They're loud, they're mediocre...

...and they should get the hell off the stage. I believe Beavis uttered these words nearly 20 years ago about Archers of Loaf...who are appearing on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon tonight. Why?

Big Blue is getting married...

to Sal! Per his Facebook posting...

Sal Olivo
I'm very excited to announce that Rebecca and I have agreed to get married. I proposed in the balcony at the Uptown Theater, site of many great stories and films. Here's to our happy ending. Details on nuptials to come, but not now
Monday at 6:43am · Like ·

Joe, Call Your Office

Indian police given moustache pay

Ten policemen in the northern state are already receiving 30 rupees (66 US cents) every month for their efforts.

Jhabua district police chief Mayank Jain told BBC News Online: "The response is growing and in the months ahead we expect to see more moustachioed policemen.

"Moustaches are improving the personalities of our constables. They are acquiring an aura of their own. They are creating a positive impression on the local people and getting a lot of respect."

But then, as we all know:

Mustache is a symbol of repression and of hate
Never trust a man with a butt broom on his face
It's the facial marking of the man who holds you down
The source of all your problems, every city, every town

So therefore...

Mr Jain said he was keeping a watch on the shape of the moustaches so that they did not look too intimidating, and so have the opposite effect on people.

Sh*t, that's nothing...

...earlier today on the front 9 of Waelae in Hawaii I ran a streak that went:

Birdie
Birdie
Eagle
Par
Birdie

It earned my avatar on Tiger Woods PGA Tour 12 The Masters a slew of experience points

:-)

Back to Back

If I weren't there I wouldn't believe it either. Played golf today and ended up with a 102, which is close to a personal best, with a 47 on the back 9, which probably is a personal best.

But the best part was the back to back birdies. Here's how it went:

Hole 13: Par 4, goes out about 100 yards, and then way down hill, slight dog leg left. Green has water on 3 sides. This is actually the #1 birdie hole on the course.

My drive sucked. 3 iron (my woods are way too wild, so they stay in the bag), hit reasonably hard, but pushed way right. I actually hit a net that protects a house, which was the only thing that kept me in bounds. However, I had a clear view to the green, and it was all down hill. Pitching wedge, about 3ft from the hole. Then I managed to actually make the putt, for a bird.

On to Hole 14. This drive sucked, too. 3 iron again, but hit fat, and just off the fairway to the left. This hill goes up a hill, and then back down, and a little up right at the green, so the approach is blind, although there are eucalyptus trees right behind the green, so you know where to aim.

In any case, on my second shot, I had about 225 to 210 yards to go. The green was probably slightly lower than where I was standing, but I'm not totally sure. Either way, I'd have to hit a 5 iron just right and get a good roll, or maybe some help from the wind to get to the green.

And all of that assumes that I hit the ball straight, which is far from a safe assumption. But I hit my 5 iron pretty hard, and the ball was going right at the big eucalyptus trees. We took the cart over the hill, and noticed a ball near the flag.

Turned out to be my ball, about 4 feet away. Another miracle, and I sunk the putt. This lead to multiple threats upon my body, about which I was much amused.

Of course, in a skins game, timing is everything, and these two holes gave me 9 skins. So I managed to win the game with a 102(!). The other players finished with 81, 87 and 97. Of course, this left me with the bar tab, but that's OK.

Happy Easter...

Happy Easter, boys, to you and your families. I hope this message finds you all well, from Syracuse to Asheville to Los Angeles and all points between.

Now, it's not that time of year any more.

Oh well.

That time of the year again

Below I present you with my annual contribution to your ability to be competitive in your NCAA pools. This year, I have three metrics for you to evaluate the field and make your decisions.

A couple reminders. I’m not saying any of these metrics are perfect. Far from it. But they take the emotion out of picking winners (i.e., I won’t pick Illinois to do anything this year – not that I would. I’m sick of that team) so that you have the best chance of staying alive to win the pool. How will you win the pool? By picking the winner. That’s the only way. And overall the three metrics should paint a pretty clear picture of who the best teams are. Last year, Duke was at the top of all three of my metrics. That worked out pretty well.

Overview of the Metrics

Adjusted Scoring Margin (ASM) – Ah, the granddaddy of them all. I’ve been using this 2004 to help me in NCAA pools. It’s a tool that helps you evaluate who has played the best all year taking into account the level of competition.

