Malt Shop Logic

...while Chris spends the next couple of days trying to stave off defeat for President Bush in the Midwest, Cherie and I will be in Boston with 3.6 Million Red Sox Fans celebrating the World Championship. Flight leaves at 2100 hrs. I am so psyched!

Stinker my ass...

The Curse Is Reversed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The great thing that MLB has had going for it over the past few years has been very exciting World Series. This year was a stinker.

There have been some years where I really haven't followed baseball. Can anyone list some World Series that at least compared to this one in terms of lack of competitiveness?

Here are a few tidbits from my last few days here in Michigan:

1. Went to the President's rally in Pontiac, MI on Wednesday with 20,000 - 30,000 people. Really impressive. John Kerry had a rally Monday night (I think) in the county to the east - and drew at most 10,000. Republicans are energized.

2. The Detroit News tracking poll that first alerted everyone to how competitive Michigan had become is currently a little skewed. It's a three day tracking poll, so what was reported today (48-42 Kerry, I think) contains Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday's sample (200 each). From what I understand, Monday's sample was +11 for Kerry, the largest spread of any night for either candidate. So, that six point lead is dependent greatly on Monday's sample. However, the next time the tracking poll results will be reported - probably on Sunday as the News does not publish on Saturday - the results should show Bush close to even because Monday's result will be dropped. Nice, if artificial sign of momentum.

3. I don't know what the Dems are doing, but the GOP get out the vote operation (as planned) is very impressive. Tons of volunteers charting who has voted, using handheld computers to relay the information with targeted automated phone calls and door knocking for those who haven't voted. Really impressive.

Still don't really think the President will win here, but I'd say it's more 51-49 for Kerry than the 57-43 it should be.

...from Bob Ryan's Boston Globe column today:

So there it is. No more crying, hear? No more whining, hear? No more "Whys?" The Boston Red Sox are champions of the world.

There is only one thing left to say.

"Go Cubbies!"

Yawn...Bet the Bruins can't win the Stanley Cup this year. THEN I'll be impressed.

The only team in the history of baseball to ever reel off 8 straight wins in the postseason.

The only team ever in the history of baseball to overcome a 3-0 deficit in a postseason series.

A mindblowing defeat of the hated Yankees. A dumbfoundingly easy World Series steamrolling of the team with the most wins in baseball in 2004. 21 innings with no earned runs from Boston starting pitching. Mark Bellhorn and Johnny Damon red-hot after being ice cold. Trot Nixon overcoming a bad back and leg to swat the Red Sox to victory. Curt Schilling, having no business on any mound anywhere, bleeding through his sock and pitching his guts out to not one but two crucial victories in the postseason. Pedro settling down and mowing down Cardinal batters. David Ortiz crushing the ball nearly every time he came to the plate. Manny, overcoming defensive challenges, throwing runners out at the plate and batting .412 for the Series. Derek Lowe, two Series-clinching starts, one series-clinching relief stint, and 13 innings of matchless, playoff pitching.

The Red Sox, WINNING THE WORLD SERIES! WINNING THE WORLD SERIES! WINNING THE WORLD SERIES! The 100th World Series, no less. Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Curse has had its ass kicked all over the countryside, and now it is banished to the past.

My throat is sore from singing and shouting. My feet are swollen from 5 hours of standing from pre-game show to post-game celebration. My hands still smart from clapping so much. But I feel no pain. For today, generations of New Englanders have had sadness and frustration lifted from their souls.

The Red Sox are champions, and all is right with the world.

...get out the brooms, because the sorry no-account Cardinals are going down tonight!

...I actually agree with Chris, and I'm not alone among Sox fans in thinking that this Series almost seems easy. I think all Sox fans anticipated a very difficult series with St. Louis, and many probably feared the Idiots would lose because they had used up whatever strength they had left in the record-setting comeback against the Yanks. I think even the most optimistic saw a very tight 6 or 7 game series.

To be up 3-0 and facing the opportunity to SWEEP the Cards?? Is this Bizarro World?

