Malt Shop Logic

And it is the Brewtender.

Sweet land of liberty...

...best line from Saturday Night Live in the last several years?

Peyton Manning in a skit about a couple having a seemingly normal, then outrageous, conversation while sipping coffee on their porch:

"Know what Carl did for Janice's birthday? He hung himself in the garage."

Sick, wrong, but with that deadpan delivery, funny as s***.

For decades, the western world has allowed Iran to behave like an immature, dangerous belligerent, both within its own region and lately, vis a vis the world writ large. Because of its oil reserves and the need to maintain a "balance of power" within the region, it has been allowed to develop nuclear weapons, sponsor worldwide terrorism, outright threaten the existence of another nation, and now it has abducted British naval personnel from Iraqi waters -- this act alone could be considered an act of war against the UK.

I pray that once the UK has recovered its 15 abducted naval personnel, it strikes hard against Iranian military targets -- to include the homes of the mullahs who sponsor terrorism and inspire Iran's belligerent behavior. I hope to see the smoking ruins of Iranian infrastructure live on CNN. Iran needs to be taught a harsh lesson.

So after a very, very long work day, I was just perusing the Washington Post Online. I was excited to see this article, which discusses the outstanding and (for AU) historic performance by Josh Glenn, an AU wrestler who just won AU's first ever Division 1 athletic national championship. But then I saw that the article included this passage,

"...American's interim Athletic Director, Athena Argyropoulos, said."

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT?

Athena was an SPA GUIDANCE COUNSELOR in the 90s. She was one of two counselors (along with the thoroughly incompetent Anne Kaiser) who helped process my add/drop slips from 1993-1997.

What the hell does she know about being Athletic Director? Other than being (like Neal Kerwin, Sean Bates, etc.) an AU lifer?

Paul, can you shed any light on this?

For example, getting internal passes to one of our customer's websites. And now we're allowed to talk about it.

Boo. Ya.

Once again, I present you with the ASM scores for all 65 NCAA tournament teams. Check out posts from this time the last three years to understand what it all means. It has been pretty good - even last year when it missed all final four teams, it still had 6 of the final eight and Florida had the highest ASM of the final four.

That's it for my analysis. I'm committed to not overthinking the numbers this year even though I have a tough time picking UNC to win it all.

It's still better than me justifying Illinois going to the Final Four somehow.

1. North Carolina - 22.2
2. Georgetown - 15.4
4. Texas - 13.7
9. Michigan State - 12.9
8. Marquette - 11.5
12. Arkansas - 9.5
7. Boston College - 9.4
5. USC - 9.1
6. Vanderbilt - 9.1
3. Washington State - 8.9
10. Texas Tech - 7.3
15. Belmont - 7.0
14. Oral Roberts - 7.0
11. George Washington - 6.5
13. New Mexico State - 5.6
16. Eastern Kentucky - 1.0

1. Florida - 20.3
2. Wisconsin - 16.2
4. Maryland - 16.1
6. Notre Dame - 15.4
10. Georgia Tech - 13.1
11. Winthrop - 12.8
3. Oregon - 12.5
5. Butler - 12.2
7. UNLV - 11.4
8. Arizona - 11.3
13. Davidson - 10.8
9. Purdue - 9.6
15. Texas A&M Corpus Christi - 9.1
12. Old Dominion - 9.0
14. Miami (Ohio) - 4.0
16. Jackson State - -4.5

3. Texas A&M - 20.2
2. Memphis - 19.6
1. Ohio State - 17.5
9. Xavier - 13.7
6. Louisville - 12.0
8. BYU - 11.6
7. Nevada - 11.5
5. Tennessee - 10.4
10. Creighton - 9.9
4. Virginia - 8.8
14. Penn - 6.5
11. Stanford - 6.1
12. Long Beach State - 5.5
13. Albany - 3.4
15. North Texas - 2.3
16. Central Connecticut State - 1.9

1. Kansas - 19.6
2. UCLA - 16.3
6. Duke - 14.7
9. Villanova - 13.8
3. Pittsburgh - 13.3
7. Indiana - 11.9
8. Kentucky - 11.9
5. Virginia Tech - 11.5
10. Gonzaga - 11.2
12. Illinois - 11.2
11. VCU - 9.7
4. Southern Illinois - 8.9
13. Holy Cross - 7.0
14. Wright State - 3.4
16. Niagara - 1.0
15. Weber State - 0.2
16. Florida A&M - -2.1

...so I changed my first diaper of the solid food era this afternoon, and all I have to say about that is, "Oh, my God, the stench...."

RIP, B.I.G.

Can't do it for Tupac though. He's still alive.