More Sites to visit...

www.break.com (some downright funny videos; also some "not safe for work" videos -- so be careful)

http://www.innbook.com/ -- Home to the Select Registry, a directory of great bed and breakfasts -- for finding good places to take Susan on a relaxing mini-vacation

www.aintitcool.com/ or www.chud.com or www.digitalbits.com-- for the latest on movies and tv and DVD

www.vault.com -- want the latest gossip about a particular corporation? Here it is....

www.realbeer.com -- links to breweries that sell direct, links to beer of the month clubs, links to cigar shops, etc.

www.sudsgear.com -- beer-related merchandise -- from Coors Light to Blue Moon

http://www.samssteins.com/ -- more beer merchandise, including the "Rusty Wallace Last Call" Mug and Simpsons beer steins

Websites for Christopher...

www.reason.com

www.space.com

www.homestarrunner.com

www.newsoftheweird.com

Opinion Journal

Opinion Journal is the free version of the Wall Street Journal's editorial page. The "Best of the Web Today" is always good.

Sites

BoingBoing. Use a good advertising filter (I recommend Adblock in Firefox -- let me know if you want a pre-populated Adblock filter) and you've got a wide collection of fun stuff each day.

Also, I'm half of the mind to say let's kill this site. Or, at least, rename it. I mean, honestly. The logic in the Malt Shop is that there is no Malt Shop. (And I want to see what, if any, of our art is still there.)

I Need Your Help

My predicament: sometimes at work I get all my assignments done too quickly leaving me with plenty of time on my hands. The only problem is that I have reached the limits of the Internet for me.

What I need from you: Suggestions for new and interesting web sites I can visit so as to entertain and educate me. Let's all bear in mind that suggesting porn sites is not going to help me - you know who I'm talking to.

Here's what I read regularly now:
washingtonpost.com
chicagotribune.com
suntimes.com
nationalreview.com
bigtenwonk.blogspot.com
illinitalk.blogspot.com
illiniwonk.blogspot.com
Mark Tupper's Illinois Fighting Illini blog
yocohoops.com
patriotleaguehoops.com
weeklystandard.com
my e-mail
my fantasy football website

Add it up, that still leaves lots of free time. So, I ask you, what keeps you occupied, but not fired, on the Internet?

Thank you for your assistance.

Another Birthday Haiku for Brian

Randi and Michelle
Silicone dreams 10 years hence
Lesbian despair

Haiku #2

I'm 31 now
I even have gray nose hairs
Getting older blows

Haiku

This blog has gone cold
not enough updates to read
Losing to Chris sucks

despair not

Piss and rage can fix it.

A Note on the Site

You may have noticed that the sidebar stuff had been at the bottom of the page for the last couple days. When I added in the ability to see the number of comments, something got f-ed up. It appears to have been fixed.

So, not only can you post comments, you'll now know if people have posted them. Post away.

That is all for this administrative crap.

PS

I am ashamed by the drunken behavior Mr. Close refers to -- which also included pouring beer down Josh's back and trying to add backspin to every other player's shot and/or change their clubs -- and I attribute that behavior to my deep sadness over the Malt Shoppe's death -- I needed to drown it in drink....or it could be the fact that for the first time in years, I did not have to drive to the Malt Shoppe.

Ye Dead Malt Shoppe....

Chris' post said it all. Our home away from home is gone, replaced by a yuppified, trendy seafood spot. The expansive full-floor bar has been replaced with a tiny, cramped area between the last booth and the kitchen. Beer-soaked, peanut shell-covered wood planking has been replaced with trendy Pergo, with nary a peanut can in sight. Yellowed pics of Riggins, Quaid, Auerbach, and the retarded kid have been replaced with watercolors, ship models, and taxidermied swordfish. The wooden bar with decades of grime and water rings has been replaced with a shiny, faux stone-faced monstrosity overhung with purple lights -- it belongs at Yanyu or Au Pied du Cochon -- not the Malt Shoppe.

We cast about desperately like dying men for alternatives in Tenleytown, but encountered only disappointment and the death of an era.

The Malt Shoppe is dead. Long live the Malt Shoppe.

Ye Sucke Malt Shoppe

One more piece of my youth died tonight when I visited the new Dancing Crab/Malt Shop. Sorry to say, but an era is over.

The fact that it was more Dancing Crab than Malt Shop when we arrived about 8:00 just demonstrated the genius of the old place. Those two institutions were never meant to mix. Yet there we were.

As this blog's contributors will tell you, it was so bad, we abandoned the place for Guapo's then Armand's. Yes, we were slumming at Armand's! The bartender was nice, though we left her with no confidence that her diploma at AU would be worth anything. The beer was in pitchers, there was a drunk townie, but it was still not the Old Dank Lady.

We returned to what we were told would be "The Malt Shop" around 10. Let's just put it this way - at the old Malt Shop, we would not have been the first people ever to put graffiti on the bathroom walls. The Golden Tee was in an inconvenient corner and some f-ed up new version, Chapin was drunk AND playing Golden Tee well, and then he screwed my overall score by f-ing my putt up. F you, Chapin!

But back to the main point. They can keep the name, but it's just not the same place. Where are the pictures of Riggo and Randy Quaid on crack? Not here! There was a wine rack for God's sake! There was even a machine to make sure that Caleb's jaeger shots were shots and not full glasses.

Nothing can last forever, and there is apparently a decent reason for the move, but our loss is no one's gain. RIP Ye Olde Malt Shopppe. I pour my malt liquor out for you.

If you ever wondered...

...why the GAO seems to come out with several reports a year on "wasteful government IT spending," wonder no more. Check out the tidbit below from the Department of the Interior -- found by me in a FAQ at the DOI website regarding its new enterprise HR system. The bold, underlined effect is my doing:

Q: Why SAP HR software, why not one of the more publicized federal HR software competitors -- PeopleSoft and Oracle?

A: While PeopleSoft and Oracle have nationally known and respected HR software packages, SAP actually has a larger world-wide client base and is the largest producer and distributor of HR software worldwide. In the private sector, many of the country's largest companies use SAP HR software. Up until the FHRIS Project, however, SAP did not have a federalized product. If fully implemented, the FHRIS Project will allow SAP to federalize its HR product while giving Interior access to world-class HR software.

So let me understand this...SAP's competitors have nationally known and respected packages, among them "Oracle Federal HR", with which which I am familiar -- and has been developed for several years in close cooperation with the US federal government and is very well-tailored to US Federal Government needs -- yet Interior chose to use as its platform an ERP package with absolutely NO Federal content, and knew this going in? And since when (except for vital military tools) is the government in the business of allowing itself to be used as a product development guinea pig -- and what's worse, by a foreign corporation, when an American corporation (Oracle is based in Redwood Shores, CA) has a proven product already on the market? If you've ever been involved in technology implementation, you can already see the cost of FHRIS shooting through the roof. Ridonkulous.

I'm up for it, too...

...and it better be Thursday, because I'm going to Chicago this weekend to help Cherie and her family -- who all were born on the South Side and are all White Sox fans -- celebrate the end of the Curse of the Black Sox!

Brian

Re: The New Malt Shop

I'm up for a Thursday night at Ye Newe Malt Shoppe. If the Yuengling tastes like Yuengling and the Golden Tee is gone, I reserve the right to walk out.

The new Malt Shop

I was in Tenley yesterday, and poked my head into the Malt Shop. The old place is closed, and they've taken over the Brazilian restaurant next door. It's now both the Dancing Crab and the Malt Shop. But Caleb was in there, and yes, the bar itself was fairly full at about 4:45 on a Monday afternoon. Golden Tee was there, too. So I think a Thursday trip is in order?

Visitation Rights

So, when does the Ye Olde Malte Shoppe move? Cause I'm in town for Halloween weekend, and I need to get my drink on. I heard something on the 27th? Cause that would be sweet.

WTF!?!

My final post of the night...

So, Alicia Groh happens to take the same bus as me sometimes, and she mentioned that she drove by the Malt Shop and it looked like it was closed! We've had these scares before (remember the great fire of 2004?), but I got around to doing a search today for Ye Olde Malt Shoppe. And check out this excerpt of a Post chat (I did not post the question):

Washington, D.C.: Going Out Gurus - help! I just heard a rumor that my favorite dive bar might be closing. Can you find out anything about The Malt Shop (above the Dancing Crab) closing/moving? Thanks!

Julia: Nothing to fear -- turns out that the Malt Shop is just moving next door.

WTF?

First of all, one of you enterprising Malt Shop Logicers must call the bar to see, well, WTF?

Second, if the Malt Shop moves, will it really be the Malt Shop? This is a question for the ages. The new place cannot possibly have:
a. the dank
b. the bathroom with all the grafitti
c. the dank
d. the townies
e. the dank
f. anti-freeze laced taps
g. the dank
h. the stairs of life (on the way in)
i. the dank
j. the stairs of death (on the way out)

Really, WTF?!

Blogs that Link to Us

Thank you, Washington Post, for your "see what the blogs are saying about this story" feature. I guess. I assume that is how this blog (scroll down a bit) linked to us on my post about the Post's self-fulfilling prophecy about runs on gas stations.

Just so you know that what we say does get noticed. Frightening.

AU in BB&T Classic?

Uh, so I was momentarily excited that AU was going to be in the BB&T Classic this year - traditionally it has been a great tourney with two good non-area teams with two local teams. Then I saw that it was an all-local team line-up. Guess they couldn't get any good outside teams this year.

But it might be cool to see AU play at the MCI Center. We should think about it.

The Post's latest story on Ladner...

The Washington Post has published yet another story on the reign of Ben Ladner as AU's President. For any who want proof of the Post's media bias, look no further than its seemingly innocuous reference to criticism of Ladner's lifestyle by a "former student" Adam Eidinger.

If you've ever watched local TV footage of nearly any liberal protest held in this city, you know Adam Eidinger. He's the one with short reddish hair, long "mutton chop" sideburns, and glasses with thick black rims. For anyone who doesn't recognize him, here is the website he put up when he ran for DC Shadow Rep as a member of the "DC Statehood Green Party".

He is a self-aggrandizing, far left activist whose best trait is his ability to get himself on TV. Notice the picture on his website of his guest appearance on "Hardball."

