Efficiency Margin - Conference Only (Major Conference Only)

As explained earlier, here’s the efficiency margin for major conference teams, conference games only. Hey, look who has the best efficiency margin!
· Again, Washington over North Carolina is not far-fetched.
· Notre Dame does not stack up against Purdue – again.
· If you want to take a flyer on something, try Texas over Duke. One, Texas hit a lull but they were being talked about as a #1 seed not that long ago so they’re not 4-seed quality. Two, from what I’ve seen, they’re exactly the kind of team that gives Duke trouble – good defensive team, tall, athletic (think Florida State).

Region Seed Team EM
East 1 Ohio State 16.66
East 4 Kentucky 11.68
East 7 Washington 11.12
East 2 North Carolina 11.03
East 3 Syracuse 8.76
East 12 Clemson 6.06
East 5 West Virginia 5.11
East 10 Georgia 5.07
East 11 Marquette 3.68
East 9 Villanova 1.46

Southeast 1 Pittsburgh 14.79
Southeast 2 Florida 11.85
Southeast 4 Wisconsin 9.72
Southeast 7 UCLA 6.01
Southeast 5 Kansas State 4.58
Southeast 6 St. John's 1.94
Southeast 10 Michigan State -3.85

Southwest 1 Kansas 17.26
Southwest 3 Purdue 12.60
Southwest 2 Notre Dame 7.58
Southwest 4 Louisville 6.77
Southwest 9 Illinois 4.67
Southwest 5 Vanderbilt 4.57
Southwest 10 Florida State 4.35
Southwest 11 USC 3.24
Southwest 6 Georgetown -0.53

West 4 Texas 19.79
West 1 Duke 15.72
West 5 Arizona 5.73
West 6 Cincinatti 5.04
West 11 Missouri 4.54
West 9 Tennessee 3.45
West 3 Connecticut 0.76
West 10 Penn State -1.72
West 8 Michigan -3.17

ASM - East Region

ASM – East Region

Here’s the thing. I know everyone says that this is the toughest region and it’s become fashionable to pick someone other than Ohio State. But…OSU has lost two games all year on the road versus two really good teams. Otherwise, they’ve pretty much dominated. I think Kentucky is the only legitimate threat here. North Carolina has ended the season on a hot streak as in a winning streak but they miraculously won three or four of their last games. They’re not dominating. Syracuse just doesn’t measure up either. I’m picking Ohio State in all my pools.

Seed Team ASM
1 Ohio State 20.0
4 Kentucky 16.2
7 Washington 14.9
2 North Carolina 14.3
3 Syracuse 13.3
8 George Mason 11.7
5 West Virginia 10.5
9 Villanova 10.1
11 Marquette 9.9
6 Xavier 9.7
12 Clemson 9.5
12 UAB 8.0
10 Georgia 7.2
15 LIU-Brooklyn 6.2
13 Princeton 4.6
14 Indiana State 2.4

ASM Southwest Region

ASM – Southwest Region

Um, Kansas. I do not like Notre Dame here. Purdue can make the Elite Eight, but I don’t think they can beat Kansas. That said, Kansas under Bill Self is extreme feast or famine. Buyer beware.

Seed Team ASM
1 Kansas 20.4
3 Purdue 14.3
4 Louisville 14.2
2 Notre Dame 13.4
5 Vanderbilt 12.2
8 UNLV 11.8
9 Illinois 10.4
6 Georgetown 10.2
7 Texas A&M 10.0
12 Richmond 9.1
10 Florida State 8.9
11 USC 7.2
13 Morehead State 5.9
11 Virginia Commonwealth 5.2
15 Akron 2.7
14 St. Peter's College 1.9

ASM West Region

I’d say Duke is a good pick here. If you’re going to do two brackets, I say pick Texas in another one. San Diego State has had a nice year, but I don’t think they stack up. Connecticut had a good run in the Big East tournament, but there was a reason they had to win five games in five nights – they were the #9 seed there. Eventually things revert to the mean

Seed Team ASM
1Duke 19.8
4 Texas 16.9
2 San Diego State 14.5
3 Connecticut 11.5
5 Arizona 11.4
11 Missouri 11.3
6 Cincinnati 10.7
7 Temple 9.6
9 Tennessee 8.4
13 Oakland 8.4
8 Michigan 7.0
10 Penn State 6.4
14 Bucknell 5.9
12 Memphis 5.6
15 Northern Colorado 3.1

ASM - Southeast Region

Interesting fact that only I would be aware of. The team with the lowest ASM of the region leaders (so the lowest ASM out of Ohio State, Kansas, Duke and Pittsburgh), has never made the Final Four in the years I’ve been following this metric. Doesn’t mean the other three teams made it, but the fourth best team hasn’t. So, if you don’t think four #1 seeds are going to make the Final Four, you might want to try Florida or BYU if you’re really feeling frisky. That said, this region stinks so Pittsburgh will probably go to the Final Four. Belmont and Utah State’s ASM’s are inflated, but might be worth an upset pick in the first round.

Seed-Team-ASM
1 Pittsburgh - 16.0
3 BYU - 15.7
13 Belmont - 15.1
12 Utah State - 13.3
2 Florida - 13.1
4 Wisconsin - 13.0
11 Gonzaga - 11.3
5 Kansas State - 11.2
8 Butler - 8.6
9 Old Dominion - 8.2
6 St. John's - 7.8
7 UCLA - 7.0
10 Michigan State - 6.8
14 Wofford - 4.9
15 UCSB - 2.0

Your NCAA bracket metrics are coming

Probably will post tonight with analysis. Maybe tomorrow. If you need this information sooner because your pool gives points for the first four games, you are in a bad pool.

Thanks for the advice

Some of the best advice I ever received during college came from Paul Williams*. He was very clear: go to Camillos on Monday for a haircut because Camillo isn't there. He was right. Camillo, while nice, didn't give good haircuts, mostly because he was always distracted. Unfortunately, there wasn't a day where both Camillo and Dante were gone, so you had to take your chances.

I was reminded of this yesterday as I ventured to a new barbershop. I have a good one near where I live, but my long weekday commute and extensive weekend obligations have made it difficult to fit in a haircut. So I made an appointment at Carmie's, which is an original tenant of the Standard Oil building/Aon Center where I work. But I got some advice: don't make an appointment with Carmie. Not only are his haircuts subpar, but his conversation is "pornographic" at times.

That's the kind of advice we all need.

*He also gave me the worst advice: "this King Cobra is pretty good. You should try it."

Are you threatening me??

Oh yes, they're coming back.......

I suspect Chapin

Headline: Fish poisoned during burglary

I think we should

AU President Cornelius Kerwin sent me - ME! - an email last night asking for my thoughts on AU's 2011 Campus Plan draft. It's actually quite interesting and even bold in some parts. Just wanted to make sure you saw it. I might add some comments later on what I think of it.

The Tavern is no more...

I took my family to see the AU Eagles men's basketball team take on the Lehigh University Hawks this past weekend. AU won, 82-75. Curiously, a team that has long relied on sharp outside shooting instead turned to the inside play of Vlad Moldoveanu and Stephen Lumpkin to get by the Hawks. Vlad had something like 37 points, far outpacing any other player on the floor. Lumpkin was also a significant presence, though his stone-handed ballhandling skills limited his effectiveness. My conclusion is that the Eagles with a dominant Moldoveanu can win the Patriot League -- but that the Eagles without Vlad would struggle to score 50 points/game consistently.

Anyway...Cherie and I decided we'd go early to the game, take the kids to the Campus Store for some AU youth gear, then take them to the Tavern for lunch. So, we hopped in the car, hit campus, bought some stuff at the Campus Store, walked into the Tavern, and...

...the Tavern is no more.

Sure, it's there in name. There's a sign on the wall in the old space that reads, "The Tavern".

But the booths? Gone. The pictures of AU athletics "glory" past? Gone. The TVs? Gone. The distinctive bar? Gone. In their place, gray-white walls, cool red and blue light panels that reach nearly from floor to ceiling, recessed lighting, and some very metro stackable chairs and tables. The character that once gave the Tavern a somewhat Tavern-like atmosphere cannot be found in the Anti-Tavern.

And you say you want to instill spirit by hosting gatherings of students or alums before or after a men's basketball game, or say, any other athletic/spirit event? Sorry, the Anti-Tavern is not open on Saturdays for food service.