...I'm still going to Boston for the victory parade....oh, yeah....

Curious what the authors and editors of National Review Online drink? Of course not. But now you can find out.

This World Series is completely unsatisfying. The Red Sox ought to be challenged to win this. Instead, the Cardinals are looking like the French army.

Boooo!

With 50 percent of the precincts having been counted, I declare the Red Sox to be World Series champions.

I hope this presages a golden era of long losing streaks being broken, with the Cubs up next.

Amusing piece from Weekly Standard website.

WTF - no link mechanism available.

Cut and paste this: http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/004/830zwtlq.asp

I turn my phone off for one weekend and there are five voicemails from Renkey and Lewis. Two thoughts occur to me:

1) I'm so sad that I missed the fun.

2) I'm so happy that I missed the fun.

...so, yes, Matt and I split two pitchers of watered-down Bud -- how else do I explain being perfectly sober to drive to Alexandria after consuming a pitcher of beer -- I think the beer gets more watered-down each time we go there.

Then, after losing twice to Lewis in Golden Tee 2005 -- though the first time only by 4 strokes due to a Van de Veldian collapse on holes 17-18 -- I departed for another bar to...

...WATCH MY RED SOX WIN GAME 1 OF THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...we won with our weakest starting pitcher, whose only pitch was hampered by a 21mph wind blowing in to the stadium, and despite committing 4 errors that had us looking like the mid-July Red Sox, not the AL Champion Red Sox. We have Schilling going tomorrow, and the suddenly unhittable Derek Lowe going in Game 4. And if Pedro shows up, we might sweep this whole shebang. I am near to calling this Series for the Sox already, but will refrain from inviting bad karma by doing so...

...then I went to bed with a smile on my face, dreams of Varitek hugging Keith Foulke in my head, only to be awakened several times at 2:30 in the morning by two drunken sots screaming, "America, Fuck Yeah!".

I think they called at least six times and left several drunken voice mails after I turned off my phone. That Knob Creek and Bacardi Gold must be evil stuff, indeed.....

...apparently, Lewis took full advantage of the absence of his wife and daughter, drinking for oh, 7 hours between 5 p.m. and 2 a.m. GOOD GOD, MAN!

...apparently, Team America is really funny.

...apparently, I missed out.

...I say, WHATEVER. 1-0, Red Sox. The Curse is having its ass kicked.

That post was hilarious - even funnier than the message on my cell phone from about 3 am this morning. Wish I had been there - except for the Knob Creek part of course.

First off, for those of you just reading Malt Shop Logic from LiveJournal, this is Lewis (oh, yeah, and fuck you for not going to the real site).

Went to the Source tonight. First Chapin showed up. Ben did not. Bastard. Then Renkey showed up after Chapin left. Chapin left after I beat him twice at Golden Tee. Next I will give him a golden shower. But enough of that...

Renkey showed up eventually, after Chapin abandoned ship to watch his excuse for a baseball team in the World Series. I mean, seriously, there will be AT LEAST 3 more games!

So it was up to me and Renkey to represent. After the Malt Shop, we had to resupply, so a trip to Tenly Liquor was in order. They were giving away free samples of Knob Creek (which we both enjoyed) and we toyed with the idea of sending a case to San Diego (it WAS 10% off). Instead, we settled on a small bottle of Bacardi Gold that would fit in my inner jacket pocket. The movie Gestapo would never be able to stop us.

We bravely made our way to 5100 Wisconsin Ave, dangerously near the Maryland (and, dare I say, Montgomery County) border, the commie bastards. Secure in our secrecy, we procured tickets to Team America: World Police. It would be good to see what CAPT Ben Lyng was up to.

We bought a #2 combo (large popcorn and two mediumb drinks) not caring about the homosexual overtones that might be inferred by the less than casual observer. I was ready to kick them to the curb. It turned out to be a really cool theater. The screen was really fucking big, and there were a lot of god damn seats.

We sucked some coke from our drinks, and proceeded to empty the contraband liquor into our sodas. Some idiots walked by the row in front of us, and they kicked the bottle that I had covertly slid down the sticky floor.