He is not representative of AU's population, and it's lazy and unfair of the Post to simply refer to him as a "former student". They should at least report that he is a self-acknowledged member of the far left fringe and that such information is relevant to understanding his criticism of the Ladner's lifestyle, which he no doubt sees as an oppression of the proletariat.

October Madness

Hey, if I had to choose between the White Sox and the Cubs, I'd take the Cubs. But seeing the Good Sox smack the hell out of the Bad Sox, I'm sure I'm in the majority of this blog in rooting for the Pale Hose.

Regardless, two good posts by Mr. Snyder and Mr. Chapin on the Ladner situation. I actually really like Brian's suggested punishment/reprimand, though I think things have gotten too out of hand. And Matt is right - AU botched the PR part of this that wholesale changes are needed no matter what.

Don't know if you caught this Post chat on Monday, but thought I'd post a link. They didn't take any of my questions, but I noticed that some of the language I have used about the Board (i.e., "asleep at the wheel") showed up here. Is MaltShopLogic becoming influential?

Perish the thought.

Here we go again...

...thanks to 2 wins in their final 3 games and the complete collapse of the Cleveland Indians, the 2005 Boston Red Sox will defend their 2004 World Series crown. How sweet it is.

The New York Yankees, counted down and out by most sports journalists all season long, went 15-5 in their last 20 games to pull even with the Sox and win the AL East title by virtue of their 10-9 advantage over the Red Sox in the season series between the 2 teams.

Could we see a rubber match to settle AL supremacy between the Yanks and Sox -- who now each have one AL pennant in the last 2 years?

Or will the surging ChiSox and the resurgent Angles spoil the story line?

Oh, I love October....

Actually, to temper that a bit...

I'm probably being a bit too harsh.

On reflection -- this is what happens when the people sending the message aren't talking with the people making the message. It may not be Checcio's fault. But it IS his responsibility to fix that problem if it exists.

Worst planning ever

As a PR pro working in university advancement, the institution's response to this is laughable, shameful and embarrassing all rolled into one.

AU has had recent, painful experience with presidential scandal but apparently didn't learn anything from that big crap-splatter.

It's been clear for a long time that Ladner's pay and spending were potential trouble spots. Hell, I was the one who first tipped off the Washington Post that he had cracked the Top 10 highest paid college presidents, back in '00 or '01 or so. Fun for me, painful for the alma mater, and seems that no one thought ahead about what to do if the situation (inevitably) got worse.

Now, this crisis strikes at a time when AU is without a director of media relations, meaning WP and CHE folks are able to take full advantage of the divisions and confusion that may or may not exist at the board and central-admin levels. And all the institution can do in response is issue misguided blast e-mails to alums, saying basically, "sure, you can trust us. And oh by the way, leave us alone. But pleeeeze, keep sending money."

Brian, whether we know the fundamentals of the situation or not (and I share your opinion that we do not, yet), the handling of it has been piss-poor, damaging to AU's reputation and damaging to whatever value my degrees once held (no big whoop there).

On the basis of that failure alone -- not the spending issues, but the crisis management failure -- Ladner should go, a big portion of the BoT should go, and Al Checcio should pack up his shame and get out of higher education advancement altogether. When it comes to managing the esteem of the institution, the buck stops with him. And he let us and AU down.

I know a few people who were interested in the media relations directorship. I bet they're not now. I wouldn't want to work for these people either.

My take on the Ladner Situation...

1. It is too early to form a wholly educated opinion, as nothing reported in the Washington Post suggests that the analysis of Ladner's spending is complete.

2. However, given what is available, I conclude the following:

3. Much of this "crisis" is overblown -- many of the allegedly questionable expenditures by Ladner and his wife as reported in the Post seem to me to be absolutely reasonable expenditures by a university executive responsible for raising the funding and prestige profiles of a private university.

For instance, the Post picks at the scab of the "waterfall in the backyard" -- which by the way, has long been a sore spot with anti-Ladnerites. One infamous anti-Ladnerite, the kid who started benladner.com, used to sneak into the backyard to hang out by the waterfall and take pictures, expressing righteous indignation when staff kicked him out, saying the since he paid tuition, it was "his waterfall, too".

Anyway, it should be noted that Ladner had the waterfall installed as part of a broader effort to shore up the steep hill at the edge of the backyard, which was crumbling and eroding away. To my mind, a university president who is tasked with entertaining wealthy Washingtonians and US and international muckety-mucks with the hope of extracting large checks from them should be allowed to fix up the backyard of his house, and to even make it nice by installing a fake waterfall. I should also say that I know he used that backyard for such entertaining because I personally attended several events there.

His trips to Nigeria, his driver, the expensive food -- all of that can reasonably be construed as expenses normally incurred by a chief executive in the performance of his functions. If I'm going to ask the CEO to travel to Nigeria to establish another branch of the university or otherwise forward university goals, he can damn well fly first class.

Even such expenditures as his wife's birthday party could be reasonably construed as the funding of an opportunity to entertain wealthy guests whose pockets he wanted to pick for the university's benefit. Indeed, even the Post admits that he seems to have been successful doing that.

4. Having said that, Ladner appears to have occasionally either a) taken advantage of lax University oversight of Presidential expenditures or b) been careless about his spending. Having spent some time around Ladner and his wife as Speaker of AU's General Assembly, and as president of the University Honors Program Student Advisory Board, it was clear from the first time I met them that both had a taste for "the finer things in life." I can see how their taste for high living might have contributed to lax spending discipline on their part, and even eventually a casual disregard for the line between personal (i.e. son's party) and job-related expenses.

5. Regarding a remedy to the situation -- I believe that while serious, Ladner's offenses are correctible, and that his performance in raising AU's reputation and funding levels merit retaining him as chief executive of the university. Moreover, the problem generally (lax spending controls by executives) can be protected against without significant effort or cost. As Mr. Close noted, Mr. Ladner's expenses can be audited on a more frequent basis, and the Board of Trustees can take a more active role in policing the compliance of AU's executives with university policies. I say admonish Ladner publicly, force him to repay the university for any clearly personal expenses, implement stronger and more frequent financial controls, and engage the Board to exercise its responsibilities better.

All Must Go

An actual defense by Ladner in today's Post.

Or should I say, "defense". Cuz it weren't not too convincing. Particularly the part about not repaying the university for his son's 13-course engagement party. Uh, how about not charging the university in the first place?

However, this all goes back to the Board of Trustees' complete lack of oversight. What's with the Trustee who resigned because Ladner was too difficult to deal with? Why not bring these problems to the attention of the rest of the board and apply needed pressure? Resign? Coward's way out.

It seems to me from this article that Ladner is looking for a way out. Probably should be granted. And then the entire Board of Trustees should resign too - they not only negotiated these contracts that might have either permitted these expenses or opened up the possibility that they were permitted but also failed in their fundamental duty to mind the store.

All must go.

Ah, Ye Olde Press Screenings

I've managed to snag a press screening of Serenity. I was hooked on the "Firefly" series by the KeiperFinches. If you're at all a sci-fi fan (Chapin) I highly recommend this. Some solid science, some fun story telling.

Wherein I sell my soul:
Joss Whedon, the Oscar® - and Emmy - nominated writer/director responsible for the worldwide television phenomena of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE, ANGEL and FIREFLY, now applies his trademark compassion and wit to a small band of galactic outcasts 500 years in the future in his feature film directorial debut, Serenity. The film centers around Captain Malcolm Reynolds, a hardened veteran (on the losing side) of a galactic civil war, who now ekes out a living pulling off small crimes and transport-for-hire aboard his ship, Serenity. He leads a small, eclectic crew who are the closest thing he has left to family –squabbling, insubordinate and undyingly loyal.

Free Benjamin Ladner!

We should start a grassroots campaign. Start with "Free Benjamin Ladner" bumper stickers and tee-shirts. Move on to coffee mugs if necessary. If things look grim, we go underground...guerrilla...

Chappy, I know you've had your fair share of encounters with the authorities at AU, so maybe you could offer some sage advice?

BTW, anyone else think Nancy "Kiki" Ladner was kinda MILFish? At least back in the late 90s.

And if you don't want to register to read it,

Go here.



(Damn link tool. Cut-and-paste, it's worth it: http://bugmenot.com )

Today's Ladner Story in Post

If you haven't read it already, here is today's Post story about President Ladner:

$500,000 in Ladner Spending Itemized

My thoughts:

1. The real problem about coming to a conclusion about this story is that it is being driven almost fully by the anti-Ladner crowd. I'm not saying that there aren't issues here, but telling me that $44,000 over three years was spent on alcohol really tells me nothing. In some respects, all these stories have been the classic hit piece - "shocking" facts designed to embarass with no context and no real chance for defense by Ladner (whom I'm sure can't because of the investigation).

The reporter also does the story a particular disservice by bringing up the questions about his salary - sure it relates to whether he could afford to do the things that he maybe shouldn't have charged the university, but the reporter (and whoever is feeding this to the reporter) is surely using it as a way to poison the well against Ladner. The question isn't whether he deserves the salary - it's whether he misspent university funds.

2. That said, Ladner definitely bears responsibility for at least putting himself in this position - he should have been more aware of the image problems posed by having a chef and chauffeur and all that. And if he charged an engagement party to AU, that's pretty bad.

3. However, there are other problems as well. First off, the story reports that to itemize $500,000 in possibly unacceptable spending AU has had to spend $1,000,000. $1,000,000! So AU is spending two dollars for every $1 in questionable spending. Who is negotiating these contracts - the federal government?

4. I think some attention and criticism should be directed at the Board of Directors. While Ladner would deserve criticism and penalties if he has taken advantage of his position, who has been minding the store? Why is this the first audit in ten years? This trustee Paul Wolff whose letter "somehow" made it into the Post has no standing to complain in my opinion - why didn't he exercise his oversight before now? A real dereliction of duty, I say. No matter the outcome, the Board has clearly been asleep at the wheel.

I'm sure there are more stories to come and I will be interested to see the outcome. Ultimately, there are real problems with how this is being played out in the press, IMHO.

A lost opportunity...