You say you want to enjoy a soda or beer and converse with friends or family at a table before or after the big game? Sorry, the bar is closed and the tables and chairs are stacked and not available for use.

I find it very odd that that a university that wants to increase alumni attendance at and participation in athletic and other events has cut off a significant part of the atmosphere that favors the necessary enthusiasm. I am sad for the athletes who no longer have a place outside of Bender that tells them that AU is proud of the athletic heritage of the university or of their place in the current program. And, I am sad that alums (many of them with families) no longer have a convenient on-campus gathering place prior to or after games; it plays such a significant role in the "fan experience" to have a place to bring your kids, grab a bite to eat, relax before or after the game (especially after, to let the traffic clear out of the Bender garage).

I am glad we attended AU when the Tavern was truly a tavern, and when it was part of a vital experience at AU.

PS...Can I just say...

...that I HATE that some idiot activists decided a few years ago that my birthday would be World AIDS Day? How fucking depressing. That is all.

My daughter looks like a Conehead/Head Trauma survivor......

I can't write this on Facebook, so I'll do it here:

My daughter looks like a Conehead. Or a Head Trauma survivor. Or a mix of both.

A couple of weeks ago, she suffered a series of violent and unexplained convulsions while sleeping. The convulsions went on every 30 seconds for about 6 hours between 9 pm and 3 am. She's been to the hospital and to see a neurologist. Since the first episode, she's suffered only maybe 1-2 more episodes -- much less violent, much shorter in duration. The neurologist wants to get some data on her brain waves...so...

Today, Cherie took her to have a portable EEG strapped to her body. As part of the process, they piled all the hair on top of her head and placed electrode leads all over her scalp, then wrapped it all in white gauze. When I walked in the door from work, I was immediately struck by her appearance. I had to stop myself from blurting out to Cherie, "What the hell is this? She looks like a Conehead!"

I took some pics, which I may or may not publish here.

Rosco P. Coltrane

In learning phonemes, my son has taken to squealing, "Coo-coo-coooo!"

It sounds uncannily like two things: Rosco P. Coltrane on most every episode of The Dukes of Hazzard, and Chris Close while sneaking trash from 4319 44th St to every other trash can in Tenleytown throughout our final night.

I find myself snickering every time I hear it.

Uh huh huh huh huh...she said stroke...

In honor of a certain show we used to watch.

AU Women's Field Hockey loses in the NCAA tourney to #5 UCONN in a sudden death "stroke off".

Oh, the comedic possibilities are endless....

November 2

I don't think I've been more excited about an election day since 1994.

Of course, I didn't know how good that day would be. So, I may have been more excited about the King Cobra that Paul kept stocked at his house and would share with us lowly, uh, non-21 year olds.

Really, 16 years later, tough to say.

Hey, Cancer. F You.

Fresh off skin cancer surgery, my father will have surgery to remove a cancerous prostate on the Monday before Thanksgiving. If everything goes as planned, he'll be home from the hospital on the day before Thanksgiving.

Needless to say, on top of Cherie's father passing away in March from prostate cancer, this news hasn't exactly made for happy days in the Chapin-Raven household.

So, yeah, Cancer? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

Catching Up

The World, with the Shoppe, that is...

Anne Applebaum...

Whatever connotations it once had, the word "moderate" has now come to mean "liberal" or even "left-wing" in American politics.

No. Two weeks ago, Chris Close and I...

...brought back the clinic. Over golden tee. and almost made a stranger cry. Actually he may actually have cried but we wouldn't have noticed. It was diesel.

Discuss.

Death of the Malt Shop Logic blog?

Ok, I'm tired of seeing my post at the top of this page. Has this blog died, thanks to Facebook and the increasing responsibilities of adulthood/parenthood?

My cousin, the murderer...

My family, on both the paternal and maternal side, has been remarkably stable and happy. Each side gets along well internally, and the two sides are actual very friendly with each other, which has always made it enjoyable to attend family events, especially those that involve attendees from both sides. Additionally, in my entire extended family, there have been no criminals, no "ne'er do wells", etc. And, there has been only one divorce -- and that was precipitated by the trauma surrounding the sudden and unexpected death of a teen-aged son.


Then, there's my cousin, Jonathan -- son of my Aunt Joanne, and, well, a murderer.

In May 2002, my cousin failed to deplane a flight from Connecticut's Bradley Airport to BWI, where a professor from the University of Maryland was awaiting his arrival. Jonathan was being flown in to be interviewed for a professorship. He had been a gifted veterinarian for several years and was being considered for a position in Maryland's Department of Veterinary Medicine.

Several calls revealed that Jonathan had missed his flight because the night before he was supposed to fly in for the interview, he had shot and killed his ex-girlfriend, and was now jailed.

While under the treatment of a psychiatrist for depression stemming from the breakup of the relationship with his long-time girlfriend, Jonathan had been prescribed two medications by that psychiatrist. It just so happened that those two particular medications were contraindicated -- meaning that the drugmakers for each had given very clear instructions that under no circumstances should they have been prescribed in tandem. Why, you ask? Well, doctors and drugmakers had observed that patients taking both drugs in combination sometimes experienced homicidal feelings.

Not long after beginning the prescribed pharmaceutical regimen, Jonathan experienced just what had been previously observed. Under the influence of both drugs, and upset by an interaction with his ex-girlfriend, he committed a terrible series of acts. He drove to his parents' home while they were at work, unlocked his father's gun cabinet, removed a pistol and ammunition, loaded the weapon, drove to his ex's parents' home -- where she lived -- found a hiding place in her parents' bedroom, and awaited her return from work.

She arrived home with her younger sister and bounded upstairs. He emerged from his hiding place, confronted her about the demise of their relationship, then pointed the pistol at her and shot her until the gun's clip emptied. Within moments, the poor, 24 year-old girl was dead from wounds to the chest, face, head, and arm.

Not realizing his gun was empty, Jonathan walked downstairs, pointed the gun at his ex's sister, and fired. Thankfully, the gun clicked on an empty chamber. Finally realizing he was out of bullets, Jonathan exited the house and ran. Not long after, the police spotted him. Seeing them, he stopped, said he had just killed his girlfriend, pointed out where he had dropped a blue, plastic bag containing the gun, and submitted to arrest.

Over the course of a year, with a lot of back and forth over his culpability vs. the role of the drugs he'd been prescribed and his physician's incompetence (he apparently had stated his homicidal feelings to the psychiatrist, who failed to report them to the authorities), the state eventually offered Jonathan a plea deal with a 42-year prison sentence attached. He accepted the sentence, which included a no-parole provision required by Connecticut state law. Provided he lives long enough, he'll leave prison at the age of 72.

Until her death yesterday, my Aunt Joanne remained steadfast in support of her son, believing him to be twisted by the drugs into a state he never would have entered unless under their influence. She appealed his conviction, seeking a new trial (the original trial had suffered a number of potentially injurious failings, including incompetent representation and the fact that the judge in the case had been a friend of the victim's family and had refused to recuse herself), and sought a new location for his sentence (the state refused to place him in a facility where he could receive treatment for depression and other mental issues, even after he tried to kill himself while awaiting sentencing). She visited him in prison often, and never wavered from being his biggest champion. Now she is gone, and with her likely goes any hope Jonathan had for a future without bars.

Those of us who were less close to Jonathan have always had difficulty with the "the drugs did it" defense. His particular series of acts seemed terribly deliberate -- to require planning, forethought, cunning, and execution that most of us consider outside the abilities of a thoroughly drug-addled brain. We thought he must have known what he was doing, and that it was wrong. Though we've been asked to visit Jonathan, to write him letters, to appear as character references, we've just never been able to bring ourselves to support him. He sits in a cell, his talents wasted, his ex-girlfriend's life brutally and unforgivably ended, her sister forever traumatized by the horror of the night her sister died, her parents bereft of a daughter about whose future they will always wonder, his parents bereft of the son they thought of as sweet and innocent, all of us who called him "family" somewhat touched by the knowledge that we shared many holiday and other family events with a boy, then a man, capable of one of humanity's most base and awful acts.

The hits just keep on coming...

My aunt Joanne, who I wrote about in my last post, died yesterday. She was having surgery to address some cancer-related issues and suffered cardiac arrest while on the operating table. Apparently, when they opened her up, they discovered that the cancer was raging much, much worse than they'd thought previously. She'd have been gone within weeks or months if not for the sudden arrest.

