The 10 Kinds Of Cleavage

I suspect this passes the hurdle of "interesting" in these parts. Choice quote:

If it bends, I can screw it.

h/t Little Miss Attilla via The Other McCain

Follow me on twitter, bitches

/matthewrsnyder

I hate...

...stupid, incompetent, shiftless people who refuse to do their jobs, but then when they must play a role at the end of a months-long process, take great delight in throwing up every roadblock of which they can conceive.

I hate them. And I wish they would all suddenly drop dead of an aneurysm.

That is all.

Five Words...

From last night's Dave Ellis concert:

Sal and Big Blue. Dating.

Wow.

Way to go, New Jersey...

...poisoning our children with heavy metal carcinogens since, well, ever....

The Tavern

Memory failing...were people allowed to smoke in the Tavern while we were in school? I know they were allowed to smoke outside the McKinley Building, but I can't remember if people were allowed to smoke inside anywhere.

For those of you...

...who might be Glenn Beck aficionados, and think he might be scrawling the truth across his blackboard, consider this. In Forbes magazine, in a cover revealing the extent of his ever-growing media empire, Beck revealed his true self, saying, and I quote, "I don't give a flying crap about the political process. We're an entertainment company." Beck has discovered the obvious truth that appealing to the worst instincts in other human being is lucrative to the tune of a $32M bucket of cash...........

Today, on Craigslist ...

So I'm trying to buy a used boat trailer. And I posted same on Syracuse Craigslist.

And the Captcha anti-spam verification phrase it asked me to type in was,

"employed hebrews"

Congratulations anyway, Joe.

How about...

...those Les Habitants!! Go Montreal. F Pittsburgh.

Chapin out.

Published!

Once upon a time, I was a lot of things, including creative. Somewhere along the way to becoming an adult, I forgot or suppressed (or both) that part of me.

Recently, I decided to pick up my pen and start exercising my brain again. Among other things, I submitted a short piece of prose to a semi-professional "litblog". Tonight, I found out that piece will be published in June.

I must admit, I'm a little bit tickled!

URL to follow in June.

Epic Windows Phone Failure...

For the last several months, I've been using the employer-issued (Sprint) HTC Touch Pro 2 "smartphone". Mostly, I've enjoyed it. Oh sure, the HTC "Touch Flo 3d" touchscreen software is a bit quirky, and it's a Windows phone, which means it has had its share of random system crashes; and sometimes the phone has slipped into "Airplane" mode (no active phone/data connections) all by itself, leaving me to miss several hours of phone calls without knowing it -- but the screen is large, the phone is durable (it has endured a few drops here and there), it has a nice slide-out keyboard, and it has performed various business functions without much incident.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday, the phone, while sitting on my desk, suddenly crapped itself. I got a series of "We're sorry" notifications from Windows as several executables stopped working -- cprog.exe, services.exe, device.exe, opera9.exe all stopped working in succession. Then, ActiveSync stopped working (last sync at 10:03 a.m. yesterday; none since). Then the phone became incredibly sluggish, often taking over a minute (and sometimes several minutes) to respond to the pressing of physical and virtual buttons. Then, I could no longer initiate phone calls -- I could only receive them.

I tried a succession of potential fixes -- I powered down; I tried a soft reset; I tried removing the battery. I left it off for several hours, then powered it back on, only to be told that the phone had tried and failed to complete the "Hands Free Activation" -- this on a phone I'd activated with Sprint several months ago.

So, a replacement phone is on the way. Sprint's policy is to reissue a new phone of the same make and model. I probably could have traded up to the newest, latest, greatest phone, but I just wasn't in the mood to push the poor customer service guy, who was otherwise quite helpful and friendly to boot..

So, here's hoping this one doesn't melt down!

Showing My Ignorance

Did you know that John Riggins was known as "The Diesel"? And that he'll be the 2010 Sports Marshal at my town's annual Apple Blossom Festival starting up tonight?

It brings me to one question: do you think he'll enjoy a Bud Diesel while in town? Or will he just long for the old bar he used to call home?

Ladner probably left them behind...

Looks like more chemical weapons have been found near AU:

The home where the latest munitions were uncovered is federal property. Next door is the university president's home, and the South Korean ambassador lives on the other side.

Cured...