I dunno, since both teams and their fans annoy me, I was kinda hoping the stadium would implode or something. Even that wouldn't have been an optimal outcome since the Redskin fanbase would be more or less unscathed.

14-2, 3-0

That's 14 of the last 16 against the Skins, and 3 Super Bowls to NONE in the last 13 years. How 'bout them Cowboys!!!!!!!

Piling on

Yeah, suck it, Cowboys fans.

Wow

Mark Brunell. 0-13 come behind victory. That was fan-freaking-tastic.

Jose Weinbergo

The one who always reminds me of Señor Weinbergo is Dave Chappelle. No, really. Watch a few episodes of Chappelle Show. Besides being hysterical, I think it's Jose at times.

Prison Break

Do any of you watch Prison Break on Fox (I think it may be up against Monday Night Footbal)? At least take a look at the commercials. I swear that the main character is Jose Weinbergo, the non-union hispanic equivalent of our very own Joe Weinberg. Not only does he look like Joe, but the way he speaks and acts and everything is so like Joe that it's eerie.

speaking of rupture

Don't you just love google, for bringing us great logo art like this?

Ouch

Having your appendix rupture sucks. Goddamnit.

Frightening realization that I should just embrace

This one hit me last night.

A little bit, at first, as I was running across sprinting yard toward the house, swatting and yelling "Ooooh! Aaagh! Owwww! Bees! Ahhh!"

And then, a little more clearly as I ran back out of the house and through the swarm of angry bees to retrieve my beer and scuttle back into the house.

But everything really fell into place as I nursed my pride and wounded ankles: I'm becoming Homer.

I guess I should just go with it.

Speaking of Responsible Journalism

Is that...? Could it be...?



That's right, from the same article. I can't make this up.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Washington Post, Saturday, September 3: Rumors Send Panicked Residents to the Pump

You might wonder - how did these rumors get started?

Maybe this is the answer:

Washington Post, Friday, September 2: Gas Stations Run Dry (headline from Front Page)

Nice, responsible journalism. Way to go, Post!

Least Surprising Headline Ever

Suge Knight Shot at Miami Beach Party.

The French Are Jealous Bitches....

'nuff said.

Rome is for beating gypsies....

No, Renkey, I never lived in Italy...but I have visited before! Those who have not before visited may not know that Rome is a gypsy capital of Europe. The gypsies, among other things, train their children as professional pickpockets. Over Christmas of 1991, my family and I toured Rome under the tutelage of a long-time guide.

He had grown so sick of his tour groups being victimized by the gypsy children that he developed a habit of smacking the bejesus of any who approached the tour group. On several occasions, I witnessed him suddenly leaving off in the middle of a sentence (about some ancient artifact or other), sprint to the back of the group, and whack the hell out of some small, dirty child who had been on the verge of lifting someone's wallet. Then he would turn to the group and say, "It seems terrible, but you have to do this, or they'll steal you blind."

Funny because it's true.

Beating a dead horse until its ribs are squishy

Hey Chappy, since you lived all over the world growing up (especially in former Axis countries), did you ever live in Italy? Just wondering...

I'm already warming up the anecdote machine....

Anyone with any special requests for items from Italy should make them known soon, for on 12 September, I depart for a week of barolo wine, agnolotti pasta, and surprisingly good beer in northern Italy. Did I mention I'll be staying at the Le Meridien Lingotto hotel, formerly known as the Fiat auto factory -- complete with testing track still on the roof? Sweet................

Wherethehellismatt?

While continuing a meme on livejournal, I came across an interesting page: Where the hell is Matt?

Read his about page first. But the money shot is here.

Christmas present

I think I found Josh's next Christmas present (no, not for his penis):

WiFi Speed Spray

Lamer than Berendzen

From The Chronicle of Higher Education

Thursday, August 4, 2005

http://chronicle.com/daily/2005/08/2005080401n.htm

American U. Investigates Improper Spending, Possibly by Its President

By PAUL FAIN


Washington

American University's governing board has begun an audit of possible improper expenses charged by an unspecified university department, according to a written statement issued by university officials. The inquiry allegedly focuses on American's president, Benjamin Ladner, according to a report published on Wednesday in The Washington Post.

The Post's article, citing an anonymous letter to the newspaper and an anonymous source with "firsthand knowledge" of the investigation, said Mr. Ladner had charged the university over the past five years for various personal expenses, including vacations and gifts for family members.

Several members of the university's governing board also received copies of an anonymous letter that questioned "certain expenses in one department of the university," a university spokesman said in a written statement, which was distributed on Monday in a campus newsletter. After receiving the letter, the board hired a law firm and external auditors to review the department's "personal and travel expenses."

However, the spokesman, David E. Taylor, did not specify which department was being investigated. It was unclear if the anonymous letters to the board and to the newspaper had come from the same source, or if the anonymous source interviewed by the newspaper might have written the letters.

"The review and any wrongdoing discovered will not affect the university's strong financial position," the university spokesman wrote. University officials were not available for further comment.

Mr. Ladner was hired as American's president in 1994. His arrival followed a turbulent period for the university's chief executives, most notably with the 1990 resignation of Richard Berendzen, who stepped down in the wake of news reports that obscene telephone calls had been traced to him (The Chronicle, May 16, 1990).



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another Article

The Rafael Palmeiro saga - ESPN's Jayson Stark says he should still go into the Hall of Fame because, among other reasons:

Gaylord Perry won 300 games in an age when 300 wins didn't mean what it did when Old Hoss Radborn did it, either. But it was still enough wins to make ol' Gaylord a Hall of Famer -- even though he might have been the most proud and famous "cheater" in the history of modern sports.
Baseball didn't seem to care if Gaylord Perry cheated for two solid decades. In fact, everyone mostly seemed to find it kind of amusing.
So the next thing we knew, his name was showing up on the Hall of Fame ballot. And I figured, if baseball didn't want to stop him from cheating at the time, why would a few thousand Vaseline-balls stop me from voting for him?

So because another cheater got in we have to let them all in? Why not take a stand now? What kind of moral relevance is at play here?

Article of Interest

Front page of the Post today: Iran is judged 10 years from nuclear bomb (registration required, I'm sure).

The gist of the article - the Bush Administration is hyping the threat Iran's nuclear activities pose. Why? The National Intelligence Estimate says Iran is 10 years away from the bomb.

Where else have you heard about the NIE? Oh, that's right - in all the articles about how the Administration used the NIE's conclusions about Iraq's weapons programs to take us to war there, even though it was wrong.

What a double standard. All we have heard about is how the NIE got it wrong about Iraq. Now it clearly got it right about Iran? Sorry, I'd rather take Iran seriously now, than wake up two years from now when they have the bomb.

Other insightful commentary about this article here and here.

Zeke

Something I've been meaning to tell you guys for years (Lewis likely already knows this):

If you haven't already, "pay for" some tunes by West-Coast shit-rockers Zeke. They suck -- it's like they're trying to pull off the music of NOFX, but they only have the musical talent of Jackyl.

But tunes like "Holley 750," "Hemicuda" and "Schmidt's Value Pack" are inadvertent brushes with greatness.

Or how about a funny anecdote...

...from Nanny O'Brien's.

Everybody funny.

Now you funny too.

Absolutely!

Please, by all means, continue! You should tell one from Germany.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive: Jesus Christ is Buried in Japan....

As I learned during my four years living there, Japan is full of all manner of wacky myths. I discovered one of the wackiest when I went camping with my family in a forest in northeastern Honshu. Honshu, as some of you may know, is the largest of Japan's four main islands (Hokkaido, Honshu, Kyushu, and Shikoku). In all, the nation of Japan consists of more than 2,000 islands.

Anyway, in about 1989, my family and I took a camping trip in Aomori prefecture in northeastern Honshu with some other families stationed with us at Misawa AFB. One of the families had been in Japan already for many, many years, and hence knew more about the surrounding area than anyone in my family. While sitting around the campfire one night, a member of that family asked us, "Have you ever been to Christ's burial place in Japan?" Needless to say, we were confused by the question, so he explained...

It turns out that some Japanese, especially those who are members of the Mahikari religious sect, believe that Jesus Christ (or Kirisuto in Japanese) traveled to Japan from Judea at the age of 21. After studying Shintoism for several years, he evolved his "Christian" doctrine and returned to Judea to teach it. This supposedly accounts in part for the absence of material in the Bible to describe Christ's formative years.

When he was threatened with capture and execution, Christ was saved by his twin brother, Iskiris, who volunteered to take Christ's place on the cross. Iskiris was crucified, and Christ fled to Japan, where he lived and taught to the age of 106. Iskiris' remains were disinterred many years after his death, and he and Christ were eventually buried together.

Today, the Star of David and other symbols direct tourists to two large burial mounds located outside the village of Herai. A large wooden crucifix stands between the mounds, and a sign in Japanese and English describes the myth. A small museum nearby supposedly holds Christ's Last Will and Testament.

I was intrigued by this story as a teenager, but disheartened by what I learned as an adult. Through research, I've learned that the entire myth is part of an elaborate scam woven by Yoshikazu Okada, a former Japanese Imperial Military officer who participated in the Rape of Nanking and then turned in the postwar era to using religion to preserve the worst aspects of Japanese imperialism. Among the purposes for the "Christ in Japan" myth are justification of the Holocaust (because Jews must be made to suffer for their sins and impurities); and so that Okada and then his daughter could use his leadership of the so-called Mahikari Christian religious sect to apply for and be granted (successfully) a large and valuable piece of land in the Australian province of New South Wales, for use as a "religious" reservation.

Would you like another anecdote?

OH WOW!!!

Hey Chappy, now that you've bored us with, I mean shared with us the scintillating details of your trip to Boston, could you please provide us with some anecdotes from the time you spent in Germany?

After that, some more anecdotes, this time from your time in Japan, would be nice.

Thanks.

Red Sox Weekend, Part Two

The coolest moment of the last several years for me occurred on Saturday night. The Red Sox opened Fenway to a small crowd for "Hot Stove, Cool Music" -- a concert designed to raise funds for local charities.

First, what an experience -- being one of a small # of people hanging out in Fenway after hours listening to great music -- wow, wow, wow. I was swimming in baseball shrine worship.