Joanne suffered some truly bad beats during the last decade of her life, but I'll be damned if I ever saw her without a smile on her face (more on one of those bad beats in the next post). She was incredibly sweet to Cherie, the kids, an me, and I'll always be grateful for her kindness and generosity. Selfishly, I also wouldn't mind if next year we didn't suffer 3 cancer-related deaths in the family within 7 months. It's a little tough to take.

Cancer rules everything around me...

Until recently, if you'd asked me whether cancer ran in my family, or whether I gave it much thought, I'd say no. Heart disease from generations eating too much kielbasa and other fatty delicacies? Yup. Diabetes in the genes, and from slow metabolism, indulgent eating habits, and not enough exercise? Yes, we've got that, too.

But I always felt blessed that the diseases that spanned generations within my family were "lifestyle" diseases -- and that accumulation of the right habits might help me avoid them altogether.

But lately, it seems that we, either directly or through relationships, cannot escape the presence and action of cancer. My uncle Jack died of pancreatic cancer a few years ago. His wife, my aunt Ruth, succumbed to pancreatic cancer in February. Cherie's dad succumbed to prostate cancer in March. My aunt Joanne is suffering from pancreatic cancer and is probably less than a year out (and maybe much sooner) from falling to it. While on vacation this week, I found out that my father will, on the day after his 63rd birthday, have his second surgery in 3 years to remove a spot of skin cancer on his face.

And, since I had those hiccups earlier this year (which have begun a comeback the last few days), I've been diagnosed with an esophageal ulcer, which now puts me at greater risk for developing esophageal cancer.

At work, a colleague and friend who was originally diagnosed with prostate cancer was recently told that he'd been misdiagnosed and is actually suffering from pancreatic cancer. It's now attached itself to his colon, kidneys, and bladder, and (as he told me while breaking down emotionally during lunch a few weeks ago), has been deemed "terminal" by his new team of doctors.

Even on TV, I can't escape it. One of my favorite TV personalities has long been the author, intellectual, and professional critic, Christopher Hitchens. The rakish, acerbic, professional arguer, most often found clutching a whiskey in hand while articulating a strong and often contrarian position about an issue of the day, his long hair flowing with the rhythm of his argument, was recently diagnosed with and treated for esophageal cancer. Last night, I caught an interview with him conducted by Charlie Rose, and I was stunned by what I saw. The flowing locks are gone entirely, replaced by chemo-induced baldness, save for a few pathetic wisps of hair. The fire in his eyes has been dulled, and the color in his cheeks replaced by sallowness and sagging. I felt, watching him, as though I was staring at his animated death mask rather than at his living face. It was truly awful -- perhaps because a part of me thought I might be staring at a future version of myself.

Son of Teddy Senate Coke Probe

Albino python on cocaine confronts police

Police raiding a drug den in the Italian capital have been confronted by an aggressive albino python which was used to intimidate addicts.

No handicapped Cubans could be reached for comment.

(h/t AoSHQ)

The 10 Kinds Of Cleavage

I suspect this passes the hurdle of "interesting" in these parts. Choice quote:

If it bends, I can screw it.

h/t Little Miss Attilla via The Other McCain

Follow me on twitter, bitches

/matthewrsnyder

I hate...

...stupid, incompetent, shiftless people who refuse to do their jobs, but then when they must play a role at the end of a months-long process, take great delight in throwing up every roadblock of which they can conceive.

I hate them. And I wish they would all suddenly drop dead of an aneurysm.

That is all.

Five Words...

From last night's Dave Ellis concert:

Sal and Big Blue. Dating.

Wow.

Way to go, New Jersey...

...poisoning our children with heavy metal carcinogens since, well, ever....

The Tavern

Memory failing...were people allowed to smoke in the Tavern while we were in school? I know they were allowed to smoke outside the McKinley Building, but I can't remember if people were allowed to smoke inside anywhere.

For those of you...

...who might be Glenn Beck aficionados, and think he might be scrawling the truth across his blackboard, consider this. In Forbes magazine, in a cover revealing the extent of his ever-growing media empire, Beck revealed his true self, saying, and I quote, "I don't give a flying crap about the political process. We're an entertainment company." Beck has discovered the obvious truth that appealing to the worst instincts in other human being is lucrative to the tune of a $32M bucket of cash...........

Today, on Craigslist ...

So I'm trying to buy a used boat trailer. And I posted same on Syracuse Craigslist.

And the Captcha anti-spam verification phrase it asked me to type in was,

"employed hebrews"

Congratulations anyway, Joe.

How about...

...those Les Habitants!! Go Montreal. F Pittsburgh.

Chapin out.

Published!

Once upon a time, I was a lot of things, including creative. Somewhere along the way to becoming an adult, I forgot or suppressed (or both) that part of me.

Recently, I decided to pick up my pen and start exercising my brain again. Among other things, I submitted a short piece of prose to a semi-professional "litblog". Tonight, I found out that piece will be published in June.

I must admit, I'm a little bit tickled!

URL to follow in June.

Epic Windows Phone Failure...

For the last several months, I've been using the employer-issued (Sprint) HTC Touch Pro 2 "smartphone". Mostly, I've enjoyed it. Oh sure, the HTC "Touch Flo 3d" touchscreen software is a bit quirky, and it's a Windows phone, which means it has had its share of random system crashes; and sometimes the phone has slipped into "Airplane" mode (no active phone/data connections) all by itself, leaving me to miss several hours of phone calls without knowing it -- but the screen is large, the phone is durable (it has endured a few drops here and there), it has a nice slide-out keyboard, and it has performed various business functions without much incident.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday, the phone, while sitting on my desk, suddenly crapped itself. I got a series of "We're sorry" notifications from Windows as several executables stopped working -- cprog.exe, services.exe, device.exe, opera9.exe all stopped working in succession. Then, ActiveSync stopped working (last sync at 10:03 a.m. yesterday; none since). Then the phone became incredibly sluggish, often taking over a minute (and sometimes several minutes) to respond to the pressing of physical and virtual buttons. Then, I could no longer initiate phone calls -- I could only receive them.

I tried a succession of potential fixes -- I powered down; I tried a soft reset; I tried removing the battery. I left it off for several hours, then powered it back on, only to be told that the phone had tried and failed to complete the "Hands Free Activation" -- this on a phone I'd activated with Sprint several months ago.

So, a replacement phone is on the way. Sprint's policy is to reissue a new phone of the same make and model. I probably could have traded up to the newest, latest, greatest phone, but I just wasn't in the mood to push the poor customer service guy, who was otherwise quite helpful and friendly to boot..

So, here's hoping this one doesn't melt down!

Showing My Ignorance

Did you know that John Riggins was known as "The Diesel"? And that he'll be the 2010 Sports Marshal at my town's annual Apple Blossom Festival starting up tonight?

It brings me to one question: do you think he'll enjoy a Bud Diesel while in town? Or will he just long for the old bar he used to call home?

Ladner probably left them behind...

Looks like more chemical weapons have been found near AU:

The home where the latest munitions were uncovered is federal property. Next door is the university president's home, and the South Korean ambassador lives on the other side.

Cured...

Tuesday night: multi-hr ER stay culminating in receipt of 30 mg of intravenous Thorazine. Hiccups and muscular spasms went away at peak dose, came back as the dose came down -- though not as intense.

Wednesday night: spasms were back, strong enough I considered returning to the hospital. Ultimately, I passed out about 2:30 Thursday morning without going back.

Thursday: woke up a little after 8, had one minor hiccup...all day.

Friday: No spasms/hiccups. Endoscopy revealed only irritation of the esophagus and stomach. Possible a "sliding hiatal hernia" had occurred, in which the upper end of the stomach had squeezed itself into the esophagus for a few days, only to "slide" back into place prior to the procedure.

Saturday/Sunday/Monday: No spasms/hiccups.

Apparently I'm cured. Still feeling run-down after 2 weeks of hiccups and spasms every day combined with reflux and other nasty effects. But damn, it's nice to breathe easy and keep down a meal.

Fuck Congress with a Stick

That is all.

Actually, that's not all... first time checking in in a while.

Chapin, sorry for your family's loss. Tell Cherie I said, "keep your head up"

In brighter news, I know an assload about fishing on the salmon river. The stories are true if you go with the right guide at the right time of year. It can also be really, really good on the nearshore of Ontario and I'm a good friend with one of the, or maybe THE, best guide in that business.

