One year ago today...

...at about this moment, the sounds of Audrey's slowing heartbeat filled me with dread. The fetal heart rate monitor's speaker transmitted the sound of Audrey being strangled with every contraction by the umbilical cord that had wound itself around her neck.

Dr. Laura Da Vita, Cherie's OB, watched a moment longer, pursed her lips, and said, "Let's go to section."

Minutes later, wearing an ill-fitting pair of scrubs, with my Red Sox cap still on, I sat on a stool next to Cherie in the OR, stroking her head and praying to hear a scream, just one scream. When the doctors lifted Audrey into the air, she screamed her lungs out and kicked her way into this world with tiny, red legs. Those sights and sounds filled me with relief and joy of the most extreme kind.

One year later, I am still filled with that joy. Audrey inspires it every day. To the few of you on this blog who haven't yet experienced fatherhood, I wish it for you. It is a gift and challenge that beggars description. Happy Birthday, pumpkin. Mama and I love you more than you will ever know.

Cubs Clinch! Cubs Clinch!

Now the real stress begins.

Red Sox and Cubs Clinch!

Thanks to a thumping of the Twins, Mariano Rivera's latest collapse, and a genius bunt by Melvin Mora, the Red Sox have just clinched the AL East crown. Even as I write this, the Cubbies, by virtue of a victory earlier today, stand in position to win the NL Central crown with a Brewers loss (currently trailing the Padres 6-3 in the 9th)...and there it is! Trevor Hoffman has K'd the last Brewers batter, and the Cubs are kings of the NL Central. Hot damn, here we go again!!

Lessons From Golfing in Florida...

Yesterday, I played a round of golf at "The King and Bear", a course co-designed by Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus. During the round, I learned the following:

1. Even if the forecast is "mostly sunny", bring an umbrella and change of clothes. it will still rain during your round. Twice. Heavily.

2. If water is in play on 14 of 18 holes, and the rough consists of thick, tropical brush that contains both rattlesnakes and water moccasins, bring at least 18 balls. Oh, and poking at one such snake with a golf club is, shall we say, inadvisable.

3. If you play like I play, you're probably not good enough to really enjoy a course designed by the likes of Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus. Or to justify $139 greens fees or a total cost for the day of $210. Damn, that's pricey.

4. Sonicburger, fries, and a large Coke -- perfect post-game meal. Mmmm, Sonic.

Paternal pride

So, the kid's got one of these:

http://www.vtechkids.com/product_page.cfm?productId=489&tvFrom=

And it's got a little singalong microphone that he likes to yell into.

This morning I was playing with him and did a little white boy beatboxing.

Son of a bitch if he didn't pick up the mike and throw down a couple beats himself.

He might not outsell Kanye but Fitty better follow through on his retirement plans.

Five more days...

...and then I will be lounging here.

Later in the week, I will be playing golf here.

Best of all, I will NOT be here.

New project starts after vacation. I cannot wait!

Why do the Cubs...

...seem so intent on giving away the NL Central? And why does the NL Central suck so badly that the teams tied for 1st place barely have .500 records (Cubs and Brewers tied at .511)?

Enlighten those who focus on eastern baseball, Red Sox style...........