Second -- Mike O'Malley (aka the Rick on ESPN; aka that guy from Boston Common; aka that guy from Yes, Dear) MC'd; Peter Gammons and Theo Epstein co-hosted. Note: Mike O'Malley is damn funny. Note: Peter Gammons plays a mean guitar, sings well, and is a decent songwriter. Who would have thought the Knight of the Keyboard would be so multi-talented?!? And who would have thunk that "A Night of Love" with Peter Gammons (actually 4 tix to sit with him and talk during a game in Monster seats) would be auctioned off and garner $7000? That was just one of many cool things auctioned off. Note to self: save money for next year! Note to self: do NOT become the disturbing woman who spent $20K to spend a night in Theo Epstein's box. Yikes.

Third -- The concert featured several local Boston bands. I particularly enjoyed the following bands: a) Kay Hanley and the Dilettantes -- you may remember Kay as the lead singer of the now-defunct early 90s band, Letters to Cleo. She's hot, she's a Sox nut, and she plays a mean guitar. Mmmm, Guitar-playing Rock Goddesses who love the Sox; b) Ben Kweller, a young singer-songwriter from Austin, TX, now living and playing in Boston. Lots of fun watching him rock out and have such a good time on stage; c) Buffalo Tom -- another band having an absolutely absurd amount of fun while playing on stage -- and sounding good. Fountains of Wayne was the headlining act, but I enjoyed the others better.

Fourth -- there are no bigger rockstars in all of Boston than Bronson Arroyo and Theo Epstein. Bronson fancies himself a multi-talented fellow -- he pitches, and he covers Pearl Jam songs! Bronson's new album, consisting of covers of 90s alterna-rock songs, is currently at #10 on Amazon.com's list of most-purchased albums. Wow. Theo, GM of the Sox at the age of 30 and architect of the 2004 World Series champs, played guitar for Buffalo Tom during their set. You should have seen the women descend on Theo and Bronson afterward. Oh, how much I would pay to be them.

Finally, damn, I wish I lived where Cherie's sister did. Cherie's sister, Kristen, a first year resident surgeon at Beth Israel Deaconness Hospital in Boston, lives a 10-minute walk from Fenway Park, at Longwood Towers. Longwood Towers, built in 1924 as a "residential hotel" and once considered Boston's most luxurious hotel, is an incredible complex. It consists of 3 separate red-brick, castle-like buildings designed in the English Tudor style, connected by a "grand lobby" that looks like the Great Room of an English castle -- complete with dark, ornately carved wood, stucco ceiling, enormous fireplace, piano, and a genuine suit of armor in one corner. The apartment itself was very nice, with a turret window and cutout in the apartment, and very nice molding in very room. Did I mention it's a 10-minute walk from Fenway? Damn, I'm jealous.

Brian's Red Sox Weekend, Part One

First, where are you damn slacker posters? This is turning into the Chris and Brian Show!

Second -- I want to be Bronson Arroyo -- could there be a bigger f'in rockstar in Boston? Actually, there could be - - his name is Theo Epstein -- I want to be him, too. More on this in Part Two of my post. On with Part One....

This weekend, Cherie and I flew up to Boston for a Red Sox Weekend. I had previously procured tix to the Friday night and Saturday day games between the Sox and the Yanks, as well as the Saturday night charity concert known as "Hot Stove, Cool Music: The Fenway Sessions".

First, let me say, the Monster seats live up to the hype. They're perched right atop the Green Monster. You have a a great view of the entire field; you also have a swiveling barstool chair with a small table in front of you; you have your own beer, sausage, and ice cream stands atop the Monster; and you can drop things (preferably sharp or heavy) on Hideki Matsui's head. Nice. And the Monster Dog? It's as big as you might think. Yum.

Second, I was present for the 17-1 drubbing the Sox dropped on the Yanks. What a game. Wells pitched a gem, and the Sox hitters absolutely erupted all over Yankee pitching. Big Papi smacked a grand slam, Johnny extended his hitting streak, and all of Boston partied in the streets afterward. This more than made up for seeing the Sox drop the next game, 7-4. My record this year as a fan is 3-1. I've seen games where the Sox won 8-0 (Wells shutout), 1-0 (Clement shutout), 17-1 (Wells 5-hitter), and lost 4-7 (Clement Implosion). Not bad.

End Part 1....

Tragic day in radioland...

It's a very, very sad day for those of us who love local comedy/talk radio and the laughs which ease our sometimes stressful lives. Life has been cruelly stolen from a beautiful woman who anchored a family and one of DC's most successful radio duos -- Don and Mike.

Since I was a kid, I've been a big fan of the local comedy duo Don and Mike. I started listening to them in elementary school while my dad was stationed at the Pentagon in the mid-1980s. Don and Mike never, never failed to make me laugh.

When I came back to DC from Germany for college in 1993, I was delighted to find them on the radio dial at 106.7. In the years since, with adult life more complicated and stressful, I found the laughs they gave me more important than ever. One of the show's regular contributors was Don's wife, Freda. She and Don aired their lives publicly and often sparred for the benefit of listeners. As I grew older, they also served as something of a public role model. Don, whose real name was Mike Sorce, was an adopted kid born of drug-addled parents and raised by abusive family members -- and it was clear that he'd found in Freda and her family the kind of love and familial embrace he'd never before experienced. Despite the ups and downs that come for anyone with his family history, Freda stuck by "Don". They were married for 23 years, had one son, and any regular listener could discern beneath the veneer of radio pugilism the strong bond of love between them.

Sunday night, Don's wife, Freda, at the age of 50, was killed outside Ocean City, MD, when an SUV driver attempting to avoid a 10-car pileup swerved into oncoming traffic and struck her car head-on.

In an instant, one life was snuffed out, and others were altered, perhaps scarred, forever. For those of us who read this board who are in loving relationships -- married or no -- imagine: never holding her hand again; never hearing her laugh; never seeing her eyes sparkle; never smelling her perfume wafting on the wind; never feeling her touch. Imagine the hole left in your life. Think, and say a prayer of thanks for your good fortune, and a prayer of healing for the entire Sorce family.

Quick Thoughts?

1. Can we hear it for the Blue Deuce? Ol' Rusty Wallace (my favorite NASCAR driver, solely because he drives the Miller Lite #2 [my being pro-Miller beer]) is now 4th in championship points by 70 or so points. Which means, once the championship chase starts (the last 10 races), he'll only be 20 points behind (for a full explanation of the points system, please see www.nascar.com). Rusty has sucked for, basically, the entire time I have rooted for him. I am very pleased that in his last season he has realized that consistency is the key to winning.

2. F you Jeff Gordon.

3. Where are the m-f psosters on good'ol Maltshoplogic? I can't post from work anymore because I can't have the FBI busting down my door. What's your excuse?

4. I have yet to sell out to Live Journal.

5. Has the Malt Shop gotten cheaper? $33 on Saturday night?!?

6. Who will give me $10,000 to play in the World Series of Poker?

Headshaker, Cont.

Check out the internal logical inconsistency of the following statement from the same chat:

Boston, Mass.: Will Bush consult with other justices on the Supreme Court about who to appoint?

Karen O'Connor: The presidents, as a rule, never discuss such issues with the other justices. It is a precedent that was set by George Washington. This is not to say, however, that it has never happened.

So they "never" discuss it, but that's not to say that it's "never" happened? Er, what?

It's a headshaker

Read the transcript of AU Professor Karen O'Connor's chat on washingtonpost.com yesterday. Among the gems:

Washington, D.C.: Is there any hope that I will not lose my right to choose?
Karen O'Connor: DC is a particularly vulnerable place since the Republican Congress can legislate for the district.

And:

Karen O'Connor: I. too received calls this morning. I was told that she was resigning by some Court insiders last week, so I guess that I was prepared. I don't think we are likely to go back to the 1770s, but 1960s, in terms of women's rights, aren't too much of a stretch.

How divorced from reality can a tenured professor be? I never took a class from this nutbag at AU, and I don't think I missed out.

Quadra-fecta...

Is it even a word? I don't know. But it describes the near-perfect baseball evening that occurred today...most of which I witnessed via the miracle of MLB Extra Innings:

1. My favorite National League team, the NL East-leading Washington Nationals, beat Toronto, 3-0, bettering their record to 43-30 and maintaining a 4-game lead in the NL East over the Atlanta Braves.
2. My favorite team of all time, the defending World Series Champion Boston Red Sox, beat the Philadelphia Phillies 8-0, dropping the Phillies further behind the Nats (4.5 games ) in the NL East...and vaulting the Sox back into first place in the AL East because...
3. The Atlanta Braves beat the Baltimore Orioles, 7-5, dropping the Orioles .5 games behind the Red Sox. Last time I posted, the Sox were 3 games over .500. Now they're 12 games over .500. And Manny's getting hot, and Curt is coming back...the rest of the AL should be afraid -- very afraid.
4. The Yankees lose their 3rd consecutive home game, this time 6-4 to the Mets -- this drops the Yankees 5.5 games back of the BoSox -- and let's face it -- this is good because no one really expects the Orioles to be contending with the Red Sox for 1st place in the AL East in September -- so the further the Yankees have to climb, the better.

What a great night of baseball.

Just so we're clear

The verdict of a California jury notwithstanding, it is still not a good idea to send your kids to Neverland Ranch.

I guess I must now admit...

...that the ChiSox are for real. Two weeks into June, they're 42-20 -- 22 games above .500. My Sox? A woeful 33-29, 3 games above .500. Two pieces of good news, though. First, my BoSox are only 3 games out of first in the AL East. Second, the future is bright. I had the opportunity to attend a AA baseball game in Bowie, MD, Saturday night, beween the Bowie Baysox (Orioles) and the Portland Sea Dogs (Red Sox). Some of the Red Sox' brightest prospects are on the Sea Dogs. This includes pitcher Jon Papelbon, a fireballer who threw 8 innings of 2-hit shutout ball -- and when he left at the end of the 8th, he was still throwing 94-95 mph. Sweet!

Minor League ball...

For anyone who is interested...one of my subordinates has a husband who plays first base for the AA Bowie Baysox. Consequently, she has nearly unlimited access to free tix. If anyone is ever interested in going to a Baysox game, let me know, and I'll put your name on the list. The only downside is that you'd have to go with me...........