Trey and Matt delivered greatly on promises of action, comedy and sex. Never have I been so turned on by marionettes. In fact, Renkey has a marionette fetish now (and not just Asian ones!). Everyone was made fun of in true South Park fashion. I can't remember when I've laughed this hard...and this includes the Family Guy episode I saw last night, where Ali (Ollie?) gave the Blackie Weather Forcast: "It gonna RAIN!"

In the end, I can only sum up the night with three words:

America....FUCK YEAH!

On behalf of my Cubs -

THE RED SOX MUST BE STOPPED!

According to a Detroit News tracking poll, Michigan is in play, with the President actually in the lead (though a poll by a rival firm has Kerry up 6).

And a poll from Hawaii (noted by the Kerry Spot on National Review Online had the President up by one too!

Wow.

I will say this about Michigan - I was at a forum with the News' pollster on Tuesday and he still predicted that Kerry would win. However, I do know that the President is doing better in the part of the state - Oakland County - that I deal with than he did 4 years ago. Most of the GOP ads have been running in the western, more Republican part of the state, probably solidifying numbers there. Maybe Michigan will go for the Pres., and if that happens, we won't be counting ballots in Florida for three weeks.

And if Hawaii goes for the President, I won't know what to think.

His liveblogging from a Nanotechnology conference is linked to by Instapundit. Here's the link.

It's very interesting.

Though I will note that, if Houston were to win tonight, I believe one Roger Clemens will be in line to pitch Game 7 of the World Series. That's not good karma.

By the way, I realize that the umps got the A-Rod call right in Game 6 regarding slapping the ball out of the pitcher's hand who was tagging him, but could someone tell me why that isn't legal? We encourage runners to plow into catchers. We encourage runners to take out the pivot man on the double play. Why shouldn't you be allowed to slap the ball out of a player's mitt who is trying to tag you and by definition in your way? Just a question.

3-3, one game for all the marbles. GO SOX!

Curt Schilling is unreal....

...I've ever sat through a more soul-crushing defeat. 19-8. Unreal.

I thought I should report in that my home internet service has finally been restored. Two nights ago, a Comcast technician came to the apartment, patiently listened to me recount my saga, and said, "Well, we're going to try what everyone else should have tried in the first place and didn't. We're going to plug a powered signal amplifier into your incoming line and see what happens."

Five minutes and one trip to his van later, the amplifier was plugged in, my service was restored, and I was humming along the information superhighway.

The worst part: he was from New York and wearing a Yankees cap...DAMN THE IRONY!!

If only someone could repair my woeful fantasy football team as easily.

And Chris -- the fact that Jeff had to watch was worse -- and no, he didn't really watch -- though he was apparently seated directly across from the fellow and was in a somewhat unavoidable position of witnessing said events.........

Oakland County, Michigan, that is.

I would have more confidence in the Red Sox if Schilling's ankle did not disintegrate ten days ago. Not a positive development. Then again, I'm not rooting for the Red Sox.

That sucks about Comcast - can't your apartment complex invite Starpower in? Not that it will help your immediate problem.

Finally, regarding your brother's report from Malaysia - was it more disturbing that Malaysians think it's appropriate to offer prostitutes or that your brother actually watched one of his colleagues "get a hand job from a Malaysian prostitute who may or may not have been a she-male?". We report, you decide.

And, yes, I realize he probably did not actually watch. At least I hope.

...I will only admit to panic if the Sox lose Game 3. They are going home for 3 straight games and could easily emerge with a 3-2 lead. I think their bats will awaken -- it was not unusual during the year to have a cold game like this after scoring a lot of runs. I think we will see them put up 8-10 runs in Game 3, and nearly that many in Games 4-5. Go Sox!

Brian, this is really about the Red Sox. I think God is trying to tell you something. Some things just aren't meant to be.

