Malt Shop Logic

I hear there still hasn't been a bigger dick in Hughes Hall since he left...

Check out the link below -- Channel 4 posted Tim's picture with the story. NICE!

http://www.nbc4.com/news/4417006/detail.html

I made a realization the other night in what has become a fairly regular poker game for the office. The same thing happened in all of our nights that happened in DC. I get tired. And when I get tired, I quit caring and start trying to bluff every hand and betting on everything.

Lesson? Quit starting so late at night.

The link below sends you to an article about one Timothy D. Fudd, 31, a "resource teacher" at Chantilly's Westfield High School -- who was arrested after having a loaded handgun in his trunk while parked at the high school.

Could this be our Tim Fudd, basketball player and squirrel killer? I bet it is.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/04/26/AR2005042601357.html

Some times I hate working with government customers. Damn donkeys.

So Close and I went to the Wizards-Celtics game the first week of April. During a break in the action, the Wiz trotted out the "Senior Dance Team" -- composed of senior citizens dressed in black trying not to break a hip while breakin' some moves. Since Chris and I had a view of the press box from our seats, the best part was watching the journalists contort in fear and disgust -- including Chicagoan/Washingtonian Michael Wilbon. I posted a question today during one of his live chats at the Washington Post online, and I've posted his response as well....

Arlington, Va.: Mike:
How do you think the activation of Brendan Haywood will improve the ability of the Wizards to advance past the first round of the playoffs and do some damage in later rounds? And, how'd you like that Senior Dance Team during the Celts-Wizards game? Could see you and Aldridge from my seat in Section 102 and thought I saw you frozen in fear!

Michael Wilbon: I say "frozen in fear" about sums it up! Brendan Haywood, if he can give the Wizards 8-10 points and 9-10 rebounds per game it will give the Wiz a huge advantage over the Bulls, their likely first-round opponent. I like the way Haywood has come along this season. I really, really, really like the way he has played. I like the way he got in Kwame's face on that west coast trip...He could factor in very large in the first round, especially since the Bulls are without Eddy Curry. And against Miami, clearly Haywood's contribution is critical.

"4-lb. frozen rack of grass-fed lamb" and "Milwaukee Sawzall"

[IMG]http://www.milwaukeeconnect.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/met/html/images/mediumprod/6519-22.jpg[/IMG]

1. I'm pretty sure the T-North Bird Lady was on my bus on the way home today. Frighteningly, she got off the stop before me.

2. It's Day 8 of Chris Close Held Hostage - 8 days into my new job, still no phone (and probably not one for another few weeks) and still no logon for my computer. Tough to do my job without a computer. On the plus side, I have read several books.

3. There are now two hours of TV worth viewing every week - Sunday 8-9, Simpsons and Arrested Development, and Tuesday 9-10, Scrubs and The Office.

4. Ye Olde Malt Shoppe and Friday - are there sweeter words in the English language?

I'll pass on my cut this year. I'll just charge for the info next year after maltshoplogic has converted to a pay site. Um, yeah, that's going to happen.

However, I am pleased that you all have won some money. My Dad even won two pools with the ASM, I believe Brian won one, and I think Lewis was going to finish in the money in one. At least I didn't lead you all astray.

ASM... pretty good method. I finished 4th, 4th (argh!) and 2nd in my 3 pools --

The worse of the 4th-place finishes was my annual SU "homer" pool (gotta go for it, even tho I knew SU was gonna suck in this tourney), picked everything else by ASM. Wasn't really even close to being in the money, but the competition was weak.

The near-miss (tied for 3rd but lost tiebreaker on final-game total score, by 3 lousy points) was picked by a combo of ASM and personal opinion. Oklahoma State's crap-out (In my mind a tournament-tough team with the goods to beat any team on any night of the NCAAs) really hurt me in that one. Wake's loss hurt me too, but damn, that was such a great game I really didn't mind that much.

The in-the-money finish was picked with probably 75% adherence to ASM, not counting the 1st-round games where ASM just didn't seem like it could possibly be accurate. My brackets were hosed, hard, after the first 4 days of play. But so were everyone else's. Seemed like the only teams making it out of the first weekend for me were final four teams -- 3 of them, my 4th was Wake. 3 of 4 final 4s, picking both semifinal games correctly and picking the championship correctly -- and, I might add, predicting the final score to within one point -- is going to be worth a nice little wad of cash.

And no, Chris doesn't get a cut. But he does get the satisfaction of knowing that his _fighting,_ and I mean _fighting_ Illini, played some of the most breathtaking, tough ball of the season in this tourney.

Postscript illustrating my boss' boss' way with words:

She's the former chancellor at Illinois. You may remember when she got run out of town on a rail over the Chief Illiniwek flap

Anyway, we've set her up to meet regularly with the editorial board of the local daily paper. In Monday's meeting, as it was wrapping up, one of the sports eds. asks her, laughing, "so, you going to be wearing orange tonight watching the game?"

She frowns snaps back, "No, you know who I'll be rooting for. I'll be wearing Carolina blue." Nice commentary on the kids that were recruited and coached under her tenure, don't you think?

Anyway, it was dutifully reported on p. 1 of the Post-Standard yesterday. As a PR guy it means bad news. But honestly, I kinda got a kick out of it.

Sorry your Illini couldn't bring home the championship, Chris. I must however state that since UNC won, and I'd picked them in one of my two brackets, that I wound up finishing 2nd in my office pool, a mere 2 points behind the winner...2nd Place paid 20% of the total entries, which wound up being $46.

So I played in the poker tournament Friday that Towner's roommate hosted. They had 28 players total, which was a nice size, and I finished 12th, which was three players from the final table. Here are my thoughts on the tourney:

1. First of all, the quality of play was higher. Consider the first hand of the night - nine players at the table, folded all the way around to the small blind. In our tournaments, there would have been at least three callers. Overall these guys played good hands and bet aggressively - there was no seeing the river or turn on the cheap.

2. Second of all, I had five playable hands all night. They were this:

• K-Qo that I raised twice the big blind from late position. Got called by the big blind. Flopped nothing, big blind checked, I tried to push him out of the pot, got called, turn came, he bet into me and I had to fold with nothing.
• 10-10 that I raised twice the big blind, got one caller, flopped the set. Caller checked to me, I checked. Turn came with blanks, caller checked, I bet and he folded.
• K-K I raised pre-flop, everyone folded.
• A-Ko I raised pre-flop, everyone folded (and one of the folders who was shuffling that deck afterwards looked at the cards - he thought secretly - which pisses me off even now).
• A-10o, which I pushed all in on from the big blind. There were two callers of the big blind, the blinds were 10-15, which were more than 1/3 of my stack at the time (with only six players at the table so they were coming around fast), and I felt like I needed to make a move. Of course, I get called by 9-9 who hits the set on the flop.

I had nothing else all night. Not even a crap hand that I folded that would have turned into the nuts. Five playable hands in 2.5 hours. That's a total of 8 playable poker hands in my last 7 hours of play. I can hold out for a while, but with no cards, what can you do.

3. While the quality of the play was good, the etiquette of the players was not particularly good. For example, the guy above who looked at my cards. It appeared that most of these guys were internet gamblers who never had to do things themselves, but thought they knew it all.

4. Yay to better players, nay to poor etiquette. Yay to lasting as long as I did with crap, nay for not finishing in the money.

5. Go Illini!