Deep Throat

So, Deep Throat has been revealed - by Vanity Fair. The amazing thing is not, as Ben Bradlee put it, that his identity stayed secret for so long, it's that the Washingtonian - the Washingtonian! - was so right about the identity in 1974 (via Achenblog).

Undercover Brother

This is both amazing, and hysterical. A few snippets from the article:

The 7-foot-1, 325-pound center was recently sworn in as a U.S. deputy marshal . . .  "I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet," O'Neal said recently.

Once my laughter subsided at the idea of ole' Shaq doing anything undercover ("I dunno, jefe. He looks like Shaq . . ."), I came to this brilliant piece of understatement from Miami Beach Police Chief De Lucca:

"He'd be a great undercover guy. Obviously, we're not going to send him out to buy dope, but he can do surveillance, he can do Internet crimes."

Again, laughter aside, I'm always impressed with this guy. He's the kind of guy I'd like to buy a beer. Sweet, sweet beer . . .

Hey-ooooo!

Political humor - that is actually funny.

Ich bin ein deutscher E-mail Benutzer, der E-mail von jedermann öffnet.

Oh silly Germans, your Sober Q virus so crazy!

Best. Website. Ever.

Seriously.

Hoaxes

"Unfortunately" was the correct word to use. I didn't mention it as I'd like to think that this group of intelligent men would notice that it's allegedly a BBC article not hosted at bbc.co.uk.

Hoax

Unfortunately, the 42 midgets versus the lion fight thing is a hoax.

RE: Castillo/Corrales

Meh. Here's a better fight: Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring Fight.

Castillo/Corrales

Anyone else see this fight?

For those of you that have Showtime they've been re-running it.

One of the best boxing matches, if not the best boxing match, I've ever seen.

05/07/05 - Haiku Day

Hoffman 400.
Padres better than the Cubs.
Best look out, BoSox.

This horrible attempt at haiku has been brought to you by the lack of season tickets.

In defense of the White Sox

You play who you play. This ain't college football, where you fatten up on the creampuffs of the world before your conference play. We will see how they do in the coming weeks, but they can only beat who is on their schedule.

Unfortunately for the Red Sox, though, the White Sox aren't the only team that gets to play all those bad teams so many times. The Twins do too, which means either team has a good chance at running up enough wins to get the Wild Card.

So your Red Sox better get their act together to catch them Os.

Am I the Only One...

...who believes the Chicago White Sox are COUNTERFEIT?! Much is being made of their 21-7 start, but let us examine them a bit more closely....

Of the six opponents they've faced in series so far, only 1 has a record better than .500. They've played a grand total of 5 games out of 28 against teams with better than .500 records.

The combined record of the teams they've faced is 71-94.

The two teams they've played the most -- 6 times each -- the no-account Indians and sorry Royals -- have a combined record of 18-38. The Royals are 7-21. Talk about padding the early schedule.

But things are about to get harder. During the rest of the month of May, the White Sox will play 19 of 25 games against teams with records above .500.

If they're still 14 games above .500 on June 1, then we can talk about them being a legitimate contender to make the playoffs. But NOT until then.

Tonight on "The Ocho"

Circle Jerk of the Gridiron Stars.

On My Mind

1. It's a lot easier to post to a blog when you know for sure work isn't monitoring your computer use. The new job has all these "rules" and "regulations" about computer use, as well as a cadre of employees to ferret out inappropriate use that may or may not include blogger. Let's just assume for now that blogger is not appropriate.

2. Memo to ESPN: you can't make me watch college sports that suck. Yes I am talking about college baseball and, especially, softball.

3. Observation from the Metro - what's with wheeled luggage taking the place of briefcases? They get in my way, and slow me down when people have to drag them up the broken escalators. I saw one person last week with the wheeled briefcase, a big purse, and lunch bag. What could they possibly have in the luggage?

4. Why would a host ask you to take off your shoes to enter the house, then allow a dog owned by someone else to run free in said house even after walks outside on a wet night?

5. They cleaned up RFK pretty nice for baseball, but that was a weak turnout last night for the game. Very empty.

6. Free Tim Fudd!

Fudd...

I hear there still hasn't been a bigger dick in Hughes Hall since he left...

It IS our Tim Fudd!

Check out the link below -- Channel 4 posted Tim's picture with the story. NICE!

http://www.nbc4.com/news/4417006/detail.html

Poker? I Hardly Know Her!

I made a realization the other night in what has become a fairly regular poker game for the office. The same thing happened in all of our nights that happened in DC. I get tired. And when I get tired, I quit caring and start trying to bluff every hand and betting on everything.

Lesson? Quit starting so late at night.

Is this our Tim Fudd?

The link below sends you to an article about one Timothy D. Fudd, 31, a "resource teacher" at Chantilly's Westfield High School -- who was arrested after having a loaded handgun in his trunk while parked at the high school.

Could this be our Tim Fudd, basketball player and squirrel killer? I bet it is.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/04/26/AR2005042601357.html

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!

Some times I hate working with government customers. Damn donkeys.

Wilbon's Response

So Close and I went to the Wizards-Celtics game the first week of April. During a break in the action, the Wiz trotted out the "Senior Dance Team" -- composed of senior citizens dressed in black trying not to break a hip while breakin' some moves. Since Chris and I had a view of the press box from our seats, the best part was watching the journalists contort in fear and disgust -- including Chicagoan/Washingtonian Michael Wilbon. I posted a question today during one of his live chats at the Washington Post online, and I've posted his response as well....

Arlington, Va.: Mike:
How do you think the activation of Brendan Haywood will improve the ability of the Wizards to advance past the first round of the playoffs and do some damage in later rounds? And, how'd you like that Senior Dance Team during the Celts-Wizards game? Could see you and Aldridge from my seat in Section 102 and thought I saw you frozen in fear!

Michael Wilbon: I say "frozen in fear" about sums it up! Brendan Haywood, if he can give the Wizards 8-10 points and 9-10 rebounds per game it will give the Wiz a huge advantage over the Bulls, their likely first-round opponent. I like the way Haywood has come along this season. I really, really, really like the way he has played. I like the way he got in Kwame's face on that west coast trip...He could factor in very large in the first round, especially since the Bulls are without Eddy Curry. And against Miami, clearly Haywood's contribution is critical.

Hilariously, yes:

"4-lb. frozen rack of grass-fed lamb" and "Milwaukee Sawzall"

[IMG]http://www.milwaukeeconnect.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/met/html/images/mediumprod/6519-22.jpg[/IMG]

Quick Thoughts

1. I'm pretty sure the T-North Bird Lady was on my bus on the way home today. Frighteningly, she got off the stop before me.

2. It's Day 8 of Chris Close Held Hostage - 8 days into my new job, still no phone (and probably not one for another few weeks) and still no logon for my computer. Tough to do my job without a computer. On the plus side, I have read several books.

3. There are now two hours of TV worth viewing every week - Sunday 8-9, Simpsons and Arrested Development, and Tuesday 9-10, Scrubs and The Office.

4. Ye Olde Malt Shoppe and Friday - are there sweeter words in the English language?

My Cut

I'll pass on my cut this year. I'll just charge for the info next year after maltshoplogic has converted to a pay site. Um, yeah, that's going to happen.

However, I am pleased that you all have won some money. My Dad even won two pools with the ASM, I believe Brian won one, and I think Lewis was going to finish in the money in one. At least I didn't lead you all astray.

A cut for Chris?

ASM... pretty good method. I finished 4th, 4th (argh!) and 2nd in my 3 pools --

The worse of the 4th-place finishes was my annual SU "homer" pool (gotta go for it, even tho I knew SU was gonna suck in this tourney), picked everything else by ASM. Wasn't really even close to being in the money, but the competition was weak.

The near-miss (tied for 3rd but lost tiebreaker on final-game total score, by 3 lousy points) was picked by a combo of ASM and personal opinion. Oklahoma State's crap-out (In my mind a tournament-tough team with the goods to beat any team on any night of the NCAAs) really hurt me in that one. Wake's loss hurt me too, but damn, that was such a great game I really didn't mind that much.

The in-the-money finish was picked with probably 75% adherence to ASM, not counting the 1st-round games where ASM just didn't seem like it could possibly be accurate. My brackets were hosed, hard, after the first 4 days of play. But so were everyone else's. Seemed like the only teams making it out of the first weekend for me were final four teams -- 3 of them, my 4th was Wake. 3 of 4 final 4s, picking both semifinal games correctly and picking the championship correctly -- and, I might add, predicting the final score to within one point -- is going to be worth a nice little wad of cash.

And no, Chris doesn't get a cut. But he does get the satisfaction of knowing that his _fighting,_ and I mean _fighting_ Illini, played some of the most breathtaking, tough ball of the season in this tourney.

Postscript illustrating my boss' boss' way with words:

She's the former chancellor at Illinois. You may remember when she got run out of town on a rail over the Chief Illiniwek flap

Anyway, we've set her up to meet regularly with the editorial board of the local daily paper. In Monday's meeting, as it was wrapping up, one of the sports eds. asks her, laughing, "so, you going to be wearing orange tonight watching the game?"

She frowns snaps back, "No, you know who I'll be rooting for. I'll be wearing Carolina blue." Nice commentary on the kids that were recruited and coached under her tenure, don't you think?

Anyway, it was dutifully reported on p. 1 of the Post-Standard yesterday. As a PR guy it means bad news. But honestly, I kinda got a kick out of it.

NCAA Tourney

Sorry your Illini couldn't bring home the championship, Chris. I must however state that since UNC won, and I'd picked them in one of my two brackets, that I wound up finishing 2nd in my office pool, a mere 2 points behind the winner...2nd Place paid 20% of the total entries, which wound up being $46.

Poker Tourney Review

So I played in the poker tournament Friday that Towner's roommate hosted. They had 28 players total, which was a nice size, and I finished 12th, which was three players from the final table. Here are my thoughts on the tourney:

1. First of all, the quality of play was higher. Consider the first hand of the night - nine players at the table, folded all the way around to the small blind. In our tournaments, there would have been at least three callers. Overall these guys played good hands and bet aggressively - there was no seeing the river or turn on the cheap.

