Malt Shop Logic

I had multiple fun stories with the hibachi -- but the original story of the hibachi at 44th St revolved around my erroneous belief that the bottom of the hibachi was built to be "heat-proof".

I didn't realize that...the hibachi...had legs.

So, I set the hibachi down on its metal bottom on the wooden sill of the porch.
I lit it, put the chicken on, and walked away.

I came back some time later to find small flames licking up from beneath the hibachi. I immediately grabbed the hibachi, put it down on the floor of the porch (where it melted the indoor-outdoor carpet), and yelled to Chris, "Hey, can you get me a glass of water?"

He replied, jokingly, "Why, is the chicken on fire?"

I shot back, "No. the porch is."

A ha ha ha ha hilarity ensued........

Check out this story about Northwestern seniors upset that their commencement speaker is the Mayor of Chicago. I did like the response of NU's president to one of the students, though. Gen Y is stupid.

Summer's practically here in San Diego, and I threw out my old $10 charcoal grill a few months ago. To replace it, I purchased one of those hibachi style propane grills at the local drug store. Also $10. You know the kind: Chapin nearly burned the house down with one.

Do you know how useful the gas regulators are on those things? I'll give you a hint: it rhymes with "Snot at all." Of course, it took a mighty "PHOOM!!" thundering through the front door to illustrate this fact clearly to Nicole and me. It had only been lit for 2 minutes before the damned thing became a raging inferno of flaming propane and aluminum.

I'm smarter than Chapin. I know this. Except I now have evidence to the contrary.

A little bit of my faith in the world was restored today, when I learned that you can still get bubblegum cigarettes from the right sort of ice cream truck. And that my daughter bought a pack.

The Red Sox have completed 50 games -- or approximately 30.8% of the 2008 MLB regular season.

At this point, they stand at 31-19. They are #1 in the AL East, #1 in the AL, have the most wins in MLB, the best winning percentage in MLB, are ranked #2 in team batting, #7 in team pitching (ranked by Batting Average Against), and #11 in team fielding according to fielding percentage (.985). Now, subtracting Julio Lugo, that might go up significantly -- he has 11 of Boston's 28 errors. Subtract Lugo, and Boston has the most error-free defense in the league at a .991 fielding percentage.

All of this is to say, it's shaping up to be another fine year to be a member of Red Sox Nation.

2003 -- ALDS champs, ALCS losers
2004 -- ALDS champs, ALCS champs, World Series Champs
2005 -- ALDS losers
2007 ALDS champs, ALCS champs, World Series Champs
2008 -- Defending World Series Champs

Has a main character on a TV show ever been the least interesting character on that show? Really. This is a question that must be answered.

I opened my Chicago Tribune today to find this story in there.

It's weird the things that slip from your mind. 20 years ago, my grade school, 2-3 blocks from the grade school where the shooting happened was on lockdown. The kid who was killed lived behind my parents' house at one time and next door to one of my classmates. The teacher of the classroom (not the substitute) was the wife of my grade school's former p.e. teacher. And the college student who was shot was from my parish and the brother of a guy a year behind me in school who was locked down with us at the time.

Anyway a downer of a story but quite the flashback to 7th grade.

Snyder and I talk about NASCAR, the end of Metacrawler, Brandl's request to join the Malt Shop Logic family and whether Joe's quilt deserved it.

And it's under 40 minutes! Listen here.

After 14 half-assed years (the last six of them bankrupt and out of business), Metacrawler finally remembered to turn off its free e-mail service.

The mattsnyder@metacrawler.com address goes away ca. June 6. It is replaced effective today with snyder.matthew.r@gmail.com though I suggest using my work address if you are interested in reaching me more quickly.

F technology.

Seems I'm not the only one who thinks so...see George Will's quote below from his most recent column. The entire column can be found here.

"McCain's problem might turn out to be the fact that Obama is the Democrats' Reagan. Obama's rhetorical cotton candy lacks Reagan's ideological nourishment, but he is Reaganesque in two important senses: People like listening to him, and his manner lulls his adversaries into underestimating his sheer toughness -- the tempered steel beneath the sleek suits."

You'll see to the right that I have added Brian's blog to our exclusive list of links here at maltshoplogic.

Also, I expect to have a new podcast up by Sun./Mon. That is all.