Hit my gmail and I'll send you some ideas.

--M

F'ing hiccups...

10 days in, and hiccups still won't go away. Last night I ended up in the ER loaded up with Thorazine via IV because the hiccups have turned into powerful spasms that shut down my airway and leave me unable to breathe for several seconds at a time.

I have an endoscopy on Friday so the docs can view my insides (and hopefully figure out why I'm spasming, and then fix the damn problem).

If only I had the courage of my convictions

Take a look at this recreation of my post from March about adjusted efficiency margin. Look at two of the top three teams. To make me feel better, let's ignore the fact that Gonzaga was in Butler's bracket too.

1. Duke - 20.89 - Championship
Gonzaga - 20.88 – uh, just ignore for the purposes of this post
2. Butler - 18.61 - Championship
3. Kansas - 14.52 – Rd. 32
4. Kentucky - 10.94 – Elite 8
Syracuse - 9.99 – defeated by Butler (see above) so doesn’t count against elite 8 count
UTEP - 9.90 – defeated by Butler (see above) so doesn’t count against elite 8 count
5. California - 9.57 – Rd 32
6. West Virginia - 7.53 – Final Four
7. Ohio State - 7.17 – Sweet 16
8. Baylor - 6.66 – Elite 8

I Dunno, Chappy...

The "last" resort for your hiccup problem might work out ok for you...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZ93JG4xiwQ#t=02m27s

Stay away from my poop chute....

Last Sunday, I started hiccuping, and one week later, I haven't stopped hiccuping. And boy howdy, it sucks.

I'd gotten hiccups before, even had them last a few hours. But nothing prepares one for the prospect of hiccups that continue hour after hour, day after day, for a week straight.

I've tried all of the traditional remedies, and none of them have worked. I've been to the doctor, been put on one drug, but it hasn't worked. I will go back in the morning to ask for the next step in the treatment process, and if it doesn't include something that treats pain, I will ask for that, too. Imagine your diaphragm spasming every 5-10 seconds for 7 straight days, and then imagine that your gastrointestinal system has gotten in the act because it is upset by the constant spasming. So for the last two days, the hiccups have been followed by vomiting. Can't eat, can't breathe (well), can't talk, exhausted and can't play with the kids or help Cherie with them.

Oh, and get this: one of the newer treatments for intractable hiccups? Digital Rectal Massage.

Yeah, it is what you think it is. I'll be asking for that as one of the LAST options.......

"Everything I cook tastes better than yo' momma's nipples."

I'd somewhat randomly googled the name of a fictional restaurant, from one of my favorite authors, and the linked post came up near the top. Somehow, the Coolio references seem to make that relevant to the Shoppe, plus, if we're lucky, the title may start a bit of an effort to make inane statements appear to be from Josh. The comments are pretty good, and will at least take your mind off of college basketball, if that's the sort of thing you're not into:

"This is much better than Snoop Dogg's cookbook. Grizzle Chickizzle with Aspargizzle gets tiresome after a while."

posted by dr_dank

For Starters

Let me apologize to readers of Cheshire's Google Buzz - I've flooded it, but really had no choice. Blame Google.

Next, let's have a fun Q&A:

Q. How many Final Fours will Kentucy go to under John Calipari?
A. None officially. They'll all be vacated due to rules violations that are discovered after Calipari leaves the school (see: UMass, Memphis).

Hey-o! That was for you, Renkey.

Anyway, below are my statistical guideposts for your NCAA bracket picking this year. ASM has been pretty good. So has efficiency margin. Take your pick.

IMO, Kentucky has a ridiculous path to the Final Four. I say they don't make it. Syracuse, for all the complaining they did on the selection show about their being sent out west, got a pretty easy path. Like Duke-Baylor in elite 8. Kansas has a challenging bracket, but they are the best team - and will win the title.

But I've been wrong before.

Conference-only Efficiency Margin

Here's your conference-only efficiency margin. Generally predictive of the elite 8, especially when you discount the non-power conference teams on this list. Of course, it doesn't really match up with the ASM, so who knows.

BYU - 21.70
Butler - 20.63
Kansas - 18.00
Xavier - 17.70
Gonzaga - 17.67
Duke - 17.56
Wisconsin - 16.62
Temple - 15.21
UNLV - 14.41
Kentucky - 14.21
UTEP - 13.76
St. Mary's - 13.60
Ohio State - 12.64
California - 12.42
Richmond - 11.87
Syracuse - 11.65
West Virginia - 11.62
Maryland - 10.77
New Mexico - 10.45
Purdue - 10.10
Baylor - 9.70
Villanova - 8.35
Kansas State - 8.29
Michigan State - 7.93
Marquette - 7.73
Pitt - 6.52
Missouri - 5.38
Georgetown - 5.34
Vanderbilt - 5.31
Texas A&M - 4.81

Adjusted Efficiency Margin

I tried to normalize things by only measuring efficiency margin in conference games for top 100 RPI teams. The good thing is that it eliminates a lot of games by non-power conference teams against the dregs of society and shows you how these teams did against the type of team in the tourney. The bad thing is that it leaves a few teams with a small sample (Gonzaga, Butler, St. Mary's, to name the obvious). I tested this on last year's field and it gets you 6-7 out of 8 elite 8 teams so maybe it's worthwhile. If you don't believe a mid-major is going to make it to the elite 8, just disregard them from the list.

Duke - 20.89
Gonzaga - 20.88
Butler - 18.61
Kansas - 14.52
Kentucky - 10.94
Syracuse - 9.99
UTEP - 9.90
California - 9.57
West Virginia - 7.53
Ohio State - 7.17
Baylor - 6.66
Richmond - 6.53
Purdue - 6.19
Kansas State - 5.36
Villanova - 4.15
Temple - 4.03
Wisconsin - 3.83
Maryland - 3.35
Pitt - 3.23
Vanderbilt - 2.94

East Region ASM

Here's the East Region as the ASM sees it:

Kentucky (1) - 16.7
Wisconsin (4) - 14.8
Missouri (10) - 14.3
Texas (8) - 14.2
West Virginia (2) - 13.6
Clemson (7) - 13.0
Washington (11) - 11.9
Marquette (6) - 11.1
New Mexico (3) - 10.9
Temple (5) - 10.5
Cornell (12) - 9.2
Wake Forest (9) - 8.2
Montana (14) - 5.8
Wofford (13) - 5.2
Morgan State (15) - 4.3

Midwest Region ASM

Here's Midwest:

Kansas (1) - 21.6
Maryland (4) - 15.0
Ohio State (2) - 14.6
Georgetown (3) - 13.6
Tennessee (6) - 12.2
Michigan State (5) - 12.1
Georgia Tech (10) - 10.9
UNLV (8) - 10.6
Northern Iowa (9) - 9.7
Oklahoma State (7) - 9.5
San Diego State (11) - 9.4
Houston (13) - 5.8
Ohio (14) - 5.4
UC Santa Barbara (15) - 0.9

South Region ASM

Here's the South Region

Duke (1) - 21.0
Utah State (12) - 14.4
Baylor (3) - 14.0
California (8) - 13.6
Purdue (4) - 13.1
Villanova (2) - 12.6
St. Mary's (10) - 12.6
Texas A&M (5) - 11.5
Old Dominion (11) - 11.4
Louisville (9) - 10.9
Siena (13) - 10.1
Notre Dame (6) - 9.3
Richmond (7) - 9.0
Sam Houston State (14) - 6.5

West Region ASM

Here's the West Region as the ASM sees it:

Syracuse (1) - 18.2
BYU (7) - 17.4
Kansas State (2) - 15.9
Minnesota (11) - 13.1
Xavier (6) - 13.0
UTEP (12) - 12.6
Murray State (13) - 12.3
Florida State (9) - 12.0
Butler (5) - 11.7
Vanderbilt (4) - 11.3
Gonzaga (8) - 10.8
Pittsburgh (3) - 10.5
Florida (10) - 8.9
Oakland (14) - 3.5
Vermont (16) - 3.2
North Texas (15) - 1.6

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Or maybe Monday...

the return of the almighty ASM. And efficiency margin. And my new "creation" the adjusted efficiency margin.

The good news: lots of data to make your NCAA pool picks.

The bad news: Duke looks pretty good.

Hey, Snyder...