2. Second of all, I had five playable hands all night. They were this:

• K-Qo that I raised twice the big blind from late position. Got called by the big blind. Flopped nothing, big blind checked, I tried to push him out of the pot, got called, turn came, he bet into me and I had to fold with nothing.
• 10-10 that I raised twice the big blind, got one caller, flopped the set. Caller checked to me, I checked. Turn came with blanks, caller checked, I bet and he folded.
• K-K I raised pre-flop, everyone folded.
• A-Ko I raised pre-flop, everyone folded (and one of the folders who was shuffling that deck afterwards looked at the cards - he thought secretly - which pisses me off even now).
• A-10o, which I pushed all in on from the big blind. There were two callers of the big blind, the blinds were 10-15, which were more than 1/3 of my stack at the time (with only six players at the table so they were coming around fast), and I felt like I needed to make a move. Of course, I get called by 9-9 who hits the set on the flop.

I had nothing else all night. Not even a crap hand that I folded that would have turned into the nuts. Five playable hands in 2.5 hours. That's a total of 8 playable poker hands in my last 7 hours of play. I can hold out for a while, but with no cards, what can you do.

3. While the quality of the play was good, the etiquette of the players was not particularly good. For example, the guy above who looked at my cards. It appeared that most of these guys were internet gamblers who never had to do things themselves, but thought they knew it all.

4. Yay to better players, nay to poor etiquette. Yay to lasting as long as I did with crap, nay for not finishing in the money.

5. Go Illini!

Funniest. Blog. Ever....

Click, then beg forgiveness from the Lord....

http://durrrrr.blogspot.com/

Brackets

Have to say I'm pretty pleased how the ASM worked out this year. Three out of four Final Four teams ain't so bad.

In my pool, if Louisville wins on Saturday, I'll finish second no matter what. If Illinois wins, I can't finish in the money. Since I want Illinois to win, it's time to kick the ASM to the curb. F you Louisville.

Anyway, two years of use, 6 of 8 Final Four teams identified. Pretty good. Clearly, the ASM is not terribly predictive in the first two rounds, but I'd rather have three Final Four teams than all 32 first round games right.

Biggest Mistake Ever

One can get away without serious drinking, but to declare such a feat beforehand? Son, that's just foolish.

Two Topics in One Post

1) My two NCAA brackets are currently 2nd and 5th out of about 40-50 entries in my office pool. Looks like the highest I can hope to get is 2nd with either of them, though.

2) Josh...No serious drinking? Hah. Two words for ya'...

K.....


Kn....C


Kn...Cr....


K N O B C R E E K!!!!*


*And I've only heard the stories...

Oh, Josh...

"I foresee no serious drinking on my part...."

Foolish, foolish Josh. Thou shouldst not profess such intentions in the public sphere.

Thou knowest not when thou may become an unwitting victim of the busy hands of evil...especially Malt Shoppe brand EEEEVILLLLLLLL........

Malt Shop

Contrary to rumors travelling around the aether, Liverfest 2005 is still on. At least, I'm going to be there. Friday, April 15, Drinking Hour, live at the Malt Shop.

Personally, I'm going for the atmosphere and the company. I don't foresee any serious drinking by yours truly. The rest of you can play by your own rules.

ILL-

ILL-

Bwahahahaha

Duke...[Nelson Voice] Ha, ha! [/Nelson Voice]

I'm still very much alive in my pool as well, especially thanks to that dodgy traveling call in the UNC - Villanova game. But hey, I guess the ASM predicted that too, right Chris? ;) I kid, I kid. In selecting my brackets, a used sort of a combo of the RPI and the ASM (plus the good ol' gut instinct). I'd usually pick the team with the better RPI if the ASM was close. I love the heterodox approach. Early on, things weren't looking so good (I guess they weren't for a lot of people), but now I'm doing pretty well.

Sunday is a great sports day...The NCAA games, plus U.S. vs. Mexico in a World Cup Qualifier.

Stayin' Alive...

I picked almost 100% down the line using Chris' ASM metric. By doing that, despite the unbelievable upsets last week, I have retained 10 of my Sweet 16, 5 of my Elite 8, and all of my Final Four picks. Let's hope UNC and Louisville continue their dominance and Illinois and Duke pick it up a little bit. ILL-INI!

How's your bracket doing?

If you followed the ASM, you're still alive. That's more than a lot of people can say, especially those of you who foolishly picked Wake Forest, Georgia Tech, Kansas, or Syracuse to go to the Final Four, or even win the thing. Still a long way to go, but it's better to be in it at this point than out of it.

Other observations:

• That Wake Forest-West Virginia game was as entertaining a basketball game as I have seen in a while.
• I never understood why so many people thought Syracuse was going to the Final Four. They were the same team they were all year - two excellent players, but capable of being shut down with no one else to pick up the slack.
• Same for Georgia Tech - BJ Elder may have been back, but he wasn't exactly doing much.
• If you watched just basketball, you might have missed a great finish at the NASCAR race yesterday - Carl Edwards wins by .002 seconds on a last quarter lap pass of Jimmie Johnson. Truly awesome.
• For us ASM folks, Duke is truly the shakiest of our final four picks, UNC the strongest. Illinois and Louisville each has one tough game to go (AZ or Ok St. for Illinois, Washington for Louisville).

Patriot League Represents During a Night of Insanity...

Kansas and Syracuse are out. Bucknell and Vermont are in. WHAT?

Mixed Results

So, the ASM left us 10 for 16 after the first day. Not so good. That Creighton game was a crusher, and Utah State was a damn tease.

I checked my results for the first round last year and only went 24 for 32. So, this isn't out of the ordinary.

Most important, we have all 8 elite eight teams still left, all 4 final four teams left and so on. That's what we're looking for.

Back on Track

ASM leads us to 4 for 4 in the late afternoon games.

Lots of ASM-testers tonight, especially with 4 games in the always dangerous 6-11, 7-10, 8-9 range and the ASM upset special of Utah State (can't believe I really went with that).

Recommended Reading

By the way, this is a hilarious series of articles. This espn.com writer is living at different campuses during the tournament. He starts at Illinois. Here are the first three installments:

Fountain of Youth

Tigger Karaoke

Drinking in the Orange

After the first 4 games...

Ok, the ASM is not looking very strong. Only two for four.

But remember, the ASM is about keeping your final four teams alive and identifying a champion. So let's not panic...yet.

Your 2005 ASMs

Following up on my post from last week, I have posted below the adjusted scoring margins for all the 2005 NCAA tournament field (except for the 16 seeds, to whom I have assigned a 0 as in their chances of winning a game).

As you can see, my final four teams will be Louisville, Duke, Illinois, and North Carolina.

Obviously this whole system is not foolproof. I think Louisville and Duke are the most likely not to make it, but I'm going to follow the numbers.

For the Final Four, I am going to pick Illinois over UNC for the title (except for pools where I can do two entries where I will also pick UNC over Illinois). While I am being a bit of a homer here (ok, maybe a lot of a homer), the ASM does not take into account the true homecourt advantage that Illinois will have not only in Indianapolis and Chicago, but St. Louis as well.

A couple other points:

• Utah State has an ASM of 15.2 in the Chicago region, which if you follow the numbers exactly would put them into the Sweet 16. Obviously this seems far-fetched and having viewed Utah State's schedule, that number is probably inflated by weak-ass opponents. I haven't decided whether I will follow the numbers there.
• Unlike last year, these figures don't suggest huge upsets (outside of Utah State). Last year I had Syracuse and Maryland losing in the first round based on the ASM. Both games were extremely close, but did not come through.
• If you follow the ASM, do not expect 100% success. The keys to winning NCAA tournament pools are: 1) picking the winner, 2) having the right final four teams, 3) keeping as many teams alive in the tourney for as long as you can. That's what the ASM is good at (hopefully).

Good luck. We'll review how the ASM is doing after each weekend.

ASM - Albuquerque Region

Louisville (4) - 20.1
Wake Forest (2) - 15.5
Washington (1) - 15.1
Georgia Tech (5) - 12.2
Texas Tech (6) - 12.1
Gonzaga (3) - 12.0
Pittsburgh (9) - 11.5
George Washington (12) - 10.0
Pacific (8) - 9.7
Creighton (10) - 8.0
West Virginia (7) - 6.7
LA-Lafayette (13) - 6.0
Winthrop (14) - 5.9
UCLA (11) - 4.6
Chattanooga (15) - 3.4

ASM - Austin Region

Duke (1) - 18.6
Oklahoma (3) - 16.4
Michigan State (5) - 15.7
Kentucky (2) - 15.2
Cincinnatti (7) - 14.7
Syracuse (4) - 13.3
Utah (6) - 12.5
Vermont (13) - 10.9
Iowa (10) - 9.7
UTEP (11) - 9.5
Mississippi State (9) - 9.1
Old Dominion (12) - 8.7
Niagara (14) - 5.7
Stanford (8) - 4.9
E. Kentucky (15) - 1.7

ASM - Chicago Region

Illinois (1) - 18.9
Oklahoma State (2) - 17.6
Utah State (14) - 15.2
Alabama (5) - 14.9
Arizona (3) -12.0
Texas (8) - 11.8
Boston College (4) - 10.6
Nevada (9) - 9.5
So. Illinois (7) - 9.2
UW-Milwaukee (12) - 8.9
UAB (11) - 8.6
LSU (6) - 7.9
St. Mary's CA (10) - 7.6
Penn (13) - 7.3
SE Louisiana (15) - 5.0

ASM - Syracuse Region

Here are the Syracuse Region ASM's:

North Carolina (1) - 21.9
Florida (4) - 17.7
Kansas (3) - 15.8
Connecticut (2) - 15.3
Villanova (5) - 14.6
Wisconsin (6) - 11.5
New Mexico (12) - 10.9
NC State (10) - 10.5
Minnesota (8) - 8.7
Charlotte (7) - 7.7
Iowa State (9) - 6.4
Bucknell (14) - 6.1
Ohio (13) - 4.2
Central Florida (15) - 2.1

Starscream

I actually generally concur with your assessment of Starscream as a "first-rate pussy." What I appreciated was how he was always trying to bring down Megatron from the inside.

