"Everything I cook tastes better than yo' momma's nipples."

I'd somewhat randomly googled the name of a fictional restaurant, from one of my favorite authors, and the linked post came up near the top. Somehow, the Coolio references seem to make that relevant to the Shoppe, plus, if we're lucky, the title may start a bit of an effort to make inane statements appear to be from Josh. The comments are pretty good, and will at least take your mind off of college basketball, if that's the sort of thing you're not into:

"This is much better than Snoop Dogg's cookbook. Grizzle Chickizzle with Aspargizzle gets tiresome after a while."

posted by dr_dank

For Starters

Let me apologize to readers of Cheshire's Google Buzz - I've flooded it, but really had no choice. Blame Google.

Next, let's have a fun Q&A:

Q. How many Final Fours will Kentucy go to under John Calipari?
A. None officially. They'll all be vacated due to rules violations that are discovered after Calipari leaves the school (see: UMass, Memphis).

Hey-o! That was for you, Renkey.

Anyway, below are my statistical guideposts for your NCAA bracket picking this year. ASM has been pretty good. So has efficiency margin. Take your pick.

IMO, Kentucky has a ridiculous path to the Final Four. I say they don't make it. Syracuse, for all the complaining they did on the selection show about their being sent out west, got a pretty easy path. Like Duke-Baylor in elite 8. Kansas has a challenging bracket, but they are the best team - and will win the title.

But I've been wrong before.

Conference-only Efficiency Margin

Here's your conference-only efficiency margin. Generally predictive of the elite 8, especially when you discount the non-power conference teams on this list. Of course, it doesn't really match up with the ASM, so who knows.

BYU - 21.70
Butler - 20.63
Kansas - 18.00
Xavier - 17.70
Gonzaga - 17.67
Duke - 17.56
Wisconsin - 16.62
Temple - 15.21
UNLV - 14.41
Kentucky - 14.21
UTEP - 13.76
St. Mary's - 13.60
Ohio State - 12.64
California - 12.42
Richmond - 11.87
Syracuse - 11.65
West Virginia - 11.62
Maryland - 10.77
New Mexico - 10.45
Purdue - 10.10
Baylor - 9.70
Villanova - 8.35
Kansas State - 8.29
Michigan State - 7.93
Marquette - 7.73
Pitt - 6.52
Missouri - 5.38
Georgetown - 5.34
Vanderbilt - 5.31
Texas A&M - 4.81

Adjusted Efficiency Margin

I tried to normalize things by only measuring efficiency margin in conference games for top 100 RPI teams. The good thing is that it eliminates a lot of games by non-power conference teams against the dregs of society and shows you how these teams did against the type of team in the tourney. The bad thing is that it leaves a few teams with a small sample (Gonzaga, Butler, St. Mary's, to name the obvious). I tested this on last year's field and it gets you 6-7 out of 8 elite 8 teams so maybe it's worthwhile. If you don't believe a mid-major is going to make it to the elite 8, just disregard them from the list.

Duke - 20.89
Gonzaga - 20.88
Butler - 18.61
Kansas - 14.52
Kentucky - 10.94
Syracuse - 9.99
UTEP - 9.90
California - 9.57
West Virginia - 7.53
Ohio State - 7.17
Baylor - 6.66
Richmond - 6.53
Purdue - 6.19
Kansas State - 5.36
Villanova - 4.15
Temple - 4.03
Wisconsin - 3.83
Maryland - 3.35
Pitt - 3.23
Vanderbilt - 2.94

East Region ASM

Here's the East Region as the ASM sees it:

Kentucky (1) - 16.7
Wisconsin (4) - 14.8
Missouri (10) - 14.3
Texas (8) - 14.2
West Virginia (2) - 13.6
Clemson (7) - 13.0
Washington (11) - 11.9
Marquette (6) - 11.1
New Mexico (3) - 10.9
Temple (5) - 10.5
Cornell (12) - 9.2
Wake Forest (9) - 8.2
Montana (14) - 5.8
Wofford (13) - 5.2
Morgan State (15) - 4.3

Midwest Region ASM

Here's Midwest:

Kansas (1) - 21.6
Maryland (4) - 15.0
Ohio State (2) - 14.6
Georgetown (3) - 13.6
Tennessee (6) - 12.2
Michigan State (5) - 12.1
Georgia Tech (10) - 10.9
UNLV (8) - 10.6
Northern Iowa (9) - 9.7
Oklahoma State (7) - 9.5
San Diego State (11) - 9.4
Houston (13) - 5.8
Ohio (14) - 5.4
UC Santa Barbara (15) - 0.9