Efficiency Margin-Conference Only (Major Conferences Only – ACC, Big East, Big 12, Big Ten, Pac-10, SEC) – I first came across this after the 2005 Tournament when the top four teams in this metric all made the Final Four. It hasn’t worked out that way since, but it’s been fairly predictive of at least the Elite Eight. Basically it measures the difference between how efficient you are on offense (points/possessions) and on defense (points against/possessions) just within your conference regular-season games. The higher the better. Why just major conferences? Because there are too many horrendous teams in non-major conferences that completely inflate the Efficiency Margin for the best teams in those lower conferences.

Efficiency Margin vs. Top 100 RPI – This is my own metric. So, it’s probably only so valid. But here’s my rationale. The teams you play in the tournament are almost definitely in the Top 100 RPI. So, why not find out how well the teams in the tournament do against that level of competition. I’m also able to include the best teams from the non-power conferences and level out the comparison by dropping their worst opponents. When I fooled around with this last year, the top two teams were Duke and Butler. Yeah, I know. I thought it was crap. I was wrong. But it’s worth a look anyway. It will probably never work out that way again.

Good luck.

Efficiency Margin vs. Top 100 RPI

I didn’t do this for the whole field, but I feel fairly confident that the winner of the tournament will come from this group.

The top teams listed will be a recurring theme in all the metrics, but let me point a couple things out:
· Ohio State and Kansas have been good against top teams all year. Really good.
· This won’t be the last time I say this: Washington, despite all it’s ups and downs this year, is not an unreasonable pick to beat North Carolina.
· The BYU figure can’t account for the loss of its top rebounder. So, I probably won’t be picking them to go to the Final Four based on this metric. They will probably win the whole thing now.
· Check out Notre Dame. When they looked like they were heading for a #1 seed, I was ecstatic. I was going to pick against them as much as I could. I believe they are a fraud. This does not dissuade me.

Region
Seed
Team
Top100 RPI EM

East 1 Ohio State 17.32
East 8 George Mason 12.07
East 7 Washington 7.30
East 6 Xavier 5.87
East 2 North Carolina 5.86
East 3 Syracuse 5.84
East 4 Kentucky 5.20
East 9 Villanova 2.73
East 5 West Virginia 2.00
East 11 Marquette 0.08
East 10 Georgia -2.70

Southeast 3 BYU 10.94
Southeast 1 Pittsburgh 10.72
Southeast 2 Florida 9.55
Southeast 4 Wisconsin 8.24
Southeast 9 Old Dominion 2.27
Southeast 6 St. John's 0.96
Southeast 8 Butler 0.78
Southeast 11 Gonzaga 0.62
Southeast 5 Kansas State 0.60
Southeast 7 UCLA 0.38
Southeast 10 Michigan State -5.92
Southeast 12 Utah State -6.52

Southwest 1 Kansas 15.71
Southwest 3 Purdue 10.58
Southwest 5 Vanderbilt 3.79
Southwest 2 Notre Dame 3.68
Southwest 4 Louisville 3.59
Southwest 9 Illinois 2.36
Southwest 6 Georgetown 0.72
Southwest 12 Richmond 0.41
Southwest 8 UNLV -2.50
Southwest 10 Florida State -6.06

West 1 Duke 10.72
West 2 San Diego State 9.28
West 4 Texas 8.75
West 6 Cincinatti 6.07
West 9 Tennessee 2.30
West 3 Connecticut 2.21
West 7 Temple 1.20
West 11 Missouri 0.84
West 8 Michigan -3.30
West 5 Arizona -4.68

Efficiency Margin - Conference Only (Major Conference Only)

As explained earlier, here’s the efficiency margin for major conference teams, conference games only. Hey, look who has the best efficiency margin!
· Again, Washington over North Carolina is not far-fetched.
· Notre Dame does not stack up against Purdue – again.
· If you want to take a flyer on something, try Texas over Duke. One, Texas hit a lull but they were being talked about as a #1 seed not that long ago so they’re not 4-seed quality. Two, from what I’ve seen, they’re exactly the kind of team that gives Duke trouble – good defensive team, tall, athletic (think Florida State).