However, I will point out that maybe the real weakness of the Decepticons was that they were run like the federal government. Take Starscream - he's doesn't get the job done, is openly hostile to leadership, but is never fired. Damn unions.

So, umm...yeah

Am I the only one who's secretly hoping Chappy continues to get the run-around from Comcast? I find the mental picture I get of him slowly reaching the boiling point amusing.

.


.

Anyways, Transformers, wow...They represented my life in fourth and fifth grades. I wish I'd kept all the ones I had. The Decepticons were always way cooler. Have to disagree about Starscream, though, Chris. He was a first-rate pussy. I remember going to see the movie and thinking how awesome it was that they said "damn" and I think even "shit."

Comcast Update...

...so after my rant yesterday, I contacted Comcast via phone again, hoping against hope to receive some useful information/assistance. I was told by "Sharon" that the MLB Extra Innings package would be available for purchase next week for $149.

Simultaneously, I e-mailed "Comcast Customer Care" about MLB Extra Innings...and received the following response:

"First, I would like to apologize for the inconclusive responses you have received. I am pleased to inform you that the MLB package is now available for purchase in the Arlington, VA area. Listed below is the pricing information."

So, in communications with Comcast, I've now received something like six different answers about its availability in the last week. I plan to call later today to see if I can actually purchase the package today. Keep your fingers crossed....

Oh. My. God.

Optimus Prime, dead from prostate cancer.

(First saw this linked to on The Corner.)

I'll be able to get over this, in large part due to the fact that I am 29 years old. However, I am still pissed that Prowl, the first transformer I owned, was killed in the Transformers movie - in approximately the first 30 seconds.

I was also partial to Starscream on the Decepticons.

RANT -- Why I Hate Comcast Part 504...

So, spring training is in full swing, and we are merely 3 weeks and change from Opening Day. For displaced baseball fans around the country, it's time to seek out opportunities to watch their hometown team.

Fortunately, both satellite and cable companies offer MLB Extra Innings, which brings up to 60 games per week into a viewing household, including just about every Red Sox game.

But if you live in Arlington County, home to the Comcast monopoly, and have a house that doesn't face south, getting MLB Extra Innings is like getting teeth pulled without novocaine.

At their online sites, both Dish Network and DirecTV offer information about MLB Extra Innings, including online ordering, accessible within 3 clicks of the mouse from their main page. Comcast offers no readily available information about the package (or any subscription package for that matter). Why? The Comcast site is built purely for prospective customers and is designed to funnel them only into two processes: Order New Cable Service or Order new Internet Service. And it even does that badly, providing little information about its services along the way.

I only found MLB Extra Innings at Comcast by using the Search function on the main page. Even then, the results provided me with no actual information about the package, instead funneling me back into the Order New Cable process, telling me that the best way to order MLB Extra Innings was to order Comcast Digital Gold -- which is in fact not true -- it's still an ala carte subscription package that can be ordered with any of Comcast's Digital packages (Plus/Silver/Gold). Though I have service, I even went through all the wickets to see if after ordering a cable service, I could order a la carte subscription packages like MLB Extra Innings. Answer: NOPE.

So, I abandoned the online ordering and called Comcast. BIG MISTAKE. I have received several different answers from Comcast Call Center employees. They range from, "We don't have any information about that," to "It's not available," to "It will be available for purchase April 4th." This is the same call center that forced me to hold my phone up to the TV and let them listen to CNN when I called to upgrade to digital cable 5 years ago and they replied that I couldn't upgrade because I didn't have any existing service to upgrade!

THE SEASON BEGINS APRIL 3RD. If you were a for-profit company that made a lot of money selling a la carte subscriptions on top of regular service, would you not even begin selling a sports subscription package until after that sport's season had begun??? I think not, which leads me to another point.

Comcast's call center is a black hole of uselessness, and it angers me to the point of violence. I want to go to the call center and burn it down.

The truth probably is that MLB Extra Innings is available right now, but either the people manning the phones are morons or the managers providing them with information are morons. Probably, both suppositions are true.

Comcast sucks, sucks, sucks. And you know what -- I blame the government. If it had authorized 5 companies to provide service a decade or more ago, this wouldn't still be happening. Competition would drive better products and better customer service. But instead, local government kept the cable monopoly in place until the telco downturn began in 2000. And then, it offered only one new company -- Starpower, which is just emerging from Chapter 11 as a result of the telco downturn -- the opportunity to provide service. Starpower has not implemented service to this day. As a result, Comcast remains the protected sole cable service provider, and it continues to SUCK.

Um, no

Here's the lede from one of the Chicago Tribune's articles on Illinois' loss yesterday:

"They returned home to Champaign humiliated."

Let me respectfully disagree. While that was not the worst I had seen Illinois play this year, it was the least interested. And I'm still waiting for Deron Williams to play defense on that guy who hit the winning three pointer and all the other shots during the game (I believe his previous best game was 7 points - yesterday he scored 25).

Illinois wasn't exposed. They didn't shoot well at all, but they did rebound pretty well (a supposed weakness). Two Ohio State big guys (Dials and that Sylvester guy) scored a bunch of points, but only Dials did in the post (a supposed Illinois weakness), while Sylvester did it by driving to the basket and hitting outside shots (facilitated by lackadaisical defense).

No humiliation. Just a bad game.

RE: ASM

It's true what you say about statistics, and the ASM does, I believe, have to be taken with a grain of salt.

For example, Louisville had a very high ASM last year as well, but because the ASM is developed over an entire year, it doesn't fully penalize a team when they are playing poorly as the Cardinals were at the end of last year. I would have more faith in them this year because they are actually playing well for a change at the end of the year.

Similarly, Cincy had a high ASM last year, but Cincy was a fraud based on their weak schedule (note: I believe Duke will be this year's Cincinnati - high ASM, but built on a weak schedule). While the ASM is supposed to account for schedule differences, I do think it can be inflated.

Anyway, it's an interesting tool that I'm going to use again. We'll see if it works again.

ASM

Interesting post about the ASM, Chris. Of course, there are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

P.S.- Louisville? [Nelson Voice] Ha, ha! [/Nelson Voice]

NCAA Basketball Tournament Help

After years of futility in NCAA basketball tournament pools (before last year, the only time I was competitive was in 1990), I decided to let the numbers do the deciding for me.

So, I calculated something called Adjusted Scoring Margin (ASM) for each NCAA tournament team. What is ASM? Well that donkey bracketologist at ESPN developed the idea. According to that article, it has been very predictive of Final Four teams over the past five years.

Here were my top 2004 ASM calculations by region (with actual Final Four team in parentheses):

Atlanta – Duke, 19.0 (Duke)
East Rutherford – Oklahoma State, 17.7 (Oklahoma State)
Phoenix – Connecticut, 18.3 (Connecticut)
St. Louis – Gonzaga, 17.3 (Georgia Tech)

So, the only one that was off was Gonzaga, but, interestingly, the second highest ASM in the St. Louis bracket was 14.4 by…Georgia Tech.

Basically what I did last year was pick every game in the bracket by which team had the higher ASM. While this did not mean I got 100% of the games right, it did keep my Final Four teams alive. (I also deviated from it once I got to the Final Four because I thought UConn was simply better than Duke.) As result, I won two pools, finished second in another and sixth in another (would have won them all if Georgia Tech hadn't kept winning).

I know what you’re saying. Any monkey could have made those Final Four choices. Well not this guy. For one, it made me pick against Illinois. For another, I didn’t get trapped by Kentucky or Stanford. So I now have faith in the almighty ASM.

I’ve just started putting together some ASM calculations for this year. I will post the numbers once the conference tourneys wrap up (I’m all for openness, especially since I don’t compete in pools against you). However, based on early numbers, UNC, Louisville, Oklahoma State, and Illinois are looking pretty solid.

Answer: Fenway Park

Question: Where will Brian be on Saturday, July 16th?

So a few months ago, the Red Sox cashed in on the obsessive loyalty of its fan base by creating "Official Red Sox Nation Membership". The capitalist in me admired the move, but the fan in me despised it. After all, membership in Red Sox Nation (RSN) was something earned by decades of loyal, often suffering fanhood...

...not purchased by a $10 fee and signified by a cheesy plastic card with one's name on it.

Did I pony up with the hope that it would yield some concrete benefit? God-damn right I did.

Today, it paid off.

Lately, scoring Sox home game tix has been near impossible. How impossible? Like keeping Professor Weinberg away from lovely undergraduates while he's hepped up on goofballs....

But yesterday, I received 24 hour e-mail notice of a 1-day, RSN-only ticket sale for all 2005 Red Sox-Yankees games. Today, I scored two tickets in the right field bleachers on Saturday, July 16th, when I will see the Red Sox battle the Yankees during what will undoubtedly be another tight pennant race. Add that to the 2 Red Sox-Os games at Camden Yards, and the 9 Nats games I have season tix to, and I AM IN BASEBALL HEAVEN.

Answer

Or at least what might be the answer.

I believe Holy Cross and Bucknell are the #1 and #2 seeds in this year's tournament. So, it looks like the Patriot League is giving the top two seeds as much of a homecourt advantage as they can so that they both reach the final, which I think is still played at the highest seed's homecourt.

So, AU, the #3 seed, will be playing its opening round game wherever Bucknell is located. The semifinal game would be the next day at the same location.

Also, maybe Show Place Arena was already booked for a horse show this year.

Question...

...for anyone who knows -- most likely Chris "Hoops Fiend" Close. Why are the first two rounds of the Patriot League Men's Basketball Tournament being played in two different locations -- Bucknell and Holy Cross?

Patriot League Basketball

As I have been following Illinois' great season, I have stumbled across quite a few college basketball related blogs that keep me informed and occupied during the dead time at work. If you ever thought that there wasn't a blog for every possible topic, let me tell you that you are wrong. There are at least two. Witness the following TWO blogs focused on Patriot League basketball:

patriotleage.blogspot.com
hooptime3.blogspot.com

The first one is done by a guy at AU or recently graduated. Don't know where the second guy is from.

AU cutting three sports

Surprisingly, wrestling is not one of them. Link to press release here.

Guess they're cutting the few sports AU isn't competitive in the Patriot League in.