So, two weeks after moving into my new apartment in late August, my Comcast high-speed internet stopped working. I tried all of the standard fixes -- re-setting the modem; re-setting the router; unplugging and re-plugging everything in different orders...checking cable connections; network cables; etc. Checked the wiring in the wall to make sure everything was tightened and that no wires were crimped, etc. etc. Nothing worked.

So, I called Comcast and had a technician come over...who told me that a) the "incoming signal" -- the signal coming into my apartment -- was incredibly weak and b) that the problem was with wiring outside of my apartment. So he said he would schedule a time to come back and re-wire -- that he would call me to let me know when he'd come by.

He never called or showed up again.

So, I called Comcast again. Told them everything, asked that they send someone ready to re-wire outside. They said, "No problem. Will do." So, a technician showed up -- not ready for any wiring -- and promptly argued with me about the cause of the problem and said that the previous technician was completely wrong. After an hour, he discovered that the problem was indeed the outside wiring. But he said that the problem was not the incoming signal, but "the return path". He theorized that squirrels could have chewed through some wire and caused the problem.

So, he scheduled another technician to come out and check the return path in the external wire.

They came and said.....The return path and external wiring are fine. Problem must be inside.

So now I have another technician scheduled to come to the apartment this afternoon. I have no doubt he will tell me the problem is outside!

For most of the last six weeks, I've had no home Internet service.

And my recourse? None -- because Comcast, formerly known as Cable TV of Arlington, is a monopoly. Though its monopoly protection was officially removed in 2000, it effectively remains a monopoly, because the only other authorized provider, Starpower, put the kibosh on plans to offer cable and high-speed internet after the telecom crash.

Makes me want to use the BFG 9000 on Comcast hq.

My brother, Jeff, reports in to ask, "How do you look a client in the face at a business meeting and hold a serious discussion with him when the night before you were watching him get a hand job from a Malaysian prostitute who may or may not have been a she-male?"

Turns out that despite the prevalence of AIDS, the sex trade remains a huge part of the busines culture in Southeast Asia. Jeff reported that his hosts on a recent business trip to Malaysia and Indonesia (home to factories manufacturing parts for a product he's designed) offered him prostitutes every single night of the 10 or so days he was there. He constantly fought off the unwanted and aggressive affection of women of the night -- they reportedly have no compunction about groping a man within moments of sitting down next to him, including putting their hands right down a man's pants.

The "highlight" of the trip was a client-led sojourn to the Crazy Horse bar in Singapore, where reportedly 50% of the prostitutes were trans-sexuals. Said Jeff, "The plastic surgery was so good you couldn't tell."

Jeff was happy to return home to Germany, where even the hairiest women can be told apart from the men..........

So, Christopher Reeve died. And it turns out ABC News has been anxious for the story. This link is an image of the ABCNews.com website with "XX" written where the details were to be filled in.

You want pessimism? Try spending years toiling away on a project. You give every ounce of creative energy you have. Then you walk away from it realizing that the people in charge are idiots.

Later, an email arrives.

From: XXXXXXX
Sent: Thursday, October 07, 2004 8:20 PM
To: info@fednet.net
Subject: Congressman Ryan (OH)

I heard an amazing speech (three times) today on Sirius Satellite Radio of Congressman Tim Ryan, D-OH17. I believe the video is from Tuesday or Wednesday, 10/5 or 10/6. Your site is given credit (both on Air America and another talk show on Sirius Satellite) as the source for the video... but, I have not been able to locate it.

Any pointers?

It turns out Congressman Tim Ryan (D-OH) has been using my little tool to post his speech regarding the draft on his website. And it's gaining a lot of national exposure.

I'm not saying there's not room for optimism about your Red Sox, I'm just saying that when you and the rest of the Red Sox fans start looking ahead to the World Series already, you are setting yourselves up for the Big Fall.

Remember, I live in fear of the Red Sox winning the World Series, so I'm not exactly their biggest fan right now, so I'm probably biased. But we've all seen this show before.

Here's another couple thoughts about this year's playoffs:
1. I don't really see the Cardinals losing to anyone. They're really good. And that pisses me off as much as anything because I hate the Cardinals.
2. Speaking of hating, I don't like any of the teams in the playoffs either. None. They could all lose and I would be happier.