...what do you know about fishing for king salmon either in the Salmon River or in Lake Ontario during the fall? My dad's barber showed him some pictures of huge salmon allegedly caught in the Salmon River, so now my dad is trying to set up a fishing trip for this fall. He recently heard that the fishing is even better for the big salmon in Ontario itself. So, I thought I would tap a local resource for knowledge....

Sad news...

All: Good evening from Shorewood, IL. I write with a heavy heart to share the news that Cherie's dad, Rich Raven, has passed away after fighting prostate cancer for several years.

He entered the University of Chicago Medical Center Wednesday after being hit with an opportunistic pneumonia infection in the wake of his latest chemotherapy session. Cherie and I flew out to Chicago Wednesday afternoon when it became apparent that the infection was life-threatening.

The entire family rallied to his bedside, and we said our goodbyes yesterday evening. Despite struggling for every breath, he was in strong voice and good humor right up until his last words. After goodbyes, he looked at all of us, smiled and said, "Everybody ready for a square dance?" -- his mom and dad, long passed, had been big square dancers, and it was his way of telling us that he was ready to go see them. He closed his eyes, and began the process of winding down his life.

He never said another word.

This afternoon, while Cherie and I spelled other family members who needed a nap and a shower, he calmly exhaled his last breath and drifted away.

Rich was a truly good man who I felt fortunate to know. At 18, he joined the Air Force and served his country during the Vietnam War as an aircraft mechanic. Among other aircraft, he worked on the planes that dropped Agent Orange, which was believed to be responsible for the multiple cancers he fought during his lifetime and which eventually killed him.

He returned home to a career in telecommunications, starting as a lineman for Illinois Bell, and rising through the ranks of Illinois Bell and Ameritech, eventually becoming a project manager responsible for directing some of Chicago's biggest telco projects, including the cutover to a new 911 system for the city of Chicago, the 1994 World Cup, and the 1996 Democratic National Convention. He retired after concluding his career as a teacher for Telcordia (once part of SAIC, Matt) when his health no longer allowed him to withstand the rigors of teaching and travel.

My favorite aspect of Rich's personality was his penchant for telling interesting stories. Whether it was his time in basic training in Biloxi, working on bombers at McConnell AFB, avoiding electrocution while working on telephone lines during raging storms, standing up against Democratic Party officials with unreasonable demands, or standing on the turf at Soldier Field being honored for his work, Rich was always ready with a fascinating story that nearly always concluded with, "...and that was pretty big stuff for a kid whose dad had parked buses for the CTA!"

But most of all, I will miss hearing him say to my children, "Grampa loves you!" It breaks my heart that they will never hear that again.

If any of you are interested, donations in lieu of flowers can be sent in his memory by check to the University of Chicago Medical Center Cancer Research Foundation at:

5841 South Maryland Avenue, MC 1140; Chicago, IL 60637

The Malt Shop Brings All the Boys to the Yard (of former Congressmen)

We missed the six year anniversary. And to think, Milk Shakes meant so much more back then.

Guess where I am?

If you guessed the land of weisswurst, the Allgauer Alps, great bier, rahm und wiener schnitzel, schokolade, hot teutonic ski bunnies, and amazing alpine scenery, you guessed correctly.

GERMANY, biatches! GERMANY GERMANY GERMANY GERMANY! Eat it, and come back for seconds!

3 more days of Schneiderweisse, kaiserschmarrn, semmelknodel, Ayinger, Edinger, Schneider, Franziskaner, pommes frites, broetchen, and various foods smothered in cream sauces. Yum.

GOT-TO-LOVE-IT.

Das ist alles. Auf Wiedersehen, dummkopfs.

Oh, and Josh? Congratulations on the birth of Jackson Marley. Jackson Marley? Really? Are you actively trying to get him beat up in middle school? Sheesh.

Ha, just kidding. Congrats to you and Nik. Can't wait to meet the little tyke.

Atlanta Progressive News fires reporter for trying to be objective

Not a parody, apparently.

http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/freshloaf/2010/02/15/atlanta-progressive-news-fires-reporter-for-trying-to-be-objective/

Buzzed

For those of you on gmail, you may have noticed the new feature "Buzz". I'm reserving judgement on it insofar as I didn't know I needed it and I'm not sure I want it. However, I do want to inform everyone that, unless it has been fixed, whatever you post here shows up in Buzz as coming from Josh.

If that's not a reason to post more here, I don't know what it is.

This weather...

...officially sucks and blows. That is all.

Boo, you're terrible!

Two thoughts:

1. As if it wasn't enough that we're already digging out from more than 2 feet of snow, the latest Winter Storm Warning at weather.com predicts another 10-20 inches starting tomorrow. I love snow, but this is a bit much even for me. You can see pics of what our area looks like here;

2. This past week revealed to me the failure of big box retailers to move nimbly in response to local and regional phenomena. It's been no surprise for the last few weeks that the Mid-Atlantic is in an "active" pattern of winter weather destined to continue dumping snow on the DC-MD-VA area (and PA, NJ, NY, NC, etc.). Yet no big box store/national retailer I entered (Target, Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, EMS, REI, etc.) in the past week stocked sleds -- in fact, they had already transitioned their sporting goods departments to spring/summer items. Really, who's thinking of buying softball and baseball bats when you've had snow twice in a week and are staring down the Great Blizzard of 2010?

Anyway, at the last moment on Friday morning, when I'd nearly given up hope, my brother said, "Have you tried the hardware store?" Sure enough, local institution Fischer Hardware was stocked to the gills with sleds, snow shovels, and other winter necessities. I'll be patronizing them more often in the future.

The passing of an era/This one's for you, Josh...

Back when DVD was new and Josh and I shared a soundproofed apartment (thanks, proximity to National Airport!), I purchased the components for a home theater. Josh and I (and some of you faithful readers) spent many hours with the sound cranked up to "earth-shaking", munching bad pizza from Domino's and watching Gladiator or the Matrix or Heat or Fight Club, or some other testosterone-infused moving picture containing lots of ass-kicking, gunfire, explosions, roaring tigers, or other such manly goodness.

Today, the DVD player component of that rig, the venerable Sony DVP-S530D, finally bit the dust. It was 10 years old or more, and it finally succumbed to the infamous Sony "C 13 00" error, refusing to play discs of any kind.

So, I went to Best Buy and snagged a new Panasonic DMP-BD60 Blu-Ray player, which will nicely complement the flat screen HDTV I intend to purchase in the next week or two. I'm currently back and forth between a 46"/47" LCD TV (either Samsung, Sony, or LG) or a 50"/52" plasma (same brands). Anyone have any experience with these that they'd like to share?

The Voop's Enduring Power of Inspiration...

The American University Eagles won their third straight and fourth in five games, taking down the first-place Lafayette Leopards with an impressive 10-point road win, 76-66. The Eagles are now only 1 game behind Lafayette for leadership of the Patriot Conference. Could the young Eagles be peaking at the right time, laying the groundwork for a run at the Patriot League title and a 3rd straight berth in the Big Dance?

Stay tuned...

Furrow in the melting snow leads Eagles to victory...

The AU Eagles men's basketball team has been WOEFUL this season. Prior to today, they were 3-14, and had losses to Mount St. Mary's, Md. Eastern Shore, Fairfield, and UMBC among others.

Today, I stepped in to right the ship. Wielding the BFD, twirling it to engage that hypnotic "VOOP" sound, I guided the young Eagles to a state of self-confidence.

"Listen to the VOOP," I told them in a pre-game speech in the bowels of Bender Arena. "The VOOP wants to be victorious. The VOOP wants to you to dunk, to drain the 3, to rebound without mercy -- to excite the chubby, mediocre AU Spirit Dancers in their whorish red dresses that don't cover their too-big, too many late night chicken patty with french fries asses. It wants them to follow YOUR furrows in the snow. Now get out there and make it happen!"

The outcome: a 73-63 victory over the skinnier, white kids from Colgate.

I rest my case.

PS Stephen Lumpkins is the next Brian Gilmore. You heard it here first.

Anger at atrocious playcalling assuaged by Golden Tee domination...

1. Memo to Wade Phillips: If you repeatedly cannot figure out how to get 3 feet or less on either 3rd or 4th down against the lowly Redskins after having the same exact problem 2 weeks ago, you're not going far in the playoffs.

2. Memo to Jason Garrett: There is no reason for a trick play when you are at midfield, up 14, and jamming the ball down the Skins' throats. Just keep jamming it, instead of putting your team in a 2nd and 23 and forcing it to take unnecessary risks that result in turnovers.