41 Days and Counting...

...we're under six weeks until Opening Day of the 2005 Title Defense of The World Champion Boston Red Sox!

Know what I take away from that?

Other than sodden pants 'cuz I coffeed all over myself laughing?

Two beautiful paragraphs that revive my muse, and remind me of all that can be good and righteous about journalism--the last line of the first graf wins the Dickheaded Understatement of the Year prize:



“We bit off more than we could chew. They were just Cockney barrow boy spivs. Total thugs,” one protester said, rubbing his bruised skull. “I’ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.”

Another said: “I took on a Texan Swat team at Esso last year and they were angels compared with this lot.” Behind him, on the balcony of the pub opposite the IPE, a bleary-eyed trader, pint in hand, yelled: “Sod off, Swampy.”

Kyoto protest beaten back by inflamed petrol traders

Apparently, oil traders in the UK know how to deal with Greenpeace:

When 35 Greenpeace protesters stormed the International Petroleum Exchange (IPE) yesterday...

...they were not prepared for was the post-prandial aggression of oil traders who kicked and punched them back on to the pavement...

"They [traders] grabbed us and started kicking and punching. Then when we were on the floor they tried to push huge filing cabinets on top of us to crush us..."

"...They [traders] followed the guys into the lobby and kept kicking and punching them there. They literally kicked them on to the pavement."

GMail

Let me know if any of you want a gmail account. I've got lots of invites.

NHL - Buh bye

The NHL has officially cancelled its season. ESPN recap here.

I'm sure Brian and Mr. Snyder are much more outraged than me. And since I am outraged not at all, they don't have much of a hurdle to overcome.

Let's face it, despite its presence in 30 North American cities (including Columbus, Nashville, and I think Butte, Cheyenne, and Topeka), hockey is no longer a major sport here. Its demise seems similar to boxing's - it hasn't changed with the times and now no one cares.

I'd go on, but I just don't care.

As for the dehydration...

pop a couple Tums, and if you can remember it, water, every couple hours as you drinky-drinky.

Calcium bicarbonate, among other things, makes you retain water. Same principle behind that Chaser crap they sell for $10.

Or you could take a potassium supplement, but that makes your fingers swell up and your piss turn funny colors.

"I vomited on myself"

Goddamn that's funny.

Indeed...

...Mr. Close was responsible for initiating me into the multi-vite club. I recall a certain evening, after a bit of drinking, witnessing him trot down the stairs at 4319 clutching a seaweed green-colored horse pill. Upon an inquiry, Mr. Close informed me that it was a multi-vitamin that he'd found most useful in staving off the deleterious effects of alcohol consumption.

I've been a devotee of said pills ever since...........

Vittles

I have always tried to take a multivitamin. However, I do have a bottle of B-Complex (with a touch of C in them, I just noticed) that is a direct descendant of your teachings. Take one as I'm drinking, or before I crash, and the only pain in the morning is the extreme dehydration.

Multi-Vitamins

Is your use of multi-vitamins directly related to living with me back in the day? I can't remember why I started using them, and I can't remember why I stopped, but I'm pretty sure I was the one who introduced them to 4319 as the hangover-preventer (take one before you go to bed drunk and no hangover the next day).

Those were the days.

PS, Multi-Vitamin Boy...

...multi-vitamins make me nauseous, too. Here's a good story to illustrate the point. One morning, while working at DFI and living with you in Crystal City, I swallowed a multi-vitamin. Within 5 minutes, I started to feel nauseous. Despite the rumblings in my stomach, I was running late, so I hopped in the ol' Honda Accord to drive to work anyway. 10 minutes later, sitting in traffic on Constitution Avenue, I vomited on myself in the car. Had to call my superiors and tell them I was turning around to go home and change clothes. Yes, it was a humiliating moment.

So, Ver You Approached By Anyone?

Apparently, it hasn't yet dawned on the Germans that the infamously ineffectual "security questions" are in fact ineffectual. Yesterday, while checking in for our flight home from Munich, Cherie and I were asked the questions 3 separate times before boarding our flight...including one last time by two beefy women who at the last moment stepped in front of us and blocked our path to the boarding gate and wouldn't move until we'd answered the questions. This was part of a larger security process that included a separate wing of the airport for all US-bound passengers isolated from the rest of the airport, two metal detector screenings per person -- using a level of sensitivity that picked up the only metal I had on me -- the staple holding our baggage claim tickets to the boarding pass envelope-- and two wandings per person. I'm all for heightened security, but this bordered on the bizarre....

I am happy to report, though, that schnitzel still tastes as good as it did when I left Germany for the last time in 1994.

Or, hockey.

Fri. night saw me at a Syracuse Crunch (AHL) game vs. the Cincinatti Mighty Ducks or some such. Franchise is celebrating its 10th anniversary this year, and regularly puts a couple-three thousand people in the drafty old barn where a lot of the hockey scenes in slap shot were filmed.


Compare and contrast: Ticket was free. Would have been $10 if I'd actually had to pay for it.

The NBA does cameltoe better than anyone (dear NBA -- turn down the volume, but turn up the backlights behind the dance squad, please). AHL, not so much. You might have the occasional hot townie in the stands (or if you swing from the other vine, one of the team's leading Euro-defensemen in his street clothes, quietly getting assfaced all by himself 2 rows behind you.)

A hot beef sandwich with real horseradish, $4.

You can hear yourself think, and the opposing goalie can hear you yell.

Oh, and the difference-maker? You could get two 32-oz. Labatts for $10 including tip. (I did.)

Of course, if the NHL manages to screw the pooch even more completely over the next 2-3 years, there might not be any reason (or pro teams in supporting roles) for the AHL to exist any more...

But wouldn't that be a great name for a band (the Degenerate Defensemen)?

The Wizards

Went to see the Wizards Friday night at the MCI Center against the Clip Joint. I have the following observations to report:

1. The Wizards are actually pretty good, and in fact entertaining to watch. This is a long way from the sad sack team that you used to have to watch in addition to your favorite team. Of course, since my ticket was free, I can't say that they were worth the price of admission. But I think I would think about buying a ticket some day.

2. The $6 beer fraud - I have no illusions about how ridiculously expensive beer will be at an arena. However, I do expect price- and size-parity by seating level. My tickets were on the 200 level, whose concourse has some really interesting food options and a $6 solo cup of beer (prob. 12 oz. or so). Contrast that to the main level that has more pedestrian food options and a $6 cup of beer that is closer to 20 oz. Somehow the man is keeping the 200 level down when it comes to beer.

3. NBA arenas, turn down the volume. Please. I can't hear myself think in there.

The Washington Post

Can also suck it.

Re: Multi-Vitamin Boy?

Ah, just an attempt to draw you back to the site.

Nothing pisses me off more than having to register just to see a web site, even if it is free. Just an aggravation. So livejournal can suck it.

I do appreciate the two months notice though.

You Had Me at "Tallboy"

Matt, I... I...

...man, this is harder than I thought it was going to be.

Iloveyou.

Well. In the drunken, ball grabbing, Knob Creek kind of way.

Web sites may come and go...

Hey -- when insignificant pissing matches about the Internet gotcha down, remember what brings us together:


...that decrepit, mung-pile-having house...

...with street signs and rabid coons under the deck...

...Matt "ho-train" Caton passed out and sweating in a recliner...

...Forest of tallboys and beer-filled saucepans...

...Steamy Sirens on the VCR and chappy puking off the porch...

...A _successful_ appearance by two of the finest lesbian strippers...

...Joe talking to the squirrels and bloody elk souffle in the kitchen...

...Phil Gramm's bushes in easy reach, and crazy Spidey-suit neighbor next door...

...Yuppie owners may come and go. Gentrification may take its toll. But that house will never die. And that's probably a bad thing, really.

Multi-Vitamin Boy?

A) I just don't post publicly that often. Get a LiveJournal account (they're free) and login when you go to my page. You'll see a lot more posted.

B) Bite me.

P.S. - I'm heading to DC in April. Looking at a Wednesday/Thursday-Sunday trip around the weekend of the 16th, so plan accordingly. This is your two month notice.

Uh, Happy F-in Birthday Malt Shop Logic

Almost forgot to point this out, but Malt Shop Logic is officially* one year old today.

If you go back in the archives, you can see that we have mercifully progressed from Chapin's Galileo diatribe.

*When I first created this back in January of 2004, I had posted before I realized what a pain it was to come up with something to write so often, ain't that right multi-vitamin boy?

New Yorkers: World's Biggest Wimps

From OpinionJournal's Best of the Web:

"Cuba banned smoking in public places yesterday, an uphill struggle in a country that evokes images of cigar-chomping revolutionaries and where more than half of adults smoke," Reuters reports from Havana.

So a totalitarian dictatorship finds it an "uphill struggle" to control its citizens' behavior, but when New York City passed an antismoking law two years ago, people fell right into line. As a New Yorker, we hang our head in shame.

Dean Wormer is Dead, Long Live Dean Wormer....

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A61545-2005Feb3.html

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen....

...I am off to Deutschland for 10 days of skiing, schnitzel, hefeweizen, and relaxation.

Ich fliege nach Deutschland um achtzehn Uhr.

Tschuss!

The Guy From Duke!

Remember Christian Ast? Check out this item (printed in Washington Times, linked to by this college basketball blog, which I think is pretty interesting, for college basketball fans):

It was a tough week, too, for the Duke basketball program. Mike Krzyzewski's crew got upset by Maryland at Cameron, puncturing their perfect record, and a former Blue Devil sold his 1991-92 NCAA championship ring on EBay for $8,000. Who, you ask, was the seller? Well, the listing tried to disguise his identity, but it's pretty clear from the information provided that it's Christian Ast, a German-born forward who was a bit player for the Blue Devils in '91 and '92. "The stunning thing," colleague Rick Snider points out, "is the 16,800 hits [the listing got]. That's a huge number for EBay." Wouldn't it be funny if the ring was bought by Chris Webber (whose Michigan team lost to Duke in the '92 final)? ••• If Ast's name sounds familiar, it's because he finished his college career at American University, making the all-Colonial Athletic Association team in 1995. After that, he returned to Germany and played for a number of European clubs.