Tuesday night: multi-hr ER stay culminating in receipt of 30 mg of intravenous Thorazine. Hiccups and muscular spasms went away at peak dose, came back as the dose came down -- though not as intense.

Wednesday night: spasms were back, strong enough I considered returning to the hospital. Ultimately, I passed out about 2:30 Thursday morning without going back.

Thursday: woke up a little after 8, had one minor hiccup...all day.

Friday: No spasms/hiccups. Endoscopy revealed only irritation of the esophagus and stomach. Possible a "sliding hiatal hernia" had occurred, in which the upper end of the stomach had squeezed itself into the esophagus for a few days, only to "slide" back into place prior to the procedure.

Saturday/Sunday/Monday: No spasms/hiccups.

Apparently I'm cured. Still feeling run-down after 2 weeks of hiccups and spasms every day combined with reflux and other nasty effects. But damn, it's nice to breathe easy and keep down a meal.

Fuck Congress with a Stick

That is all.

Actually, that's not all... first time checking in in a while.

Chapin, sorry for your family's loss. Tell Cherie I said, "keep your head up"

In brighter news, I know an assload about fishing on the salmon river. The stories are true if you go with the right guide at the right time of year. It can also be really, really good on the nearshore of Ontario and I'm a good friend with one of the, or maybe THE, best guide in that business.

Hit my gmail and I'll send you some ideas.

--M

F'ing hiccups...

10 days in, and hiccups still won't go away. Last night I ended up in the ER loaded up with Thorazine via IV because the hiccups have turned into powerful spasms that shut down my airway and leave me unable to breathe for several seconds at a time.

I have an endoscopy on Friday so the docs can view my insides (and hopefully figure out why I'm spasming, and then fix the damn problem).

If only I had the courage of my convictions

Take a look at this recreation of my post from March about adjusted efficiency margin. Look at two of the top three teams. To make me feel better, let's ignore the fact that Gonzaga was in Butler's bracket too.

1. Duke - 20.89 - Championship
Gonzaga - 20.88 – uh, just ignore for the purposes of this post
2. Butler - 18.61 - Championship
3. Kansas - 14.52 – Rd. 32
4. Kentucky - 10.94 – Elite 8
Syracuse - 9.99 – defeated by Butler (see above) so doesn’t count against elite 8 count
UTEP - 9.90 – defeated by Butler (see above) so doesn’t count against elite 8 count
5. California - 9.57 – Rd 32
6. West Virginia - 7.53 – Final Four
7. Ohio State - 7.17 – Sweet 16
8. Baylor - 6.66 – Elite 8

I Dunno, Chappy...

The "last" resort for your hiccup problem might work out ok for you...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZ93JG4xiwQ#t=02m27s

Stay away from my poop chute....

Last Sunday, I started hiccuping, and one week later, I haven't stopped hiccuping. And boy howdy, it sucks.

I'd gotten hiccups before, even had them last a few hours. But nothing prepares one for the prospect of hiccups that continue hour after hour, day after day, for a week straight.

I've tried all of the traditional remedies, and none of them have worked. I've been to the doctor, been put on one drug, but it hasn't worked. I will go back in the morning to ask for the next step in the treatment process, and if it doesn't include something that treats pain, I will ask for that, too. Imagine your diaphragm spasming every 5-10 seconds for 7 straight days, and then imagine that your gastrointestinal system has gotten in the act because it is upset by the constant spasming. So for the last two days, the hiccups have been followed by vomiting. Can't eat, can't breathe (well), can't talk, exhausted and can't play with the kids or help Cherie with them.

Oh, and get this: one of the newer treatments for intractable hiccups? Digital Rectal Massage.

Yeah, it is what you think it is. I'll be asking for that as one of the LAST options.......

"Everything I cook tastes better than yo' momma's nipples."

I'd somewhat randomly googled the name of a fictional restaurant, from one of my favorite authors, and the linked post came up near the top. Somehow, the Coolio references seem to make that relevant to the Shoppe, plus, if we're lucky, the title may start a bit of an effort to make inane statements appear to be from Josh. The comments are pretty good, and will at least take your mind off of college basketball, if that's the sort of thing you're not into:

"This is much better than Snoop Dogg's cookbook. Grizzle Chickizzle with Aspargizzle gets tiresome after a while."

posted by dr_dank