WTF!?!

My final post of the night...

So, Alicia Groh happens to take the same bus as me sometimes, and she mentioned that she drove by the Malt Shop and it looked like it was closed! We've had these scares before (remember the great fire of 2004?), but I got around to doing a search today for Ye Olde Malt Shoppe. And check out this excerpt of a Post chat (I did not post the question):

Washington, D.C.: Going Out Gurus - help! I just heard a rumor that my favorite dive bar might be closing. Can you find out anything about The Malt Shop (above the Dancing Crab) closing/moving? Thanks!

Julia: Nothing to fear -- turns out that the Malt Shop is just moving next door.

WTF?

First of all, one of you enterprising Malt Shop Logicers must call the bar to see, well, WTF?

Second, if the Malt Shop moves, will it really be the Malt Shop? This is a question for the ages. The new place cannot possibly have:
a. the dank
b. the bathroom with all the grafitti
c. the dank
d. the townies
e. the dank
f. anti-freeze laced taps
g. the dank
h. the stairs of life (on the way in)
i. the dank
j. the stairs of death (on the way out)

Really, WTF?!