Region Seed Team EM
East 1 Ohio State 16.66
East 4 Kentucky 11.68
East 7 Washington 11.12
East 2 North Carolina 11.03
East 3 Syracuse 8.76
East 12 Clemson 6.06
East 5 West Virginia 5.11
East 10 Georgia 5.07
East 11 Marquette 3.68
East 9 Villanova 1.46

Southeast 1 Pittsburgh 14.79
Southeast 2 Florida 11.85
Southeast 4 Wisconsin 9.72
Southeast 7 UCLA 6.01
Southeast 5 Kansas State 4.58
Southeast 6 St. John's 1.94
Southeast 10 Michigan State -3.85

Southwest 1 Kansas 17.26
Southwest 3 Purdue 12.60
Southwest 2 Notre Dame 7.58
Southwest 4 Louisville 6.77
Southwest 9 Illinois 4.67
Southwest 5 Vanderbilt 4.57
Southwest 10 Florida State 4.35
Southwest 11 USC 3.24
Southwest 6 Georgetown -0.53

West 4 Texas 19.79
West 1 Duke 15.72
West 5 Arizona 5.73
West 6 Cincinatti 5.04
West 11 Missouri 4.54
West 9 Tennessee 3.45
West 3 Connecticut 0.76
West 10 Penn State -1.72
West 8 Michigan -3.17

ASM - East Region

ASM – East Region

Here’s the thing. I know everyone says that this is the toughest region and it’s become fashionable to pick someone other than Ohio State. But…OSU has lost two games all year on the road versus two really good teams. Otherwise, they’ve pretty much dominated. I think Kentucky is the only legitimate threat here. North Carolina has ended the season on a hot streak as in a winning streak but they miraculously won three or four of their last games. They’re not dominating. Syracuse just doesn’t measure up either. I’m picking Ohio State in all my pools.

Seed Team ASM
1 Ohio State 20.0
4 Kentucky 16.2
7 Washington 14.9
2 North Carolina 14.3
3 Syracuse 13.3
8 George Mason 11.7
5 West Virginia 10.5
9 Villanova 10.1
11 Marquette 9.9
6 Xavier 9.7
12 Clemson 9.5
12 UAB 8.0
10 Georgia 7.2
15 LIU-Brooklyn 6.2
13 Princeton 4.6
14 Indiana State 2.4

ASM Southwest Region

ASM – Southwest Region

Um, Kansas. I do not like Notre Dame here. Purdue can make the Elite Eight, but I don’t think they can beat Kansas. That said, Kansas under Bill Self is extreme feast or famine. Buyer beware.

Seed Team ASM
1 Kansas 20.4
3 Purdue 14.3
4 Louisville 14.2
2 Notre Dame 13.4
5 Vanderbilt 12.2
8 UNLV 11.8
9 Illinois 10.4
6 Georgetown 10.2
7 Texas A&M 10.0
12 Richmond 9.1
10 Florida State 8.9
11 USC 7.2
13 Morehead State 5.9
11 Virginia Commonwealth 5.2
15 Akron 2.7
14 St. Peter's College 1.9

ASM West Region

I’d say Duke is a good pick here. If you’re going to do two brackets, I say pick Texas in another one. San Diego State has had a nice year, but I don’t think they stack up. Connecticut had a good run in the Big East tournament, but there was a reason they had to win five games in five nights – they were the #9 seed there. Eventually things revert to the mean

Seed Team ASM
1Duke 19.8
4 Texas 16.9
2 San Diego State 14.5
3 Connecticut 11.5
5 Arizona 11.4
11 Missouri 11.3
6 Cincinnati 10.7
7 Temple 9.6
9 Tennessee 8.4
13 Oakland 8.4
8 Michigan 7.0
10 Penn State 6.4
14 Bucknell 5.9
12 Memphis 5.6
15 Northern Colorado 3.1

ASM - Southeast Region

Interesting fact that only I would be aware of. The team with the lowest ASM of the region leaders (so the lowest ASM out of Ohio State, Kansas, Duke and Pittsburgh), has never made the Final Four in the years I’ve been following this metric. Doesn’t mean the other three teams made it, but the fourth best team hasn’t. So, if you don’t think four #1 seeds are going to make the Final Four, you might want to try Florida or BYU if you’re really feeling frisky. That said, this region stinks so Pittsburgh will probably go to the Final Four. Belmont and Utah State’s ASM’s are inflated, but might be worth an upset pick in the first round.