3. Memo to the faithful: my anger at the atrocious playcalling and execution that kept the Cowboys from what should have been a 42-0 demolition of the Redskins was assuaged by the fact that I HOUSED Mr. Close in back-to-back matches of Golden Tee at the Buffalo Wild Wings in Warrenville, IL. Pictures will follow after I download them from my phone.

Merry Christmas to all.

I Saw AU beat DePaul

And I did a running diary of it.

Impersonal Delivery of News

So I started out with the goal of contacting people personally, but it turns out that this is much easier. So here it is: my wife is pregnant.

I truly couldn't be happier and can't wait until June 29. Everything has been good so far and we're doing everything we can to make sure it stays that way.

Cross-posted at that other blog

Not looking good for the Eagles...

The AU Men's Basketball team dropped its 3rd game in a row last night, losing 73-62 to Mount St. Mary's. Yes, we got creamed by Mount St. Mary's. We've now lost consecutive games to St. Francis, Albany, and Mount St. Mary's. It's not looking like a Patriot League Championship year for the Eagles.

I knew this would be a rebuilding year, but I had hoped after the last couple of years and our berths in the Big Dance, our recruiting classes would be strong enough to avoid this poor a start. Oh, well, it least it will be cheap Saturday afternoon entertainment for the munchkins, who will get to hear their dad yell, "Boo, you're terrible, Papparo!"

Behold a great twitter feed

A friend at work pointed me towards the greatest fake twitter feed since Barack's Teleprompter started its:

The Fake AP Stylebook

Among my favorites:

• Avoid using "gadzooks," lest your monocle pop out and land in your jar of mustache wax.
• The antecedent for "she" in "that's what she said" is generally understood to be "your mom."
• Use the suffix "-ista" to describe someone famous who doesn't really do anything.

Please read.

That night...

...for those of you who remember how Cherie and I painted our apartments at Columbia Crossing, the Seven Corners Home Depot, where FBI employee Linda Franklin was gunned down by John Allan Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo, was "our" Home Depot. It was the store we drove to again and again for paints, brushes, tarps, and the occasional impulse soda buy at the register.

We were headed there that night for more paint. But it had been a long and frustrating day, I was tired, and I convinced Cherie to turn off the path to Home Depot and head back to the apartment. Not long after arriving at home, I turned on the TV and saw the news about Franklin's murder at the very place toward which we'd been headed. Who knows, maybe it saved one of our lives that night. That was what was so frightening about those weeks -- the random nature of the killings and the knowledge that you were totally at the mercy of chance -- maybe it would be you while pumping gas, maybe not.

So good riddance, Muhammad. I hope that even unconscious, you felt your breath slip away. I hope you felt panic at the control taken away from you, at the certainty of your impending death. Like Dennis Miller said, some fuckers are just too evil to be allowed to stay on this earth. Tonight, you joined their ranks.

Chron 990

As an alumnus of both The American University and The Chronicle of Higher Education (I am proud of one of those right now)... and as a longtime PR person who was once responsible for pushing The Chronicle's "editorial choices" on to other publications so that they could make the same "disappointing" decisions to publish this factual information...

This letter from our alumni association president looks like a serious case of the university's institutional advancement machine stepping on its own dick.

I bet this wasn't the PR folks' idea, and I feel kind of bad for them. Campaign must not be going well.



From: aualum=american.edu@reply.bronto.com on behalf of AU Alumni Association
To: Matthew Snyder
Subject: Important Message from Your Alumni Association President
Date: Wednesday, November 04, 2009 7:14:19 PM

Dear fellow alumni,

I am writing you today as proud as ever to be an alumnus of American University, and with great confidence in the students, faculty, and leadership of our shared alma mater.

In your local paper, online, or in national publications such as the Wall Street Journal or New York Times, you may have noticed a story that referenced a report in the Chronicle of Higher Education regarding presidential compensation in higher education. Annually, the Chronicle collects and compares data as listed on publicly available IRS Forms 990. On Monday, the Chronicle published a story using the data from 2007–2008, which reported that AU president Neil Kerwin, SPA/BA ’71, received $1,419,339 in total compensation in 2008, ranking third highest in the nation.

Eagle to eagle, you should know that this report of Dr. Kerwin’s income is misleading. Dr. Kerwin’s annual salary, $559,067 in FY2008, historically ranks third among the seven presidents of private research universities in Washington and is moderate in relation to presidents at private universities. The total reported included deferred compensation ($481,304) and investment growth ($318,864) that Dr. Kerwin earned over nearly a decade during his service as provost and interim president. He was required to take the payout when the funds vested, consistent with board policy. It is important to note that each year of the deferred compensation was previously reported on IRS 990 forms and prior surveys as a benefit.

I hope you are able to take a moment to review a communication from AU Board Chairman Gary M. Abramson, SPA/BA ’68, on this subject here.

On behalf of the AU Alumni Association Board, I would like to express my disappointment for the editorial choices utilized by the Chronicle and, subsequently, by other news outlets. During his tenure, Dr. Kerwin has led the university to tremendous financial and academic success and the board’s compensation is especially focused on competitive, market-based compensation that is not excessive. I am proud to be serving as Alumni Board President during this time. I hope that this information is helpful to you, and I encourage you to maintain an open and honest dialogue with your alma mater.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,Brian F. Keane

X-treme townies

I can't see this happening at the Shoppe (where would you park it?), but this sure beats having a Dallas Cowgirls post at the top of the page:

Man pleads guilty to DWI in motorized La-Z-Boy

A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk. A criminal complaint says 62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers.

Planet Moron, a kindred spirit if ever there was one, has more.

Tony Romo haters...

can suck eggs....

Stop blogging now!

Or so says (sort of) friend of the Shoppe, Adam Keiper in his book review in the WSJ:

But what's so bad about a little self-censorship? It may prove safer for those of us who leave no moment unphotographed, no heartbreak or health scare unblogged, and no thought un-tweeted. And it may also help reawaken us to the quiet pleasures of private life.

I was...

...going to post something about the pathetic, inept Washington Redskins, but even as a Cowboys fan, it's just not fun to dump on them anymore. What a sad state of affairs.

Cap'n Lou, we hardly knew ya...

Rest in peace, my favorite rubber-band covered wrestling promoter. I hope you and the Ultimate Warrior enjoy some Budweiser up in heaven.

Hello in there...

...and greetings from mobalicious Utica, NY...

The Chapins, Maine Style...

Because I was tired of seeing that other post, and because I have the cutest kids on the planet....

Story of my career...

Client, 6 weeks ago: You've done a great job, Brian, and so has your team. We're going to extend your contract for a year.

Client, 4 weeks ago: You've done a great job, Brian, but the people who promised the $$ to fund your contract extension lied, so we don't have the $$ to fund your extension. But, we'll extend your contract 2 months until we figure something out.

Client, 3 weeks ago: You've done a great job, Brian, but we can't find the $$. We'll extend your contract 1 month until we figure something out.

Client, 2 weeks ago: You've done a great job, Brian, but we can't find the $$. We'll extend your contract 14 days until we figure something out.

Client, last week: You've done a great job, Brian, but we can't find the $$. Your contract expires on Monday, and that's it, you're done.

Client, last week: Oh, by the way, my boss found some $$, but he wants to give it to another contractor who claims they can do the work.

Another contractor, today: We can't do the work, so we'll advertise for it.

God Bless Detroit Tigers fans...

Earlier tonight, I took a quick look at home park attendance figures for Major League baseball. I was stunned to read that 16 of MLB's 30 franchises have been filling (on average) less than 60% of their seating capacity during home dates.

But, in Detroit, where we all know that the economy has been craptastic for most of the last 30 years, and especially so the last few years, the Tigers have managed to fill the park to 78% of capacity this year, putting them just out of the top 10 in attendance, and ahead of 19 other franchises. Unbelievable.

And Milwaukee does even better, averaging 89% sold during home dates! Is it just that there's nothing else to do in Milwaukee?

Also of note -- I always imagined that the strength of Red Sox Nation would mean that it would be #1 in average road attendance. But, the #1 team in MLB road attendance? The Chicago Cubs. Of course, I should add that they're helped by the fact that the NL Central contains 3 of the top 10 most-attended teams in all of MLB.

Finally, this sad fact -- the Atlanta Braves average 58% of capacity sold at home...73% on the road. Pathetic.

