Malt Shop Logic

I hate being a Cubs fan.

...is raise my PMP hand, and tha biatch client whimpers in da corner like a beaten dog.

...on another note, bronchitis sucks, especially following on the heels of having to take care of the gf after she slips on the stairs and sprains both knees and one ankle.

...and yes, Close, that's why I haven't touched my fantasy team. One weekend I was at the hospital, and the other, I was in bed with 102 degree fever.

...but now I am feeling better, especially after dragging my still bronchitis ridden self to FedEx Field to watch my Cowboys whup some Redskin ass.

How 'bout them Cowboys!!

..everything will be fine once Chaps gets his PMP certification.

qu., Chaps, when the client git all up in yo grill on ya at tha site, do you have to raise up wit' yo PMP hand?

Seriously speaking, syndication is fine. I take and embrace it as truth that Josh is still alive.

Syndication is
Fine. But what about drinking?
Playing Golden Tee?

Syndicating the site simply meant that it's now accesible on both Blogger and LiveJournal. Nothing has changed except that I can now read Malt Shop Logic while I'm on LiveJournal without having to go to the Malt Shop Logic webpage.

I'm really not sure what Josh's syndicating Malt Shop Logic does, but we'll accept it. We probably don't have any choice. By the way, Josh, interesting addition to your friends blog list. You know what I'm talking about.

Now we'll see if we can get some chatter in here.

...cause if you did, you'd get in trouble...

Virginia's Marquis Weeks caps off his 100-yard kickoff return for the touchdown. "That was just instinct. Kind of like running from the cops," said the senior tailback

...so my company has mandated that every employee at my level and above achieve the "Project Management Professional" certification by end of October by taking an exam called the PMP. It wants to use the "PMP credential" to justify charging higher rates for us. But...

1. PMP is run by an external institute, not controlled by my company.
2. One has to apply to be "admitted" to take the PMP Exam -- and admission is not guaranteed.
3. I don't have nearly the hours of Project Management experience to qualify for admission -- need 4500, I have about 2800. So I have to lie on my application...
4. ...because it was made clear to me by my superiors that not being admitted is not an option.
5. Just applying to be eligible to take the exam costs $550.
6. The company, which in my opinion should either pay the fee itself or reimburse as soon as you apply, won't pay for it up front, insists that I pay for it, and won't reimburse me until and unless I pass the test -- which requires, according to the institute, at least 200 hours of prep to pass (70% score or higher). Which I'll have to do in my almost non-existent free time, because I work onsite for a client full-time, and do corporate business development work when I'm not doing that, and do corporate business administration work when I'm not doing that.
7. The company refuses to consider any post-test incentives for employees who take and pass the test.
8. Does this seem to anyone else on this board a fine way to demoralize employees?

...so this post originally began as a rant about how domesticity blows. It seems to empty my wallet more every day and drain my already low "free time" account.

...but then I went to Best Buy and discovered that Fall 2004 means DVD Heaven...and my sould was assuaged.

Just a few of the DVDs available for you boys to check out this fall.

1. Dazed and Confused "Flashback Edition" -- 15 starters, 22 lettermen...lookin' tough." "That's what I love about high school girls -- I get older, they stay the same age." Need I say more? Here are a few of the features: English DD5.1 & DTS 5.1 Surround; Audio commentary "Class Reunion" style with director Richard Linklater (hope this means with some of the actors); Nine Never-Before Seen Deleted Scenes; The Blunt Truth (one site calls it a Mock Institutional Filmstrip On The Dangers Of Partying); Retro Public Service Announcements -- probably similar to the Blunt Truth.

2. Magnum, P.I. Season One -- one of the greatest television series of all time begins its journey to DVD...Magnum, Higgins, TC, Rick, Mac, Icepick, the Ferrari, Hawaii......

3. Clerks X -- A special 10th Anniversary Edition of Clerks for those of us Kevin Smith fans...has one of my favorite "Angry Man" lines of all times -- "Try not to suck any d*** on the way to the car!"

4. Diff'rent Strokes, the Complete First Season -- Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?!

5. The Star Wars Trilogy -- Yes, I know it's full of changes that none of us like -- but still -- the fight between Vader and Skywalker in Empire Strikes Back; the Death Star trench run in Star Wars; the three-way battle between Skywalker, Vader, and Palpatine in Return of The Jedi; all this and more in glorious crystal-clear video and Dolby Digital 5.1 surround. I'll be at Best Buy on September 21!

6. The Untouchables, Special Edition (Oct. 5) -- a fun gangster flick with one of Sean Connery's best ever performances (for which he won an Oscar).

7. 40th Anniversary -- Dr. Strangelove -- or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb -- one of the best films of all time. Peter Sellers and George C. Scott in a scathing satire of the Cold War mentality.

8. Top Gun, Special Edition (Nov. 16) -- the roar of jet engines in 5.1 sound. Awesome.

Got internet at the house, so I decided I'd start my internet poker career - except that I did not realize that my credit card company only likes to do business with unambiguously legal institutions. So my real money "career" is on hold while I figure out my options to make a deposit. Since some of them include giving partypoker.com my checking account number (not a chance), I have some research to do. Mr. Lewis, how did you make your deposits?

I did play in Party Poker's free games (they give $1,000 in play money for signing up). It gave me a chance to get a sense of how things work - and how much players there suck. I played maybe seven of those tournaments and at least twice, four players were all in on the first hand. I know that's what happens when it's free, but really. In any event, my results were satisfying - one first, three seconds, two thirds, and a fourth, so my play money account is bursting!

Return of the Jedi starring Hayden Christensen!

I'm still not ready to declare complete victory with this National Guard forged records thing, but if it turns out to be true, how great is this?

People are so consumed with beating Bush that they'll stoop to anything - including forged documents. And the media is buying in without due diligence.

Assuming this came from Dems (and why wouldn't you), it has become clear that they are completely unhinged. It's like the Bush 1992 campaign all over again - when they got caught pulling Clinton's FBI file from when he was a kid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

Stupid.

When ESPN started charging for its fantasy football analysis, I could live with that.

When ESPN started charging for the columns of some of its writers, I lived with that.

But now ESPN is charging to read its online chats. I can no longer live with that.

F espn.com. It is dead to me.