Malt Shop Logic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4vtKoa0sw4

Wristwatch, Crisco!

Don't kid yourself.

I've capitulated and joined Facebook.

300+ miles over the road in a driving rainstorm yesterday were made tolerable by flipping back and forth between the Cubs mailing one in against the Brewers (and almost winning) while the Mets capped off their implosion of Shea Stadium vs. the Floria "We Hate the Mets" Marlins.

So very, very, very much better radio than the coverage of the presidential election.

My analysis? McCain 1, Obama 0. See my thoughts here.

...I've been trying to lay off the political posts, because the less sleep I have as my son fails to even approach sleeping through the night, and as the stress builds from trying to sell our house in the worst market in memory, and move to Virginia in 6 weeks, the more angry and strident I get.

But, I just can't pass this up.

Ever since she was chosen as the Republican VP nominee, Sarah Palin and her party colleagues have been stating over and over and over again, and with complete seriousness, that her chief foreign policy credential is that Alaska is close to Russia. And they have made the (incredibly weak, shameless, and pathetic) argument that as governor of a state near Russia, she has some foreign policy "experience by osmosis".

Except now, in an interview with Katie Couric, she first claims it again in seriousness, expands it to sharing a land boundary with Canada, but then, apparently realizing in the moment how retarded she sounds, tries to switch gears and claim that it's all a big joke, and that the argument was meant all along to mock reporters.

Only she can't even do that intelligibly, because she's an idiot. So Katie Couric has to simultaneously bail her out and humiliate her by providing the English for her to use. See the video here.

I'm SO proud of my country that one of its two major political parties, and the one that is supposed to be regarded as the "serious" party, the party to be entrusted with national security and foreign policy over the liberal, pot-smoking, incense-burning hippies of the Democratic Party, has just burned its credibility in the cauldron of Sarah Palin's ignorance and imbecility.

Oh, and seeing as I: a) was born in Alaska; b) have lived in 3 different countries; c) can speak some conversational German, Japanese, Italian, and Spanish; d) have actually BEEN to Russia and China, as well as more than 20 other countries; e) actually once had a subscription to Foreign Affairs Magazine, according to Republican Party logic, I'm something like 1000 times more qualified to be Vice President of the United States than Sarah Palin.

I await my nomination.

Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer

I don't think anything more needs to be said.

In a coincidence that is too good to miss, the World Financial Center (where I work and home to Merrill Lynch world HQ) is hosting its annual MotorExpo this week. All over the lobby areas of 3 and 4 WFC, luxury auto manufacturers including Bugatti, Ferrari, Maserati, Porsche, etc., are showing their wares...to customers who suddenly have no money to buy luxury automobiles.

Ah, schadenfreude, you are so good to me.

Carlos Zambrano: Better than me at pitching.

So it turns out that being a vegetarian shrinks your brain. Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....I always felt like vegetarians were stupid. Now I know why.

Eat your meat! If you don't eat your meat, how can you have any pudding? Thank you, Pink Floyd.

Matt Damon, using his mad acting skillz.

This caught my eye today: the Grog and Tankard is closing/is closed. For those of you who never went there, the Grog was like the late great Ye Olde Malt Shoppe - without any of the charm (or Caleb dishing out antifreeze-laced Bud Heavy).

During my time in Glover Park, my roommates and I would occasionally wander over there. The sights included strippers off duty from JP's, pool tables not close to level, and random bands (covered in the above Post article). My favorite part about going there was when the owners tried to charge a cover - we would either start to leave and they would waive the fee or we would just wave off the request as we entered (with no objection from the owners).

That said, it was an awful, awful place. An institution. But an awful, awful place.

...of Papelbon in the evening. It smells like...VICTORY.

Rahm Emanuel is pushing the absurd theory that since Wal-Mart thrived when Democrats held the White House, Wal-Mart thrived because Democrats held the White House. Of course, he say "When Democrats Are In Charge." His basic premise is that after the Republicans won Congress and Democratic hopes of a leftist utopia ushered in by Clinton--no, wait, he omitted that part.

Well, one silly assumption is no reason to ruin a good partisan rant. What he means, is that after the Democrats managed to get Congress back more recently, and have been threatening to raise taxes, prevent an increase in oil supplies, or even using useful raw materials to make energy (e.g., oil, coal, natural gas, uranium) and by the way, run companies like Wal-Mart (by which I mean companies that are Wal-Mart) out of business--no, wait, he omitted that part, too.

OK, with two such flawed arguments, I'm not sure how he manages a straight face, but I guess his point is that if you just trust him and his buddy BHO, real middle class incomes will increase, defying the laws of economics (OK, he left that qualifier out, too). But what could possibly go wrong?

Labels: just trust us on this, running the blockade

Jesus, who let you guys barf all over the blargosphere? I was just directed to the comment storm here and... Wow.

Labels: maltshopunlogic

I thought it was time for some counter-prop to the stuff we've been reading around here lately, and who better to deliver than Karl Rove. I think that neither his friends nor his enemies would ever describe him as a "McCainiac." I think they'd also all agree that he knows about winning close presidential elections.

Today he writes about why the VP pick may actually matter this year. And I think this comment may explain why Brian is so fond of Sen Biden:

In the vice-presidential debate, Democrats must be concerned about Mr. Biden appearing bombastic and condescending -- which is almost a permanent state of mind for the Delaware senator...

Not related to the Rove article, but I love her comparison of being Mayor to "community organizer," but with actual responsibilities. No wonder the Dems are so scared of her.

Labels: nobama

the country doesn't reflect this Frank Luntz focus group from CSPAN.

http://www.palinfacts.com/

UPDATE: This may be my favorite: Sarah Palin is the only woman who can make Tony Romo WIN a playoff.

...conveniently on Labor Day, after the noon news, while coverage of Hurricane Gustav is ongoing... that Sarah Palin's 17 yr-old daughter is 5 months pregnant.

To me, this only reinforces the notion that Sarah Palin should be spending more time focusing on the needs of her family and less time gallivanting around the country campaigning for the vice presidency.

One might also suggest that this news is evidence that she has already not been paying enough attention to her children.

So let's see what we've got now. We've got a vice presidential candidate with a 5-month old with Down's, and a pregnant 17 yr-old?

And if she and McCain win, her daughter's going to give birth in the midst of transition activities in December or right around the Inauguration in January?

And her mom will be busy with those activities, getting briefings on the latest international crises, terrorist threats to the country, helping to interview candidates for the VP staff as well as for some of the thousands of political appointments that must be made by a new administration, moving her family from Alaska to Washington, meeting and greeting with supporters who made her victory possible -- and somehow finding time amidst her duties to work with her teen-aged daughter helping teach her how to nurse, change diapers, establish routines for that child, manage that child when it's fussy, learn how to manage her own frustration and anger when the baby has kept her up all night long and won't stop screaming, etc.?

Or will she leave her teenaged daughter at home in Alaska with her new baby and (likely) teen-aged father to fend for themselves while the rest of the family is moving into the Naval Observatory on Massachusetts Avenue?

And knowing your daughter is a teenager and is 5 months pregnant, you accepted a position that you had to know was going to result in your daughter's pregnancy being splashed across every major newspaper in the world?

If you're Sarah Palin, are you thinking about these things, or are you so ambitious that you just don't care?

Thoughts?