Mark Grace is no Kazimierz Michalski

From The UK's Daily Mail, we learn that a 101 year old bested a 47 year old would be thief:

A 101-year-old war veteran caught a would-be burglar by holding him in a ferocious bear hug and watched him turn red and gasp for breath.
...

"I am not as quick and decisive these days but I was much stronger physically than him.

"I used to be a boxer and I wish I was few years younger and quicker, then things would have been very different. I would have massacred his face.

Polish veteran of WWII, boxer, librarian, vigilante...role model.

Mark Grace is awesome...

...because he "owns" her....

Yes, Chris...

...BearingPoint did an exceptional job of "lowering overhead" -- lowered it right out of existence, along with the company!

All kidding aside, yes, I too was disappointed in the President's speech. Mainly I was disappointed that it came tonight and not several months ago. His references to "...the plan I'm announcing tonight....", and "Now is the season for action," left me asking, "Where the hell has this plan been for the last several months while you've left Congress to dither??? Why wasn't the season for action 3 months ago?"

I also thought President Obama lost an opportunity with people who want to support our President but who have lost faith in him to exercise some humility and state outright that he has been too passive in this effort, and that he has failed completely to articulate (before tonight) his plan for health care.

He made health care reform a top priority (leaving aside for the moment the strong argument that there were and remain many other top, and expensive, priorities), and then apparently sat idly by watching as the Congressional cockfight over health care likely ruined any chance for reforming a system that all of us agree needs fixing in several areas.

Now, here he comes, the supreme rooster, feathers shining, strutting into the fray, with his grandiose calls to action -- "...I intend to be the last," "Now is the season for action," "Now is the time to deliver," "...we will meet history's test," -- UGH.

I want to support him, but tonight's speech smacks of (well, some bad, cliched speechwriting to start) a president out of touch, who as his biggest critics contend, is a big fan of speechmaking, but not much of a fan of real, actual work.

And yeah, the quip about "profits" being bad -- to me, smacks of stupid, misplaced class warfare -- the bottom line is, the President needs the cooperation and collaboration of the private health care industry to achieve any significant reform -- and calling them out again as the bogeyman isn't going to help him.

I hope I'm wrong. He's our President -- I want to believe him and believe in him. I want for our country to make changes to our health care system that will improve it. I hope he understands that he has mismanaged this effort, that sitting back and now strutting into the fray has not been a helpful approach, and that he intends to (to use another cliche) roll up his sleeves and get down to the dirty, detailed business of working with Congress to craft useful legislation. But, I'm not optimistic.

PS, we're coming to Chicagoland again Sep 27 - Oct 2. Prepare for another visit to BWW, and to conjure up some good ideas for wagers on your predictions on the performance of my fantasy football team, 'cause 4-8-1? Them's is fightin' words.

Uh, Really?

This line from the president's speech is getting a lot of laughs out there:

"But by avoiding some of the overhead that gets eaten up at private companies by profits, excessive administrative costs and executive salaries, it could provide a good deal for consumers."

Profits are part of overhead, according to the president. I guess Bearing Point did a really good job lowering its overhead in recent years.

If that's really what the president thinks, then Adam Smith just rolled over in his grave.

Real Live Death Panels

I'm excited to beat Brian to the punch on a day when Sarah Palin has an op-ed in the WSJ. She even talked about Death Panels:

Given such statements, is it any wonder that many of the sick and elderly are concerned that the Democrats' proposals will ultimately lead to rationing of their health care by—dare I say it—death panels? Establishment voices dismissed that phrase, but it rang true for many Americans.

Of course, no matter what former Enron adviser Paul Krugman says about horror stories from the British health system, those people are facing real death panels:

Doctors left a premature baby to die because he was born two days too early, his devastated mother claimed yesterday.

...

They ignored her pleas and allegedly told her they were following national guidelines that babies born before 22 weeks should not be given medical treatment.

...

She said he was breathing unaided, had a strong heartbeat and was even moving his arms and legs, but medics refused to admit him to a special care baby unit.

Medics allegedly told her that they would have tried to save the baby if he had been born two days later, at 22 weeks.

In fact, the medical guidelines for Health Service hospitals state that babies should not be given intensive care if they are born at less than 23 weeks.

God Damn...

I wish I had 1-10th the talent or ability to inspire that these guys have....

Guess who's back

@ Yahoo! Video

Attention, Attention Sunny Day Real Estate Fans...

...Sunny Day Real Estate is reuniting after a 10-year hiatus for a US concert tour.

Mr. Close, do I recall correctly you were a fan? They're playing the Metro in Chicago on 9/24. More info here.

That is all.

East of Moline...

If you were to look up Shorewood, IL, on Google Earth or Google Maps or Google Mildly Useful Product #341, you would see that west of Shorewood, all the way to Moline, IL, on the Illinois-Iowa border and on the banks of the Mississippi, there is, essentially, nothing. Oh sure, there are maybe a couple of hundred houses stretched across a couple of hundred miles, but really, there's just nothing.

Driving along Route 52, or Route 80, it's a rather featureless landscape -- lots of flat fields, green in summer, brown any other time, growing corn, wheat, and soybeans, and providing forage and space for hogs and cattle. All of those are important -- but it makes for a boring, even dreary landscape.

Adding to the dreariness, we are here in Shorewood to celebrate and mourn. We are here to celebrate Cherie's dad's birthday, but here to mourn that this is likely the last birthday he will live to celebrate.

He suffers from terminal, metastatic prostate cancer. Seven years ago, while prepping for surgery to repair fractured, weakened bone in his upper right arm (the consequence of another cancer, liposarcoma, that he beat, and the severe doses of radiation he endured to beat it), doctors found the prostate cancer. He suffered every treatment the fine doctors at the University of Chicago could come up with -- chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, more chemotherapy, androgen deprivation (aka chemical castration), various drugs in various phases of clinical trial, and soon more radiation-- but no treatment has been able to fully arrest the growth and spread of the cancer. He has suffered loss of appetite -- for food and sex -- had to shit through a pillow, lost his hair, puked his guts out, pissed blood, filled with fluid, nearly gone comatose, had his testosterone level driven to zero, suffered radiation burns to his skin -- has survived every side effect that has been thrown at him -- but it hasn't stopped the cancer.

Instead, slowly, inexorably, it has spread to distant regions of his body. He has lesions in his shoulders, back, and ribs -- and more growing in other places, not large enough yet to show up on the various scans he endures on frequent visits to the hospital. Doctors long ago stopped talking about remission, first retreating to talking about slowing the disease, and now talking about "palliative" care -- reducing pain in the face of fairly imminent death. The lesions are growing, more are appearing, the cancer markers in his blood are more numerous, and the pain he suffers is greater by the day.

No amount or variety of painkillers eases the pain completely. Sometimes he swallows oxycodone until he passes out. He sleeps off and on all day. But the pain is always there. The lesions eat through bone, causing tremendous pain, and weakening his bones to the point of fracture. The lesion on his spine may eat right to his spinal cord, which he won't know until one day he wakes up paralyzed, or just doesn't wake up at all.

He's not yet 60, but he shuffles like an 80 year-old man. The radiation treatment he will soon begin will target the individual, visible lesions, seeking to shrink them and reduce their impact. Ultimately, the treatment will fail, and it will be time once more for a decision he has faced several times already -- fight on, or give in -- and die?

Fight on, he says. More medicine that makes me puke, he says. More radiation that burns my skin, he says. More chemotherapy that makes everything taste like metal and gives me hemorrhoids and makes my hair fall out, he says. I've fought for seven years, he says. I've seen four grandchildren born, seen the first reach first grade just today, he says. I've seen a son and a daughter become parents, and I've seen another daughter grow into one of Boston's finest surgeons, he says. Fuck you, cancer, he says. I'm not done with you yet. You may have taken my brother, mother, every uncle and aunt I've ever known, others I never got to know, and you may get me, he says, but NOT WITHOUT A FIGHT. Seven years and counting, and I'M NOT FINISHED.

And that's why I love him. For all the agony -- the pain, the suffering, side effects, the bad news, the march of treatment, failure, treatment, failure, treatment, failure -- he blazes on. For his children, grandchildren, wife, brother, friends, and for all those who fought and lost and all of those who fight on still, he blazes on.

West of Joliet...

Dateline!

That's a shout out to Eliza Schlesinger for all of those fans of the Last Comic Standing, from her gig on TheStream.TV. Check it out. Anyway..........