VICTORY IS MINE!!! Wells College, that infamous home of “alternative lifestyles” that messed up my girlfriend in college, is going CO-ED!!! Check out the story at http://www.cnn.com/2004/EDUCATION/10/06/womens.college.ap/index.html

…but I just have a different and better feeling about this year’s Sox. After the searing disappointment of last October, it would have been easy for this year’s team to fold. But despite struggling during the mid-part of the season, they came out late, got hot, and did what they had to do to make the playoffs. Some fans were disappointed that the Sox didn’t take the AL East. Not me. That was never realistic after May-July, and I was happy to see them comfortably in the playoffs with a week to go, resting their best players, and still nipping at the Yanks’ heels. It was especially good to see them take 2 of 3 from the Yankees in the last series. And now, they’ve gone up 2-0 against the Angels on the road. Yes, the Angels are banged up and tired from fighting off the A’s and Rangers. But good teams aspiring to be great take care of business, and that’s just what the Red Sox did. Pedro looks awesome, Schilling dominates, the offense is incredible – and the Yankees are vulnerable. I think the biggest challenge will not be the Yankees but perhaps the Cardinals or Astros come World Series time. Check out Bill Simmons’ article today on Page 2 @ ESPN. It says it all.
Now who’s up for beer this weekend?

that Cubs fans seem to carry themselves with a certain gravitas.

I wouldn't call it grace and dignity (14 old styles in the 500's at Wrigley will kind of rob you of that, especially when the Fjarns is getting shelled), but Cubs fans are angry or hopeful or quietly, grindingly devoted.

Whereas Red Sox fans are the biggest damn bunch of Jolly Ollies when their team strings together a win, and bitch about the Yankees like girls the rest of the time.

I grew up hating the Yankees (that whole upstate vs. downstate thing, and my old man has New England ties that made me a childhood devotee of the Sox), but since moving back here I've actually started to root for the men in pinstripes, if I care about AL ball at all, only because I delight in the way it sets of the Red Sox apologists. There are a lot of them around here, and they whine too damn much all the time.

Since my Cubbies blew it in the last week of the season, I mostly live in fear that the Red Sox will win the World Series this year and leave the Cubs alone as the most cursed team in baseball.

Then I read Brian's posts.

I can't help but think that Red Sox fans are setting themselves up for a major fall - again. I know they look like the best team now, but if we have learned anything about the Cubs and Red Sox - particularly the Red Sox - is that when you get cocky about their chances, they will crush you. I don't think it is a coincidence that the Red Sox surge that began in August coincided with many people giving up on them. They raise you up just to knock you down.

Pedro Resurgent. Varitek Magnificent. Nomar Who?

...the Angels are toast. Prediction: Red Sox, 3 games to 1.

Bring on the Yankees/Twins....

...with all of the comments in Last's article, most especially his critiques of the "improvements" in the narrative structure of the films, none of which seem to make the films anything but worse.

And I am bothered as well by the uneven experience presented on these DVDs -- I bought them, and sure enough, in some places, the sound is amazing -- but in others, particularly the oft mentioned Moff Tarkin/Death Star Destruction of Alderaan scene -- the sound suddenly goes back to quality levels from the VHS days -- or worse. Having said that, the films for the most part look and sound incredible on DVD. They were worth the purchase, even if I am disappointed in some of the godawful choices Lucas has made over the years.

Lastly, I agree with one of Chris's earlier posts -- them Cubs are downright embarrassing.

Go BoSox!

Two good articles from the Weekly Standard today ripping George Lucas' defilement of the original Star Wars trilogy - here and here.

...is anyone else tired now of the Bush refrain on "mixed messages"? I was saddened last night that it seemed as if Bush was clinging to that line like a man clings to a plank floating in the water as his ship sinks.

...and for the love of God, can someone please get Bush to offer an attitude in his speech other than, "I can't believe you people don't see how right I am!!!"

...his constant incredulity is wearing thin..............