South Region ASM

Here's the South Region

Duke (1) - 21.0
Utah State (12) - 14.4
Baylor (3) - 14.0
California (8) - 13.6
Purdue (4) - 13.1
Villanova (2) - 12.6
St. Mary's (10) - 12.6
Texas A&M (5) - 11.5
Old Dominion (11) - 11.4
Louisville (9) - 10.9
Siena (13) - 10.1
Notre Dame (6) - 9.3
Richmond (7) - 9.0
Sam Houston State (14) - 6.5

West Region ASM

Here's the West Region as the ASM sees it:

Syracuse (1) - 18.2
BYU (7) - 17.4
Kansas State (2) - 15.9
Minnesota (11) - 13.1
Xavier (6) - 13.0
UTEP (12) - 12.6
Murray State (13) - 12.3
Florida State (9) - 12.0
Butler (5) - 11.7
Vanderbilt (4) - 11.3
Gonzaga (8) - 10.8
Pittsburgh (3) - 10.5
Florida (10) - 8.9
Oakland (14) - 3.5
Vermont (16) - 3.2
North Texas (15) - 1.6

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Or maybe Monday...

the return of the almighty ASM. And efficiency margin. And my new "creation" the adjusted efficiency margin.

The good news: lots of data to make your NCAA pool picks.

The bad news: Duke looks pretty good.

Hey, Snyder...

...what do you know about fishing for king salmon either in the Salmon River or in Lake Ontario during the fall? My dad's barber showed him some pictures of huge salmon allegedly caught in the Salmon River, so now my dad is trying to set up a fishing trip for this fall. He recently heard that the fishing is even better for the big salmon in Ontario itself. So, I thought I would tap a local resource for knowledge....

Sad news...

All: Good evening from Shorewood, IL. I write with a heavy heart to share the news that Cherie's dad, Rich Raven, has passed away after fighting prostate cancer for several years.

He entered the University of Chicago Medical Center Wednesday after being hit with an opportunistic pneumonia infection in the wake of his latest chemotherapy session. Cherie and I flew out to Chicago Wednesday afternoon when it became apparent that the infection was life-threatening.

The entire family rallied to his bedside, and we said our goodbyes yesterday evening. Despite struggling for every breath, he was in strong voice and good humor right up until his last words. After goodbyes, he looked at all of us, smiled and said, "Everybody ready for a square dance?" -- his mom and dad, long passed, had been big square dancers, and it was his way of telling us that he was ready to go see them. He closed his eyes, and began the process of winding down his life.

He never said another word.

This afternoon, while Cherie and I spelled other family members who needed a nap and a shower, he calmly exhaled his last breath and drifted away.

Rich was a truly good man who I felt fortunate to know. At 18, he joined the Air Force and served his country during the Vietnam War as an aircraft mechanic. Among other aircraft, he worked on the planes that dropped Agent Orange, which was believed to be responsible for the multiple cancers he fought during his lifetime and which eventually killed him.

He returned home to a career in telecommunications, starting as a lineman for Illinois Bell, and rising through the ranks of Illinois Bell and Ameritech, eventually becoming a project manager responsible for directing some of Chicago's biggest telco projects, including the cutover to a new 911 system for the city of Chicago, the 1994 World Cup, and the 1996 Democratic National Convention. He retired after concluding his career as a teacher for Telcordia (once part of SAIC, Matt) when his health no longer allowed him to withstand the rigors of teaching and travel.

My favorite aspect of Rich's personality was his penchant for telling interesting stories. Whether it was his time in basic training in Biloxi, working on bombers at McConnell AFB, avoiding electrocution while working on telephone lines during raging storms, standing up against Democratic Party officials with unreasonable demands, or standing on the turf at Soldier Field being honored for his work, Rich was always ready with a fascinating story that nearly always concluded with, "...and that was pretty big stuff for a kid whose dad had parked buses for the CTA!"

But most of all, I will miss hearing him say to my children, "Grampa loves you!" It breaks my heart that they will never hear that again.

If any of you are interested, donations in lieu of flowers can be sent in his memory by check to the University of Chicago Medical Center Cancer Research Foundation at:

5841 South Maryland Avenue, MC 1140; Chicago, IL 60637