The whole clan is once again in this hamlet of nothingness known as the "Village of Shorewood", in eastern Illinois about 50 miles southwest of Chicago .

Sitting west of Joliet off of Exit 253 on Route 55 South, Shorewood sits on land formerly occupied by corn stalks, soybean plants, and the occasional cricket. Its largest feature (depending on how one defines "large") is either the "Del Webb" retirement community of "Shorewood Glen" in which I sit typing this, or the white water tower I see rising above the flatlands, shaped like a hot air balloon, with "Shorewood" painted on it in black, block letters.

The trailer park is big, too, but not quite as large as Shorewood Glen. It (the trailer park) may be more populated, though.

Cherie's parents bought into this "Active Adult" community two years ago yesterday -- about the time the housing market began to tank. Consequently, the part of the community where you'd find Casa de Raven is surrounded mostly by empty home lots awaiting new owners and new construction.

Pulte Homes is the developer behind "Del Webb" communities. Personally, I think it's time to retire the Del Webb brand name. Webb was a name that meant nothing to me prior to learning about Cherie's parents' home purchase. I have since learned that Webb was born in 1899, died in 1974, and was the real estate developer who (among other things) built the famed retirement community, "Sun City" in Phoenix, Arizona, and also built up Tuscon. All of this occurred between 1948 and 1960. He also built the Flamingo, Sahara, and Mint casinos in Las Vegas, and used his wealth to buy a share of ownership in the Yankees.

He was, by all accounts, quite accomplished.

Unfortunately for Pulte Homes, Webb's -- and Sun City's -- heyday was in the early 1960s. This means that the folks now retiring and searching for "active adult" communities (which like to bring in people around 55 yrs of age) were probably around 10-12 years old when Webb was at his peak. So, they probably barely recognize who he is, if they recognize him at all. His name is at this late date unlikely to retain any strong selling power -- when's the last time any of you thought, "When we retire, let's go to Sun City!"

Certainly, his name doesn't seem to have spared Pulte from the recession. This development is half-unfinished, and in many cases, empty home lots have reverted to nature. The lot behind the house I'm sitting in is now a small pond with reeds, snails, and at least one family of ducks.

More to come in the next post....

Right on cue...

...unable to stand the cold of Alaska without the warm embrace of the spotlight, Sarah Palin chimes in on health care and once again exploits her retarded son to make a point. Some terrible victim of the media she is....

Today...

...I biked 8 miles, and Cherie and I took the kids to Camden Yards to see the Red Sox put a whooping on the Orioles -- which they did, 18-10, to sweep the 3-game series. It was Audrey's second Red Sox game, after a game at Fenway last year with my brother. It was Edziu's first game ever. And damn, if both kids didn't act like saints for 3+ hours. My son sat quietly, watching the game, and Audrey cheered for Big Papi and munched on chocolate ice cream with sprinkles to battle the heat :-) And, after torrential rain in the morning, we found Camden under blue skies and sunshine.

I could not have asked for a better way to conclude the weekend. Now, 5 more business days to vacation.

It cannot come soon enough. I am ready to strangle my clients with my bare hands. I need a few days unplugged from my laptop and Blackberry. Paul, you need a Whataburger real estate scout for the mid-atlantic?

Why aren't there any Whataburgers here in the DC area, Paul? There are so many transplants from Texas and the rest of the South here, I bet Whataburger would kill. DC is dying for a non-McDonald's/BK burger joint besides 5 Guys -- its burgers are so greasy you can only eat there twice a year without inducing a heart attack or stroke.

And riddle me this -- why aren't there any Sonics closer to the DC metro area than Fredericksburg and Winchester? I mean honestly, if Sonic can open a franchise in Binghamton, where it's only warm enough for drive-up service 3 months out of the year, Sonic could make a killing in northern Virginia!

The Sports Guy at his self-indulgent best...

I love me some Sports Guy. I love me some Almost Famous. Here, I got both. Lovely.

So I got tired...

...of staring at that long article. I won't do that again. That was just obnoxious.

In other news, I am still employed. Good times. Check back again in September, when the "new organizational structure" is announced.

Peculiar family values...

I don't often agree with Sally Quinn. Mostly, I think she's useless, and has been riding her marriage to Ben Bradlee for a long time. But, in this article about Sarah Palin, I think she's dead right. I'm sick to death of hearing Palin bemoan her victim status, when she's dragged herself and her children into the spotlight again, and again, and again. She's no one's victim except her own. If only her children could say the same.

Great Storyteller

Hey, Chaps. Your ex-wife got a job at Lockheed Martin. Must be a huge step down from that work at Geffen.

All divisions outside the AL East are poo-poo...discuss....

At nearly the halfway point of the 2009 MLB season, the AL East remains the superior division in baseball.

The AL East has 4 of the top 10 teams in the AL, including 3 of the top 5 (#1, #2, and #5).

4 of its 5 teams are over .500, with 3 teams at .550 or better. The other divisions:

AL Central: 3 teams over .500, but only 1 over .550
AL West: 3 teams over .500, but only 1 over .550
NL East: 2 teams over .500, 0 teams over .550
NL Central: 3 teams over .500, 0 teams over .550
NL West: 3 teams over .500, 1 team over .550

The other division leaders would be in the following positions in the AL East:

1. AL Central -- Detroit Tigers (.551) -- 3rd place, just ahead of the Tampa Bay Rays (.550)
2. AL West -- LA Angels (.553) -- 3rd place, just ahead of the Tampa Bay Rays (.550)
3. NL East -- Philadelphia Phillies (.520) 5th place, behind the Toronto Blue Jays (.525)
4. NL Central -- Milwaukee Brewers (.538) 4th place, ahead of the Toronto Blue Jays (.525)
5. NL West -- LA Dodgers (.633) 1st place, 1.5 games ahead of the Red Sox

Just my way of saying, The AL East is MONEY, and so are my RED SOX.

The History of Golden Tee

Thank goodness at least one person around here still reads newspapers in print form. This eye-opening article revealed that I live near ground zero for Golden Tee-dom. Proper.

Oh Retro TV, how do I love thee?

Airwolf, Magnum, the Beaver, Incredible Hulk, Knight Rider, A-Team, the Hardy Boys, Buck Rogers, classic Battlestar Galactica, and Alfred Hitchcock, all on one channel?

It's all the TV I watched when I was 10, and on one channel! How can I resist?

Oh, and I left out the Rockford Files!

It's awesomeness and crapitude all rolled up in one!

Terry Francona is giving me agita...

Last night, ageless Tim Wakefield was, if not cruising, certainly easing through the Yankees lineup, with a 6-3 lead after 6, and not appearing to struggle. The whole value of Wakefield is that when he's not struggling, he's an innings-eater.

So what did Francona do? Sat him after 6 and brought in Ramon Ramirez, who promptly gave up back-to-back home runs. Though the Red Sox hung on for a 6-5 win, it was a managerial move that made no sense.

Tonight, Brad Penny has absolutely cruised through 6, shutting out the Yankees and protecting a 1-0 lead. He was in rhythm, befuddling most of the brutal Yankees' lineup.

So what did Francona do? Sit him after 6, bringing in Manny Delcarmen...who promptly gave up 3 runs, putting the Red Sox down, 3-1.

Gaaahhhh!! It's ok to leave your starters in more than 6 innings, Terry, especially when they're doing well. Gaahhh!

A Capital Idea

It has occurred to me several times over the past few months that next February will mark the 10th anniversary of Russ the Bus booting the gentleman of 4319 44th Street from their long-time living space. Though my IQ and general decision making declines precipitously when I return to Tenleytown, it seems to me that a reunion-type gathering is in order.

I've already talked* to the current owners of 4319 and they've agreed* to let us rent the house for a week for 1/4 *of what we paid monthly in 2000. I thought that was very generous of them and immediately accepted*. I'll collect the $300 from you later.* It'll be great to be back in that place.*

Boo also was ok* with our return for a week though he will be on vacation*. I also managed to track down* the owner of the building that used to house the Malt Shop. He agreed to open the building up for us - we can't bring alcohol there but there are some kegs left over from before the old place left.* I figured that's ok because it has to be better than the current Malt Shop.+

Things are in motion. So, start thinking about setting some time aside next February for a trip to DC. Since all of you seem to be moving to the area anyway, you won't have much excuse for not making it.

*Not even close to being true.
+Sadly, true.