Seed-Team-ASM
1 Pittsburgh - 16.0
3 BYU - 15.7
13 Belmont - 15.1
12 Utah State - 13.3
2 Florida - 13.1
4 Wisconsin - 13.0
11 Gonzaga - 11.3
5 Kansas State - 11.2
8 Butler - 8.6
9 Old Dominion - 8.2
6 St. John's - 7.8
7 UCLA - 7.0
10 Michigan State - 6.8
14 Wofford - 4.9
15 UCSB - 2.0

Your NCAA bracket metrics are coming

Probably will post tonight with analysis. Maybe tomorrow. If you need this information sooner because your pool gives points for the first four games, you are in a bad pool.

Thanks for the advice

Some of the best advice I ever received during college came from Paul Williams*. He was very clear: go to Camillos on Monday for a haircut because Camillo isn't there. He was right. Camillo, while nice, didn't give good haircuts, mostly because he was always distracted. Unfortunately, there wasn't a day where both Camillo and Dante were gone, so you had to take your chances.

I was reminded of this yesterday as I ventured to a new barbershop. I have a good one near where I live, but my long weekday commute and extensive weekend obligations have made it difficult to fit in a haircut. So I made an appointment at Carmie's, which is an original tenant of the Standard Oil building/Aon Center where I work. But I got some advice: don't make an appointment with Carmie. Not only are his haircuts subpar, but his conversation is "pornographic" at times.

That's the kind of advice we all need.

*He also gave me the worst advice: "this King Cobra is pretty good. You should try it."

Are you threatening me??

Oh yes, they're coming back.......

I suspect Chapin

Headline: Fish poisoned during burglary

I think we should

AU President Cornelius Kerwin sent me - ME! - an email last night asking for my thoughts on AU's 2011 Campus Plan draft. It's actually quite interesting and even bold in some parts. Just wanted to make sure you saw it. I might add some comments later on what I think of it.

The Tavern is no more...

I took my family to see the AU Eagles men's basketball team take on the Lehigh University Hawks this past weekend. AU won, 82-75. Curiously, a team that has long relied on sharp outside shooting instead turned to the inside play of Vlad Moldoveanu and Stephen Lumpkin to get by the Hawks. Vlad had something like 37 points, far outpacing any other player on the floor. Lumpkin was also a significant presence, though his stone-handed ballhandling skills limited his effectiveness. My conclusion is that the Eagles with a dominant Moldoveanu can win the Patriot League -- but that the Eagles without Vlad would struggle to score 50 points/game consistently.

Anyway...Cherie and I decided we'd go early to the game, take the kids to the Campus Store for some AU youth gear, then take them to the Tavern for lunch. So, we hopped in the car, hit campus, bought some stuff at the Campus Store, walked into the Tavern, and...

...the Tavern is no more.

Sure, it's there in name. There's a sign on the wall in the old space that reads, "The Tavern".

But the booths? Gone. The pictures of AU athletics "glory" past? Gone. The TVs? Gone. The distinctive bar? Gone. In their place, gray-white walls, cool red and blue light panels that reach nearly from floor to ceiling, recessed lighting, and some very metro stackable chairs and tables. The character that once gave the Tavern a somewhat Tavern-like atmosphere cannot be found in the Anti-Tavern.

And you say you want to instill spirit by hosting gatherings of students or alums before or after a men's basketball game, or say, any other athletic/spirit event? Sorry, the Anti-Tavern is not open on Saturdays for food service.

You say you want to enjoy a soda or beer and converse with friends or family at a table before or after the big game? Sorry, the bar is closed and the tables and chairs are stacked and not available for use.

I find it very odd that that a university that wants to increase alumni attendance at and participation in athletic and other events has cut off a significant part of the atmosphere that favors the necessary enthusiasm. I am sad for the athletes who no longer have a place outside of Bender that tells them that AU is proud of the athletic heritage of the university or of their place in the current program. And, I am sad that alums (many of them with families) no longer have a convenient on-campus gathering place prior to or after games; it plays such a significant role in the "fan experience" to have a place to bring your kids, grab a bite to eat, relax before or after the game (especially after, to let the traffic clear out of the Bender garage).

I am glad we attended AU when the Tavern was truly a tavern, and when it was part of a vital experience at AU.